


Beginning, The

by TWWGIRL66



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-08-17
Updated: 2008-08-17
Packaged: 2019-05-15 13:55:15
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 41,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14791784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWWGIRL66/pseuds/TWWGIRL66
Summary: CJ and Toby meet again after 5 years





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

  
Author's notes: There is a plot, but also a whole lotta sex. Its pre white house.  
  
CJ is not "herself" because her strength comes between the end of this story and her return from CA...and so we merrily go....  


* * *

Part 1

~~Berkeley, August 1987 ~~

The phone rang as CJ walked in the door. “Hello?”

“Jeannie? It’s Becca – what are you doing Thanksgiving?” 

CJ sighed, “You know that Thanksgiving has just been another day, since Mama died. Daddy doesn’t want any sort of celebration – especially this year. He wants to be alone.”

“Yeah. Why don’t you come out here – I have just the to thing take your mind off it. Are you sitting down?” Becky grinned.

“No, but, it sounds as if that’s necessary.” CJ laughed quietly as she plopped on the sofa. Who is it this time – Astro or Spanky?”

“David proposed.” Becky said excitedly. “The wedding is the Saturday after Thanksgiving. Come out for your birthday, and we’ll be able to catch up. David’s brother has only just returned to New York, and I want you to meet.”

Her heart stopped... and world froze for what seemed like hours, but was only minutes. “Tell me this guy’s name again.”

Becky laughed, “You know it’s Toby. Tobias Zachary Ziegler to be exact. I’m really nervous...”

A shiver went up her spine. {You’re nervous? … Toby…could it really be her Toby? ‘With a name like Tobias Zachary Ziegler – you really think I am going to be gung ho for prayer in school? That’s why people go to Temple and Church.’}

“Jeannie? Are you there? Earth to Claudia Jean...”

“Yeah... yeah I’m with you. I don’t know if I’m ready. It’s only been –”

“Too long, any guy, idiotic enough to let you get away for more than five minutes – is truly insane. I really need you to be my Maid Of Honor.”

CJ grinned, “Now, tell me, how am I supposed to say no to that?”

~~Thanksgiving, 1987~~

CJ had managed to evade ‘meeting’ Toby all week. She even persuaded Becky to let her spend Thanksgiving alone, with reassurances that she would see her the following day. That particular year, Thanksgiving happened to fall on the anniversary of her mother’s death.

Shortly after four, there was a knock at CJ’s door. “You have to eat – here. David sends his love.”

CJ smiled, “What are you doing here?”

“Excuse me, but I do not become Mrs. David Nathan Ziegler for another 48 hours.” Becky smiled, “You are most important right now – this is what we do for each other. Now, eat something. We have turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, candied yams, green beans and five different kinds of pie. Of course, it wouldn’t be complete without ice cream.”

“Five kinds of pie?”

“Toby is quite the cook.” Becky smiled.

{He certainly made me sizzle.}

“So, tell me about this idiot who dumped you.”

“He didn’t dump me, he just gave me reason to dump him. The guy thought he was starting a conversation. He just wasn’t who I wanted in my life.”

“Pray tell, just who do you want?” Becky grinned. “Ben will be here...”

“Will you never give up?” CJ laughed, “That’s just wrong. Now, I have food. I will eat. You need rest, be a good little bride-to-be and go home. I love you.”

“More than words can say. Good night.” As she kissed CJ on the cheek, Becky left.

~§~*~§~*

The next afternoon, Becky’s phone rang. “Hello?”

“Becca, it’s Jeannie and I’m sorry, but it looks as though I’m not going to make it in time for the rehearsal. My rental seems to have ideas of its own for this afternoon – and decided to go for a swim without consulting me.” CJ laughed.

“Are you all right? Do you need me to come there?”

“I’m fine. You have to practice getting married.” She laughed, “Astro didn’t throw any Jewish customs in on me did he?”

“Just your average Catholic wedding,” Becky smiled, “with the Rabbi’s blessing as well – nothing you have to learn. Will I see you at dinner?”

“I’ll be there.”

~§~*~§~*

The rehearsal dinner was at the Waldorf-Astoria. CJ managed to circulate most of the evening without running into Toby, but she could feel his eyes. 

David finally cornered her, “Jeans dear – you look wonderful. However, you’ve been avoiding us all week.” He smiled.

“Hey, Astro, I’m so proud of you... You popped the question. I never thought I’d see the day,” CJ laughed. “Where’s Becca?”

David grinned, “Holding my brother hostage. Come, she thinks you need to meet Tobs, and I have been sent to retrieve you.” As they approached, he said, “Here is our reclusive Maid Of Honor.”

Becky beamed, “Tobias Zachary Ziegler, I would like you to meet my friend, Claudia Jean Cregg.

Jeannie dear, this is Toby.”

Toby smiled and mumbled something into his shoes.

CJ watched quietly, as he blushed to his ears. Also looking down, she caught his eyes studying her in the mirrored floor.

David grinned, and taking Becky’s hand, said, “Come on. Let them be – we have to mingle. You two behave.”

When they were alone, Toby stepped forward. While still holding her gaze in the floor, whispered, “Is it really you?”

A shiver went up her spine. She smiled, “Last time I checked, I was in fact, me.” 

He grinned, “You are still as beautiful as I remember.”

“Thank you.” After a couple of beats, she broke the spell, “If you’ll excuse me, I need a walk.” CJ turned and quickly headed out of the ballroom. It wasn’t long before Toby followed, having decided he could never let Claudia Jean Cregg out of his sight again.

~§~*~§~*

When Toby reached the doorway, CJ was walking along the edge of the fountain, in the middle of the lobby. Just as he was getting ready to say something, Toby heard: “There’s my Claudine.”

“Ben. Becky said you’d be here.” CJ said coldly, “Why do you insist on calling me Claudine? I hate it, you know that.”

“It’s all mine. You are too good for him... I don’t want you to feel obligated, because my sister is marrying his brother – we all know how symbiotic you are.

“You don’t know what you’re talking about! I have a mind of my own. If it’s telling me that Toby Ziegler is one of the finest men I’ve ever met – I trust it – more than I would ever trust you.”

“Come on, one kiss – I’ll make you forget Toby Ziegler!”

“No, I don’t want to forget! Benjamin Quinn get the hell the away from me!” As she shoved him, CJ toppled into the fountain.

As Ben tried to approach, Toby made himself known. “I heard the lady say no. Get away from her, Ben – now! This is Rebecca and David’s rehearsal dinner, or, so help me, I would flatten you. Get away from Miss Cregg, or I will call in the reserves. Now, go – and don’t let the door hit you on the way out.” 

Ben stormed off, muttering something inaudible.

Toby checked on CJ, and said, “Are you all right?”

“Yeah – thanks.”

Toby smiled, “You’re welcome.” As he stepped into the fountain, he asked, “Can you stand? Here, take my hand.”

CJ tried, but stumbled backward, “I’m okay – but I think it’s twisted.”

“Will you permit me to help you to your room?” Toby asked with a shy smile.

In a soft voice, she replied, “Thank you.”

“Now, put your arms around my neck and hold on.” Toby whispered as he carried her out of the fountain, “What room number?”

“Becca reserved one of their best suites, 2606.” CJ blushed, “She thought I deserved to be pampered.”

Toby smiled. {Same reason.}

~§~*~§~*


	2. Beginning, The

Part 2

“We’re here, CJ.” Toby smiled on the inside, “Let me have your key.”

After she settled, Toby said, “I better get back. Are you going to be all right?”

“Won’t you stay for a drink? You saved me down there.”

“No one deserves to be treated like that.” Toby tucked an errant strand of hair behind her ear. “God, you’re beautiful.”

CJ shivered. “I… need to change”

“I know, but now I’m afraid to let you out of my sight.”

CJ laughed, “It’s my room – where exactly do you think I’d go?”

Just then, there was a knock at the door. CJ opened it, to find a bellman. “Yes?”

“I was told to deliver this immediately.”

“Wait right here.” Going to her purse and fishing out a $10 bill, she continued, “Thank you.” She recognized Becca’s handwriting. When she opened it, the note said:

Jeannie –

You have him on the line – now land him. I saw the look in his eyes, when you came up with David. Trust me.

See you at two J.

All my love,  
Becca

“You never answered my question.” She said softly, “Where would I go?”

Toby shrugged and whispered, “You disappeared last time.” 

“I’m not disappearing. I do however; want to get out of these clothes.” As she smiled shyly CJ whispered, “I need someone with a gentle touch to help me with this zipper.”

“I’ve been told that my touch is very gentle.” He said as he approached. As Toby held CJ’s face in his hands, for a few minutes, he whispered, “It is you.” After a chaste kiss, he gently turned her, moved CJ’s hair out of the way, and unzipped the dress. Before reaching what David referred to as the ‘blush line’, Toby stopped and said “you can get it from here.”

Toby was mesmerized, as he watched the way her hips swayed, as CJ walked toward her room. Toby was certain of three things. First, that he wanted CJ, second the feeling was mutual, and third and most pressing – he needed to get out of his wet clothes. Before she returned, Toby slipped away to his room.

~§~*~§~*

When Toby didn’t follow, CJ threw on a UC Berkeley tee and sweatpants, and reappeared in the living room, only to find it empty. She sat on the couch, and wept, just as Toby reentered dressed in a CCNY sweatshirt and NASA sweatpants.

“CJ…Claude? What’s wrong – what happened?”

“Let go of me – you disappeared this time! I thought I came on too strong, and ... where did you come from?” CJ asked through tears.

Toby grinned. “My soon to be sister-in-law is devious. She informed me, I’d be sharing a suite; I assumed that the night before the wedding – it would be David on the other side.”

“You mean...”

“It gives new meaning to the phrase ‘your room or mine?’ I knew what you wanted – what I wanted, I just needed to be comfortable. Didn’t think you’d have time to miss me. I’m sorry.” As he caressed her cheek, his voice dropped: “You’ll never know how much.”

“I would like to, I never knew what was behind the door. Will you give me a tour?”

Toby beamed, as he brushed her knuckles with a kiss, “I will, but you must understand that apparently – that is...well, it’s like this…”

“What aren’t you saying?” CJ smiled. 

~§~*~§~*

“It appears that Becca has a certain ‘outcome’ in mind for this evening.” Toby blushed. “Close your eyes, take my hand, and follow me.” After a few minutes, he said, “Okay, open.”

“Oh my!” Beside the bed stood a tray with two bottles of champagne on ice, flutes, and bowls with strawberries, and chocolate sauce. “I’m going to kill her.” CJ laughed.

Toby’s voice dropped, “I need you to sit here, look at me … only me … and listen. All I need tonight – any night – is you. If all this…any of this… makes you uncomfortable, say the word. My dream is to make love to you – with you – it never has to involve chocolate or strawberries.” Toby smiled.

“It’s not that I mind” she said quietly, “it’s just so fast – I’d...”

“SShh, it’s okay...” Toby readied to move everything.

CJ smiled, and said quickly, “The champagne can stay.”

As he left the ice bucket, Toby shifted the rest into the bathroom and shut the door. “There, now – the tour. This is the bed. It’s really the only thing that matters...”

“Toby?”

“The beautiful woman on it withstanding. What do you want, Claude?”

Silence.

“I need you to say it, Claude – I refuse to be another Ben.”

“You could never be Ben... but –”

Toby smiled. “What?”

“It doesn’t make sense... it really doesn’t. I’ve dreamt of this, for so long, and now I’m frightened.” Tears began to run down her face, “I was always taught, ‘if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is’. It’s just that... ever since Becca told me, that David had a brother named Toby... I spent months thinking ‘what if’ and ‘could it be’. My world spun tonight, and now, she… and you...” CJ bolted from the room.

As her door shut, Toby grabbed the champagne and glasses and followed. He knocked on the door and said, “Claudia? May I come in?”

“Yeah,” she whispered.

“Hey.” After Toby placed the champagne and flutes on a side table, and knelt beside her. “May I talk to you?”

CJ nodded.

“This may not come out right – so bear with me... I looked for you everywhere, after ‘Buchanan for Congress’. All I knew tonight was that Becca had a ‘friend’ she wanted me to ‘meet’. When I saw you walk in the door, I froze in my seat. Like you, I thought it was ‘too good to be true.’ Then when you walked up with David, – I saw and heard no one but you.”

CJ laughed, “For the record, you were staring at the floor.”

Toby grinned, “I really do understand, how all that could overwhelm you. This is what I propose.”

“You’re proposing? Toby!”

He blushed. “First, I’m going to be honest – I do want you – but not until you’re ready.”

Tears flowed freely from CJ’s eyes, and Toby wiped them away. “We will stay here. This is your turf – call the shots. I would be happy to stretch out here all night, holding you, and talking if that’s what you want.”

CJ whispered, “I do want you – always have. I just… hate the way this is being set up to resemble a bad episode of ‘Love Connection’.”

“Claudia? Sit down, close your eyes, and turn the clock back five years.” CJ began to protest. “No. You will listen to me – please… I want to say, what I should have said then. If only I had,” Toby whispered, “that could be us down there.”

~§~*~§~*

CJ’s eyes flew open. “Toby –”

“Can you honestly look at me, and say that if we had explored whatever force there was that day, we would not be together?”

CJ looked at the floor, “I don’t know what you’re...”

“Look at me, and say that with a straight face. I heard you downstairs, ‘I have a mind of my own, and if it is telling me that Toby Ziegler is one of the finest men I’ve ever met – I trust It.’ – you’d just met me. Hell, you avoided me all week….”

“Okay, you win – happy now?”

“It depends – are you?” Toby whispered, as he cocked his head.

“That’s not fair! You know –”

“All I know is, that day. You were so passionate... so wound – that the only thing I could do to shut you up – was to kiss you.”

“Just the touch of your lips, gave me the most powerful – oh, my God!” CJ froze, and ran.

~§~*~§~*

CJ had her hand on the front door, when Toby said earnestly, “Claude! Don’t run – not from me – not again.” When she turned around, Toby held her stare. “I won’t hurt you, but you must understand in the eight hours, we spent together – my life changed... I had never met anyone like you.”

CJ reached out, and caressed his cheek. “What did I do, to ever deserve you?”

“Just lucky I guess.” Toby whispered, as he kissed her palm. “Do you trust me?”

“I want to, but... I’m scared.”

“I don’t know what he did to you, but I’ll leave you alone. I’ll be in my bedroom.”

~§~*~§~*

As the door clicked behind him, she sighed, and walked out. CJ needed time to think. When the elevator opened, she collided with Becky and David.

“Jeannie? What are you doing here – where’s Toby? I thought that...”

“You thought wrong – finally, you went too far! It was a complete and total disaster!” CJ snapped, and walked swiftly toward the bar.

“Damn it, I have to go after her.”

“You, my dear, need some sleep. I will talk to Jeannie – it will be okay.”

“David, I have …”

As he kissed her on the head, David whispered, “Go to bed.”

~§~*~§~*

“Jeans? I come in peace. What happened? I have my theory, but I want to hear it from you.”

“It’s complicated, Astro – I don’t really know where to start...”

“How about – I tell you my theory – and you stop me if I’m wrong.”

CJ smiled, “Go for it.”

“First, I don’t think it was a ‘complete and total disaster.’ I think it had the possibility for being a complete and total success – until you freaked out.”

“David, I...”

“Let me finish – my brother doesn’t form attachments easily. Usually, when Toby was on the campaign trail, I’d hear about how idiotic the interns could be.

Until about five years ago, I got a call one night from Toby. My curmudgeon of a brother announced that he’d met the girl of his dreams, but had no idea how to find her. ‘All I know is her name is Claude and she has these amazing hazel eyes that turn gray when she’s passionate about something.’” As David turned her face to meet his, he continued, “Toby described you to a tee.”

“When did you figure it out?” CJ asked.

David laughed, “Just now – although I began suspecting something, when you avoided the house all week.” With another chuckle, David continued, “Then, Toby picked up a picture of you taken a few years ago and turned pale.”

CJ blushed.

“As he traced your outline in the photo, Toby asked me who you were.”

“To which you responded…” CJ smiled for the first time.

“Are you kidding? I didn’t want to miss the show – I told him you were Becca’s sister. Toby thought he was meeting her best friend – so when you walked in tonight...” 

CJ smiled, “Free fireworks – you’re almost as bad as your wife.”

“So tell me, how is it that you come to be here with me, and not upstairs with my brother?”

“It was all so – set up...”

“I’m afraid, that would be my wife. She loves you, you know.”

“I do – with all my heart.” Very quietly, she continued, “Then Toby said he wanted me and…”

“You bolted.” David sighed, “Let me say this again: my brother doesn’t say those things easily. You must have made quite the first impression. Trust me on this; Toby loves you very much, go make each other happy. Don’t be afraid. Now, scram.”

“One more thing – has Becca figured it out?”

David beamed, “You’re safe. Any other week, and I’d say yes. However, she’s had too much else going on. Now go.”

~§~*~§~*

CJ entered the suite, only to find Toby on the couch reviewing polling numbers from his latest campaign.

“Hey,” she whispered, “thought you were going to bed.”

“I tried, but I couldn’t sleep. I was worried about you – are you all right?”

“I will be – if I haven’t ruined things.” She replied, with a shy smile.

“What do you want, CJ?”

“To be held,” she whispered. “Hold me, Toby. Tell me I haven’t ruined it...”

“Never... you could never ruin it.” As he took CJ’s hand in his, Toby brushed her knuckles with a kiss. Toby smiled, “With or without champagne?”

“Without... I don’t want any distractions.” She grinned.

“Come Miss Cregg – let me show you the positive virtues of holding...”

~§~*~§~*

After a little while, CJ whispered, “Toby? Is something wrong?”

“Where on Earth did that come from?”

She whispered, “It’s just that most guys don’t – pay attention to what I want... you do.”

As he pulled her closer, Toby whispered, “I will always pay attention to you... I promise.”

“The thing is...” CJ said softly, “you are the only one, who I wish wouldn’t.”

“Claude? Look at me. What do you want?”

“I can’t promise I’m up for much more... but I’ve been dreaming of our kiss all night.”

“If I start kissing you, I’m not promising that I can stop.” Toby chuckled.

“I’m not saying you have to stop,” she smiled. “I’m saying you have to wait…”

“Claudia!”

She whispered in his ear, “Only one night, I promise. Tomorrow is guaranteed to be a night neither one of us will forget.”

~§~*~§~*


	3. Beginning, The

Part 3

The next day, CJ awoke in Toby’s arms. “Good Morning.”

Toby smiled, and while twisting a strand of her hair around his finger whispered, “How you could be more beautiful than you were when we went to bed – I’ll never know.”

“Flattery will get you everywhere – later.” She laughed. “Now, I need to take a shower – and meet Becca. I find it safest – if I return to my room.”

“This early? The wedding isn’t until three!” 

“I sorta – well that is... I flipped out on her last night. I need to apologize – badly.”

Toby embraced her tightly and whispered, “Before I let you go, tell me what happened.”

“After…everything…I went downstairs for a drink and to clear my head...”

Toby chuckled, “I speak from experience. One does not necessarily lead to the other.”

She smiled, and whispered, “I assure you, Mr. Ziegler. Last night was 100% alcohol free.” As she curled onto his chest she continued, “When the elevator doors opened, I ran into Becca and David. She wanted to know where you were. I snapped. Told her she’d gone too far. That everything was a complete and total disaster.”

“If last night was the result of a ‘complete and total disaster.’ I can hardly wait for tonight. What changed your mind?”

“David. He’s figured it all out. Said he started suspecting a little when I avoided the house all week.” CJ laughed, “The crowning glory, was when you saw my picture at the house and…”

Toby rubbed his hand over his head. “Oh, no…”

“Yeah, and he caught me, dead to rights.” CJ laughed, “He thought just the opposite was true – that this had the potential for being a complete and total success – and I bolted. He wanted us to ‘go make each other happy’.”

“Did he say anything about Becca?”

CJ smiled, “She still doesn’t suspect a thing... the question is, do I tell her?”

“Is it selfish, for me to say, that I don’t want anyone else to know right now?”

“No it’s not, I’ll do my best. This could be our lucky day – Becca is concentrating on the wedding, so she may not notice.” CJ smiled. “If she does? May I confirm?”

Toby nodded but said, “I’ll talk to David and make sure that under no circumstances, does he give anything away.”

CJ frowned, “We will have to be discreet.”

Toby tilted her face to meet his, “I could care less who finds out today.” As he gave her a tender kiss, Toby whispered, “It’s last night I want to keep private.”

~§~*~§~*

“Well, I’d better shower – because otherwise, we are going to be distracted – and then our cover, for last night will be blown.” CJ laughed.

After a deep kiss, Toby whispered, “See you down there, I will be the other one in the Penguin suit. Oh, and Claude?” 

“Yeah?”

“I like your hair down.”

CJ smiled, “I’ll see what I can do.”

~§~*~§~*

CJ found Becky in the restaurant, sipping coffee. “Hey – I’m really sorry about last night.”

“Hey – it’s all right... sometimes I guess I can go too far. It’s just that I love you both so much and I figured... never mind, it’s silly.”

CJ sat beside Becky, tilted her face, and said, “You are the bride – you’re allowed to go too far.” Quietly, she continued, “What was silly?”

Something made you go away – kept you away... you said it was work and I know we still talk but I miss you. I figured if you and Toby could...”

“Look at me. I’m sorry. Do you need me here?”

Becky smiled, “I’m pregnant – I can’t go through this without you.”

CJ lost all power of speech. “You’re pregnant. As in with child – really?”

Becky laughed, “Don’t make it sound so unbelievable. David did have something to do with it {maybe}.”

“What about that other guy? The one you wrote me about.”

“David says he doesn’t care. As far as David’s concerned, the child will be a Ziegler – and that’s all that matters. Aren’t you happy?”

“Yeah, of course – I am ecstatic! This little one will be the closest thing I get to a niece or nephew – look at me! I’m so excited I can hardly stand it. You’re going to be a Mama! Okay, take a deep breath and let it out. Listen to me, first, we will get through today. I will go back to California – wind things up there, and be back ASAP.”

“So tell me, how did last night turn out?”

“You just never give up.” CJ laughed, “How was it supposed to turn out. It was all, so...so, set up. No one else I know would put two strangers in one room – with champagne, chocolate sauce and strawberries! You’re unreal...” CJ shook her head, and laughed harder. “ God help me, I do love you for trying.”

“So?”

CJ blushed, “We talked... that’s what strangers do. They get to know each other.”

“There is something there – I can tell – strangers don’t make each other blush!”

“He saved me from Ben... I said things I didn’t expect to, and…”

“Did my brother give you a hard time? I thought you two got along.”

“Now isn’t the time.”

“Now is exactly the time, we have another couple of hours before we have our hair appointments – now, give.”

“He became very protective – almost possessive after Mama died. At first, I didn’t mind – it made me feel safe. Then it became weird. After high school, I left and California was as far as I could go without using my passport.”

“I just had to follow didn’t I?” Becky said sadly.

CJ’s voice hardened, “Rebecca Anne Quinn, listen to me. To have you there was beyond wonderful. However, Ben is why I rarely came home.” CJ finished sadly.

Becky embraced CJ, “Did he ever hurt you?” 

“Threatened me when I came home for the funereal. I didn’t see him again, until he cornered me last night.”

“If he ever hurts you, you’ll tell me right?”

CJ nodded her head, as her voice began to shake. “He told me that, he didn’t want me ‘to feel obligated’ to Toby because you were marrying David. ‘We all know how symbiotic you are...’ I surprised myself. I said, ‘I have a mind of my own, and if it is telling me that Toby Ziegler is one of the finest men I’ve ever met – I trust it.’ Toby overheard, and kicked him out of the rehearsal dinner. Toby offered to help me up to my room – what turned out to be our room! Honestly! There is something there. I will grant you that – but Miss Fix-it – we will figure it out on our own. Do you read me?”

“Yes, ma’am.” 

CJ caressed Becky’s cheek. “I do love you – you know that right?”

“More than words could ever say.” Becky smiled through tears, “The same goes, kiddo – same goes.”

~§~*~§~*

As CJ walked down the aisle, she locked eyes with Toby and smiled. There was no backing out. Tonight, would be unforgettable. Toby liked her hair down. Becky, however, had insisted on a French twist, but conceded to leave a few tendrils and have them curled around her face. With any luck, it was enough.

She wore a classic, royal blue floor length, off the shoulder gown, with matching flats.

CJ surprised herself when the thought of going wherever Toby pointed, was not displeasing. As they recessed down the aisle, CJ smiled shyly as Toby took her hand. “Don’t let Ben near me today.” She whispered.

“Consider it done,” he said once they got in the car. While playing with her loose hair Toby murmured, “I will never let him hurt you – I promise.” Toby smiled, “We are finished with pictures, and they decided on no receiving line... so...”

“Toby! We cannot ditch the reception – you should be ashamed!” CJ laughed heartily, and Toby melted.

“I’m sure I could get my brother, the doctor, to say you should be off your feet.”

“He’s an astronaut!”

“I know he has a doctorate in something. I’m sure he had to study everything... besides, I talked to him earlier.” Toby grinned.

“What about Becca?”

“Don’t worry – you said it earlier – she’s too preoccupied.”

~§~*~§~*

A couple of hours later, CJ found them dancing dangerously close to the fountain. “Ziegler, don’t you dare!” She said with a small smile.

Just then, there was a tap on his shoulder. “Pardon me, Little Brother – but I have yet to dance with the Maid Of Honor. If you’ll excuse us momentarily – we shall return.”

“So, I’m saved by the groom.” CJ laughed.

“How’s your ankle? I don’t want you to overdo.” David beamed.

“It’s a little sore.” CJ said with a shy smile, “I’ll be okay.”

“I think you should take it easy – let someone take care of you.”

“Did you have someone in mind?”

David laughed, “I suppose you didn’t...”

CJ blushed.

“Get going – I’ll tell Becca you had another run-in with water and will catch up with us for breakfast. I love you – take care of each other.”

CJ kissed David on the cheek and whispered, “Becca is very lucky.”

David smiled and murmured, “So is Toby.”

Just then, Toby approached, his arm outstretched, and said, “Miss Cregg – close your eyes, and follow me.”

CJ beamed, “Toby Ziegler, what are you up to now?”

“According to my doctor, about 5’ 10”.” As he took her hand, Toby kissed it gently and whispered, “Do you trust me?”

“Always and forever from now on.”

Then, Becky approached, and linked arms with David. He placed his finger over her mouth, as they watched. 

~§~*~§~*

“Tobias Zachary Ziegler – it’s freezing out here!” 

“Your carriage awaits.”

As she opened her eyes, CJ saw a horse-drawn carriage filled with blankets, and Toby. “Here, let me help you.”

Once they settled, CJ murmured, “It’s beautiful... I don’t know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything.” Toby whispered. “It’s just us all night – and that is all that matters.”

CJ snuggled under the blankets and put her head on Toby’s shoulder. “There. That’s a little better, but...”

“Claude?” Toby whispered.

“My neck is cold.” CJ mock whined.

“Your hair is up, your shoulders bare, and it’s only 40° out here – what do you expect?” Toby laughed.

“I know, but we left so fast I couldn’t get my shawl.” she mumbled.

“What can I do to warm you?” Toby whispered, as he nibbled on her ear.

“Don’t stop what you’re doing...” cradling his face in her hands, she kissed him deeply, “in fact, you could do a little more...”

“If…you had…only worn…your hair down…maybe I could…” as he pulled CJ into his lap, Toby winced, then, just as he began to trace her collar with a gentle caress:

“Sir, we’re here.”

Toby smiled, “Thank you. Here – this is for going out of your way. Happy Holidays. Claude? I need you to put your arms around my neck, close your eyes, and trust me.”

Without hesitation, CJ did. “Where are we?”

“Paradise…anywhere, alone with you is Paradise.” When Toby opened the door to the apartment, he switched on the radio and placed CJ on the sofa. As soft music began to play, Toby extended his hand, “Open your eyes Claude…will you dance with me?”

CJ accepted, and smiled, “The last time we danced, we almost ended in the fountain!”

After kissing each palm and finger, Toby looked at her and whispered, “I had an ulterior motive...”

“I suppose,” she smiled, as Toby kissed her neck, “I am to believe that you don’t now?”

Toby grinned, “It depends... do I need one?” He asked outlining the collar of her dress, with his tongue.

“Oh, God – not if you keep doing that... Toby, the tour... want the tour.” CJ breathed.

“Not yet.” Toby stopped and looked her in the eye. “I need to do this first, say this first. Sit down.” after he led CJ to the sofa, Toby knelt beside her.

“Toby? Ben was right last night – Becca and I always copy each other and this time, it backfired – didn’t it?”

“Claude, sweetheart – nothing backfired.” Softly Toby continued, “You didn’t copy Rebecca. If anything, she copied you. I introduced her to David.

Look at me. Now, last night, I said my dream was to make love to you – with you – the dream hasn’t changed. However, it also means something. I do not intend this to be a one-time thing. You have occupied my thoughts …dreams ever since the campaign. I never thought this day would come. I know your home is in California, but... I needed you to know – I love you – always have.

CJ sank into his arms and cried. “My house, and job are in California – that is true. My home is right here…I may have to go back to work…but I will always come home. I love you more, than I can possibly express. This means something to me as well – I have loved you since that first day. Take me Toby, please.”

~§~*~§~*

“I want you so badly – but I wasn’t expecting anyone, much less you.” Toby blushed. In the center of his bedroom, was a king-size bed. Clothes were all over the floor, and rumpled satin sheets on the bed.

CJ laughed, “You’re mistaking me for someone who cares – all I want tonight is you. I do not care what the room looks like. The idea of sleeping in your sheets – where you dream of me, is so erotic.”

“You... look so beautiful in that dress. The only thing that would make me happier, is to see you out of it...” Toby whispered.

CJ smiled wryly, “What are you going to do? The only one stopping you is you.” Very tenderly, she reached out and untied his bow tie.

Toby smiled, “How do I get you out of this?” He breathed into her ear.

“Oh, I can’t…I can’t think straight... when you do that...”

“While this is very pleasant, and it could go on all night... I can think of much better things to do, and I need your help to do them.”

“Buttons down my back – and Toby, hurry!”

“I want to do this for what reason?” Toby grinned, as he slowly unbuttoned, and kissed his way down her back.

“If... you don’t... I’m going to wipe out. If I wipe out – your luck runs out!” She laughed.

Just then, Toby finished with the last button. He whispered, “I love you, Jeano – turn around.”

CJ smiled slightly, “No one calls me that.”

“It’s mine – you are my Jeano.”

Toby sat on the end of the bed, “Come here, Sweetheart.”

CJ approached, and leaned in for a kiss. “You called?”

“I did.” Toby smiled. Gently, he tugged at her sleeves, and her dress slipped to the floor. “Wow.” As he lay on the bed, Toby pulled CJ with him. “You’re incredibly beautiful – even without the dress – especially without the dress.”

CJ smiled, “You my dear – are completely overdressed. As she made quick work of his shirt and undershirt, she slipped to her knees and began with his belt.

“Jeano! No – don’t, please. It’s not that I don’t want – it’s just...”

~§~*~§~*

“Zack? What’s wrong – tell me.”

“Where did that come from?” He whispered.

“Mine…all mine.” she smiled, as she caressed his beard. “Tell me what’s wrong.”

“Nothing – it’s just I want you, but not that way – not tonight. Does that make sense?”

CJ pulled up beside him and whispered, “Absolutely perfect sense. What did you have in mind?”

Toby took her hands, and pulled CJ directly over him. “First, with you just like this – I want to see your hair come down.” Toby grinned.

With Toby supporting her, she reached up, and unfastened the twist, as hair came cascading down. When she smiled, her hair, surrounded them, and served as a buffer from the outside world. “Your plan in detail, was what?” CJ purred.

As he caressed her face, Toby whispered. “If I knew that you were here for good, my answer would be different.”

“Toby, I…”

“No, listen. If we had all the time in the world, I would welcome the chance to experience,” Toby said, tucking her hair behind her ear, “what you were willing to give” Toby whispered. “However, you leave tomorrow – I have no idea when you will return.”

“Toby...”

Toby pulled her down to his chest, and began to murmur. “Somehow, David and I turned out unlike the other boys. Most of our friends were out to get what they could get as fast as they could get it. Our mother taught us, to treat our girlfriends with the utmost respect. If it was someone we really cared about, we should make her feel cherished and loved. Therefore, when we make love tonight – I want to come with you, instead of because of you – does that make sense?”

“Yes, it does, and I cannot even begin to express, how lucky I feel – how blessed I am, to have found you. It really is a miracle – I always thought that lightning never struck twice... God, I love you.”

Toby began to trace the outline of her features, before drawing her in for a deep kiss. As she gave in, CJ gently collapsed onto Toby, and permitted him to take control. He rolled CJ, so that she was flat on the bed. As he moved his way back to her ear, he murmured, “your permission to explore?”

CJ smiled, “As long as you stay ‘North of the Border’.”

“Or as David would put it, ‘above the blush line’.” Toby began nibbling on her ear and slowly worked his way down, as Toby took time to sample every inch of her. When he finally reached CJ’s breasts, Toby found a strapless, royal blue bra. As Toby leaned into her other ear, he whispered, “at least it’s a front closure.”

CJ smiled, “A last-minute purchase I thought you might like.”

“Oh, I definitely like.” As Toby unfastened the bra, he became entranced, and began to caress her left breast, and then proceeded to suckle her right. CJ, without thinking, placed her hand behind his head and held him in place as she softly moaned approval.

“You are absolutely incredible. I don’t want you to stop, and yet – I want my turn too...” CJ laughed.

~§~*~§~*

“I’m not finished.” Toby chuckled. “Besides, we have all night and until your plane tomorrow. What time is that exactly?”

“I leave at 8:30 p.m.” CJ smiled.

“See? All day...” Toby breathed in her ear.

“Except... we have to... oh, God Toby... meet them for breakfast.”

“If my brother is having nearly as much fun as I am, they will lose track of time – tomorrow is shot.” Toby smiled.

CJ laughed, “I believe you underestimate the power of food, combined with snooping – has over your sister-in-law. Let’s hope David is as good at distracting, as you are,” CJ said, as she caressed his beard. “However, my guess would be when we don’t show up for breakfast, and our suite is empty – Nancy Drew will investigate.”

Toby smiled, “I learned from the best…but we will play it your way. So, Miss Cregg, until then... you are mine.”

“I’m afraid Mr. Ziegler,” CJ said, as she quickly rolled out from under him. “You’ll have to catch me, first!” CJ squealed, as she hadn’t in years, as she disappeared out of the bedroom.

Toby took off his dress pants quickly and wrapped in the top sheet. As he took a deep breath, Toby followed the sound of her voice. 

“Oh, Zachary? You have a beautiful dining room table – do you do much entertaining?” CJ asked with a devilish grin.

Toby entered and croaked, “Probably not the kind you’re talking about... and although I would like nothing better than you to go over it in explicit detail, for me – not tonight. Tonight,” Toby caressed her face, I want you in my bed – where I only dream of...”

“Nice toga.” CJ smiled. “Where did it come from?”

“My bed. Come – please.”

~§~*~§~*

“Toby – I suppose you expected me to make the bed.” CJ asked with a raised eyebrow.

“Or we can go without...”

“We are already going to be ‘going without’ – it will be cold later.” Toby produced the sheets and CJ proceeded to strip the bed – all the while just out of his reach.

Toby laughed, “If you lead me on, the way you led Ben – no wonder he…”

~§~*~§~*

“Tobias Zachary Ziegler! You take that back. I never...” the fire in CJ’s eyes, turned into pain as she grabbed the bedspread, and dashed to the living room.

A few minutes later, Toby entered. He found CJ, wrapped in the quilt and curled on the sofa. Quietly, Toby approached. “Claude, I’m so sorry – I went too far. I’m not sure I can ever apologize enough. Will you forgive to me?”

“I shouldn’t – not after that... I would like it if you called me a cab.” She whispered.

“If that’s what you still want, after we talk – I will. I won’t follow you have my word. However, I would like very much, if you would talk to me. I promised last night, always to pay attention to you and today, to protect you. Just what did he do to my Beautiful Girl?”

Somehow, his willingness to let her go and yet need to understand – put CJ at ease. When Toby sat beside her, she willingly put her head on his shoulder, and began to talk. “After my mother died, Ben became very protective; it felt good to have someone looking out for me. Then it just got weird. I never led him on – you must believe that. He followed me everywhere – including dates. He even...” CJ began to cry.

“Claude – look at me. Did he ever hurt you?” Toby whispered.

CJ shook her head, “He tried, but never succeeded. Last night was the closest Ben had come in a long time. He was telling me to stay away from you. I was ‘too good for you’ and he could ‘make me forget’.”

Toby half smiled, “What did you say?”

CJ grinned, “You overheard the conversation!”

“You need to say it Sweetheart – need to remind yourself – we aren’t all Ben.” Toby whispered, caressing her face.

“I have a mind of my own, and if it is telling me that you are one of the finest men I’ve ever met – I trust it. More than I would ever trust him.” CJ smiled.

“I could never be Ben – would never want to be. Whether or not you believe it – I do love you. I will never let him hurt you and I never meant to hurt you.” As Toby cupped her face in his hands, he whispered. “Allow me to show you, just how much you mean to me.”

“When Becca called me, about the wedding – she mentioned your name. A shiver went up my spine. After I saw you last night, and heard your voice for the first time – the same shiver.” After caressing his beard, she continued, “It’s not the kind of shiver – that I ever want to go away... don’t let it – please?”

“I have you, no one is going anywhere.”

“What about the bedroom” CJ smiled, “and the dining room?”

Toby laughed, “I thought I told you, the dining room is off limits!”

“Oh... all... right!” CJ sighed with a soft smile. “Even if we just explore?”

Toby, smiled and said, “Tomorrow. Come with me... and – I will let you explore to your heart’s content.”

CJ brightened, “You mean, I get a lesson in Toga Removal 101?”

“I do. Come – explore the possibilities.”

~§~*~§~*

As the sheet, dropped to the ground, CJ slowly mapped his chest, with kisses. She smoothed her hand over his right hip, and Toby winced again. “Zack – what did you do?” CJ asked, as she pulled down his shorts to trace the visible bruise.

“It’s an old injury – I must have hit it today.” Toby smiled, “No ‘South of the Border’ remember?”

“I don’t care about that right now – you’re hurt... and I don’t believe for one minute, that you don’t know how it happened!”

Toby gave her, his winning smile. “Will you kiss it, and make it better?”

CJ beamed, “What happened to no ‘South of the Border’?”

Toby said, “Legs and hips, don’t count – it’s what is in between that counts.”

Very slowly, CJ outlined the bruise with her tongue, and then proceeded to kiss it. When Toby could stand it no longer, he melted into CJ’s arms. “Hi.”

“Hi yourself – are you all right?”

“Groovy.”

“Talk to me, Tobus. Now.”

“There really is a scar there – and I’ve forgotten how I received it – I’m not lying to you. Where did Tobus come from?” He smiled.

CJ grinned, “It’s my annoyed pet name. Okay, so there’s a scar how did you get...” quickly, she ran that night’s conversation through her head. “Oh... my... God – Ben hurt you, over me. This is my fault! That’s why you asked if he’d ever...”

“Claudia Jean, I want you to listen to me. This is not your fault. I ignored the one rule, that David and I had – ‘never walk around without a roll of pennies in your pocket.’ I thought I was safe at my brother’s wedding. Ben and I sat together last night…he watched me watching you. Ben said that ‘you were too good for me,’ and to ‘stay away’. He went on to say that his sister was marrying a Jew, but he refused to let ‘his girl make the same mistake’. I refused to comply. When I went to arrange for the carriage this morning, he jumped me.”

You say it’s not my fault, but if I hadn’t been here – nothing would have happened. You…Becca will have a fit.”

“I’m not telling her…it’s family…as Mama would say the only person ‘you will have from cradle to grave.’”

“Toby, he hurt—”

Once again, Toby did the only thing he could to shut CJ up. “You don’t listen well,” he laughed. It’s not your fault I love you – well, maybe that is your fault…but I’m still not telling Becky.” Toby smiled. “Come here, Jeano.” After several minutes of passionate kissing, Toby mumbled, “The special garment has to go – in order for this to be any fun.” Toby smiled and then sobered. “Claude? Look at me – are you sure, this is what you want?”

~§~*~§~*

“Absolutely certain.”

“For me, you have had my heart since the campaign. However, after tonight –”

“Toby?”

“I don’t want to scare you, I mean – it’s only been 24 hours, but... when you get on the plane tomorrow, you take a piece of my heart with you. That scares me.”

CJ held his face level with her gaze. “Look at me, and tell me you believe that the reverse is not true – I don’t think you can. I – that is... oh, God, how do I say this…?”

“Jeano, talk to me – what’s wrong?”

CJ turned beet red. “It’s just that – I never –”

Toby pulled her tight, “I love you no matter what – tell me – please?”

“There have been others since then, but none that I truly loved. I was not a nun, but… I prayed that somehow we would find our way back together.” She looked at Toby and smiled. “It sounds silly – but I saved myself for you.”

Toby chuckled softly, “Why do you think, I’m still single? All of my dates went up against the ‘Mystery Girl Scale.’ No one ever made me feel the way you did – the way you do. There was a part of my heart; you took when you walked out the door. Then, last night I became complete again. I don’t know if I can say this right. The last few years have been hell, because I didn’t know where you were. Now, at least I know where to find my heart – when I need it.”

“Toby... please don’t torture me anymore.”

~§~*~§~*

“Baby, if you think this is torture…” just then, the phone rang. Toby closed his eyes, “There is only one person with such impeccable timing,” Toby laughed.

“Hello?”

“Yes, may I have Toby Ziegler’s suite please?”

“One minute...” Toby placed a finger over her lips, shut his eyes, and in the most annoyed voice Toby could muster, said, “Ziegler – who wants what now?”

“Becca is taking the medicinal part of her shower – I’m about to join her for recreational. I’m sorry, don’t count on us for breakfast...we plan on being otherwise engaged.”

Toby smiled and drew CJ close.

“How is CJ?”

“I haven’t seen her.” Toby laughed.

David chuckled, “You have your eyes closed don’t you? Now, be a good little brother, and answer the question.”

“Extremely beautiful, in my arms, almost naked, and waiting for me... don’t you have somewhere to be?” Toby smiled. 

“I do. I’m off – love each other. I love you – see you later. Give CJ a kiss for me.”

“Strictly platonic, of course.”

“Goes without saying – later Little Brother.”

Toby grinned and hung up the phone. As he kissed her lightly Toby whispered, “He called to back out of breakfast. It seems they found a better offer.” As he gave another chaste kiss on the forehead, he whispered, “That was from David... now, where was I?”

~§~*~§~*

“About to torture me, I believe.” CJ beamed.

Toby grinned, “I have not yet begun to torture – tease, maybe – not torture.”

“Toby, please – I want”

“You think I don’t – I told you earlier, this, you, here – is my dream. I don’t want to rush this – us. If I wake up to empty arms again, I don’t...”

“Toby – Tobias Zachary Ziegler, listen to me carefully. If you are dreaming – I’m having the same dream. One from which I hope I never wake. I’m not leaving – not right now.”

As Toby slowly kissed his way down her body, CJ whimpered. “Scream if you want to, sweetheart – all my neighbors went away.” When Toby reached the garment, he stopped and looked at CJ, whispering, “Do I need anything?”

CJ blushed. “No, when Becca called me about the wedding, I...”

Toby smiled, “Claude?”

“I went on the Pill.” CJ blushed. “If it really was you and we ended here…I didn’t want it to be… latex covered.”

Toby beamed, and after slipping the garment down – moved up to her ear. “Ready, Sweetheart?”

“For the last five years.”

“I love you,” they said in unison, as Toby sank into her, and gently began to thrust. After, a long, memorable night of torture, and morning of ecstasy they came in a rush. Each cried the other’s name.

~§~*~§~*

CJ and Toby returned early, to ensure time for any interruptions they might have while packing.

Toby presented his CCNY sweatshirt “Here.” he said softly, “I want you to have this.”

CJ blushed, “When I wear it, it will be as if you’re holding me. I wish – I had something for you... you’d freeze in my T-shirt…oh wait…my dress…” CJ looked at her shoes, “It can at least be a memory…”

“One of many. That bedspread, is never being washed again – and if you think that I’m changing the sheets any time soon, you’re crazy.”

~§~*~§~*

Though there were plenty of interruptions, CJ and Toby still finished in time for an early romantic dinner. Then, Toby drove CJ to Kennedy, and after buying her a Yankees shirt; accompanied her to the gate to wait.

“This weekend was incredible,” Toby twirled a piece of CJ’s hair, around his finger. “Will you call me?”

CJ laughed her incredible laugh. “Depends...will you answer?”

“Don’t even joke about that – you understand? If I thought my life changed in the 8 hours, we spent together during the campaign... just think what you did to my world in the last 3 days.”

“I... I’m sorry – I didn’t mean it.”

Toby only half smiled, “That better be referring to the statement and not the weekend...”

“Definitely, the statement. How could I possibly mean the weekend – you changed my world too.” CJ softly kissed his cheek, and caressed his beard.

“Here’s my number, call me when you get home – I’m not gonna be able to sleep tonight anyway.” Toby smiled.

Over the loudspeaker they heard: “United Flight, 33, to LAX boarding now.”

Toby asked, “When are you—?”

“I’m not sure – as soon as I can,” she whispered, “I become homesick easily.”

They kissed for several more minutes before hearing: “United 33 to LAX. Final call.”

“I will phone when I’m settled – you’re sure I won’t wake you?”

“Doubtful,” Toby smiled, “Even if you did – what better reason?”

They kissed passionately, and CJ ran for the plane before she changed her mind about going all together.

~§~*~§~*

As promised, Toby’s phone rang shortly after two. “Jeano? Is that you?”

She smiled tiredly, “Yeah – but barely – I miss you. I’m wearing your sweatshirt it’s just not the same. Why can’t California and New York be closer?”

Toby chuckled, “I know Sweetheart, but I don’t believe we have a choice right now.” They talked about anything and everything until finally, Toby noticed the change in her breathing. As he smiled, Toby said, “Jeano? Honey, you need to hang up the phone.”

“Don’t want to... miss you…just talk... Zack…don’t… go… away.”

Toby laughed, “You couldn’t lose me now, if you tried. Now, hang up the phone and we’ll talk tomorrow. I love you, Beautiful Girl.”

“M’kay... love... you... too... g’night Zack.” Suddenly, there was the click at the other end.

Toby smiled, slid down into his sheets, and dreamt of CJ.

~§~*~§~*

The calls continued throughout the week – each one lasting until one or the other fell asleep.

The longer she was in California, the more uptight each one became. David and Becky, who had decided to postpone their actual honeymoon until after the New Year, became concerned.

Finally, there was an intervention of sorts. They invited Toby for dinner, and laid their plan out. David said, “That’s it. You’re miserable....”

“So is Jeannie...” Becky smiled.

“Your solution to this?” Toby said with irritation.

David grinned, “Here is a round-trip ticket – take a few days... go find your heart.”

“Jeannie has no idea,” Becky grinned. “She has a few more vacation days coming... Go – make her happy – please?”

Toby beamed, “I don’t know what to say – thank you both... I – that is we...”

“We know. You’re on the last flight out tonight – hurry or you won’t make it…go get her.” David grinned.

~§~*~§~*

When CJ’s doorbell rang, she stumbled out of bed and to the door, dressed in her Yankees shirt. “Who is it?”

“Excuse me ma’am, but I’m looking for the missing piece of my heart – will you help me?”

“I... Toby?” The door flew open, and CJ was instantly alert. “What are you – how? God, I’ve missed you. Why didn’t you tell me you were coming?” They clung to each other for several minutes before he answered.

“…I haven’t yet. It seems that David and Becky were concerned enough to buy a ticket. David wanted me to find my heart and Becca just wanted you happy. I’m here until Monday. Can you play?” Toby asked with a devilish grin.

“Well, doctor I’ve been shivering, ever since you walked in – any ideas?”

“My favorite game…I’d say complete bed rest, with very close supervision.” Toby whispered in her ear. “Where’s the bedroom?”

CJ took his hands, and walked backward toward the room, afraid that if she took her eyes off him, he’d disappear.

“You realize that in order to inspect the patient – you must be completely naked. I must say, that you are quite sexy in this shirt.” he unfastened each button with care.

“Toby – hurry!”

As he slipped her shirt off, Toby gently pushed her on the bed. “Trust me?”

“Always and forever.”

As Toby nibbled on her earlobe, he slowly caressed and kissed his way down her body. “I have... been dreaming... of you... ever since you left.”

CJ smiled, “Care to share with the class?”

“I know I said that, making love to you never had to involve chocolate or strawberries – yet, when I shut my eyes – all I can see, is you covered in chocolate waiting for me.”

CJ smiled softly, and whispered, “Do we still have to stay ‘above the blush line’?”

“I’m afraid so…”

“Tobias Zachary Ziegler!”

“This is something you don’t seem to understand. I want you so much that way right now. It hurts. However, to me, that is the ultimate act of love and giving of oneself to another. When the time comes, it will be because you have come home for good.”

CJ smiled to herself, “You are awfully confident, aren’t you?”

“One of these days, you will realize that there are two ways for that to happen.”

“Tobias Zachary Ziegler – look at me. Do you mean to tell me – that if asked – you’d move here?”

“I’ll not rush you... I do love you – more than I can ever consider putting into words…”

“Look at me – I love you too... for so long, I was used to having you only in my fantasies – it’s just going to take me awhile... it’s only been a week – a very intense, wonderful week – can you wait a little longer? Please – do I have to beg?”

Toby laughed, “Wouldn’t hurt! No, of course not – I’m yours.”

CJ smiled, and whispered, I want you any way, I can get you.”

“Do we have to leave the house?”

~§~*~§~*

Just then, there was a knock. CJ threw on her robe, and went to answer the door.

“Hey – you’re not ready to go.” Carol asked. “We have that early morning meeting – remember?”

“Something came up. Could you tell them that I have a fever? I don’t think it’s a very good idea for me to be around people.” CJ smiled shyly.

“You know I will – but you also know you can’t lie to me – what’s going on?” Carol smiled.

“Come in – but just for a minute... Toby? There is someone I want you to meet.”

“Hey.”

“Toby Ziegler, this is Carol Fitzpatrick. Carol this is...”

“The cause of your fever,” Carol smiled. “You must be why CJ has been in a fog for the last week.”

CJ and Toby shared a smile.

Carol felt CJ’s head. “Yeah, you’re burning up. It’s a good thing you’re here, Toby. She’s going to need someone to take good care of her. See you on Tuesday.” Carol leaned in to CJ’s ear, whispering, “I want details. Remember, the Sisterhood.” As Carol went out the door, she called over her shoulder, “Later. Nice to meet you Toby.” 

~§~*~§~*

“So, in answer to your question – I guess not.” CJ smiled.

~§~*~§~*


	4. Beginning, The

Part 4 

Toby whispered, “What I really want, is to hold you. I still can’t believe I’m here.”

“I can’t either. I’ve been lost. I live for our calls. That sounds pitiful I know, however...”

“Oh, my Beautiful Girl, I want you to listen to me. You don’t sound pitiful.” Toby smiled, “Any more than I do for admitting the same thing. Our worlds shattered five years ago. Now, magically, they have come together. It’s going to take time – but I am willing if you...”

“Do you know how close I was to not getting on that blasted plane? If you had only caressed my cheek, or said my name one more time...”

“Oh, Sweetheart... I’m sorry. I never meant to say, that is to insinuate that – let’s not fight. Not now – please. We’re together, and that’s all that matters – right?” Toby smiled.

CJ nodded. “Is there anything you want?” She smiled.

“I can think of several things....”

CJ grinned, “May I interest you in what is under the robe?” she asked seductively.

“I thought you would never ask.” Very slowly, Toby untied the robe. “Is it all right with you, if we work our way up to dessert?” Toby smiled.

“Life isn’t too short?” CJ laughed.

“We have all time in the world. Remember, you are mine.”

“Yes, just the thought of being all yours... if only for the next four days... I can’t find a word adequate enough to describe how I feel.” CJ grinned, “I take it, that you are mine as well.”

“For as long as you will keep me.” Toby smiled.

“Oh, trust me – you’re not getting away easily. First, however, rest, and while you do that – I’m going to soak in the hot tub.”

“The thought of you, naked and submerged in bubbles is supposed to make me rest, how exactly?” Toby asked, as he kissed her neck. “I have always loved the sight of you freshly soaked.” He pouted, “Besides, I had a long flight...”

“Just rest.” CJ smiled, “I won’t be long.”

“You are cruel.” Toby murmured.

CJ grinned, kissed him tenderly, and headed to the bathroom. “Be back soon.”

Toby mumbled something about the good old days of the girl’s locker room, and peepholes as CJ’s grin widened. 

“Just rest.” A few minutes after CJ slipped into the bubbles, she slid down and relaxed into the jet stream “To—by To—by!”

~§~*~§~*

Toby entered, and smiled on the inside, as shortly thereafter, she hit her peak. He whispered, “Hey.”

CJ blushed as she stood. “I was lonely. Would join me in the pool?” CJ smiled. “I’ll help you undress, if you’re too tired.”

“Too tired... very tired... need help badly.” Toby whispered. 

CJ reached out, and slowly, but gently, unbuttoned his shirt. She laughed, “Don’t you ever go without a T-shirt?”

“Only when I plan on being around a beautiful woman for four days... the good news is, I didn’t have time to pack.” Toby smiled, as she pulled the T-shirt over his head, and slowly mapped her way down his chest with kisses. As his pants and boxers dropped to the ground, CJ slowly pulled him toward the pool.

~§~*~§~*

“Tell me something.” CJ cocked her head to one side.

“That something would be?”

“David referred to you as a curmudgeon – but they usually don’t smile. That’s not you.”

“Before the wedding, I didn’t. Ever since the rehearsal dinner, I haven’t been able to stop.” Toby couldn’t help smiling. “It’s ruining my reputation, and I could care less.”

She laughed, “FYI, I cleaned the pool yesterday, so...” she put her head on his shoulder.

“I want to finish that sentence – very slowly. Do you understand me?”

“I do – thank God. I think we will generate our own heat – don’t you?”

“I do...”

“Now, as you always say ‘close your eyes and trust me.’” After giving him a kiss, CJ went to the other end and slid in. “Okay, Zack – open your eyes.”

“Claude, the pool – it’s huge – and you are so...”

“Beautiful? Sexy? Far away?” She laughed, “Come and get me, Mr. Ziegler – no fair walking!”

“I’m tired...”

CJ smiled, “You just want me to get my hair wet again!”

“I love you freshly soaked...” Toby grinned. “I will make sure that you aren’t hurt – I’m always here to protect you, remember that.”

CJ gently launched herself across the pool, and into his waiting arms. “Hey – you really are here... I still can’t believe it.”

“What can I do to make you believe?” Toby mumbled in her ear, as he gently rolled her over.

“Zachary! Oh…don’t…stop!”

Very slowly, he began kissing and licking his way down her neck. Once reaching her shoulders, he stopped – just for a minute – to breathe her in.

“Zack? Are you too tired for this, baby?”

“Don’t be ridiculous – I’m tired – but never too tired for you.”

Just as CJ began to relax again, Toby slipped down on to her breast, and began to suckle gently, before sinking into her and mumbling, “Ms. Cregg, you are mine…”

After a few minutes, CJ came, screaming, “To—by!”

A few minutes later, Toby followed – her name on his lips was music to CJ’s ears. “Do you believe now?”

“Oh yeah...”

~§~*~§~*

They lay there, in silence for several minutes. CJ whispered, “What’s next?”

“Well, we could stay here, or we could go inside – rinse off – and start over in bed.” Toby smiled.

CJ stretched slowly, “I do have fresh satin sheets...”

“By all means, lead the way.”

~§~*~§~*

Their platonic shower soon turned steamy. When the most innocent of touches turned erotic, they came screaming each other’s name. 

As Toby caressed her face, he whispered, “There is no one who has ever done that to me – except you. Just hearing you gasp or giggle, makes me excited.”

“Follow me, Mr. Ziegler and I promise you more of the same.” They wrapped each other in towels, and headed for the bedroom. After settling on the bed, the phone rang. CJ smiled, “Like you – I know one person with this sort of impeccable timing.” CJ laughed and continued, “Strangely enough, they’re related.” CJ reached for the phone, “Hello?”

“Hey Jeannie, it’s me – did our cheer up package come yet?”

CJ suppressed a laugh, and covered Toby’s mouth. “Twice in the last hour, if you must know. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have to recuperate. Thank you both – I love you, more than words

Becky blushed furiously,“…Right no problem.” Before she could hang up, Toby grabbed the phone and grinned, “Hey Becca? Thank you and Astro, for everything – I found it. I’m coming again soon, bye.”

~§~*~§~*

Several days passed, and they rarely left the bed – except in search of food. They decided, that as tempting as it was, ‘dessert would wait’ because it ranked right up there with going ‘below the blush line’. Fantasy was one thing, reality right now, completely different.

Shortly before Toby was to catch his plane he said, “I have a question.”

“With any luck, I have an answer.” CJ smiled.

“If I asked you to come with me…” Toby studied his shoes and breathed, “Would you?”

“Toby...”

“I know. It’s been a little over a week. However, Claude – I… I’m a speechwriter, damn it! I can’t find the right words to say what I need to – you mean so much, make me feel things I haven’t in years... I–”

Just then, they made the final call for his flight.

“Damn airline” giving her kiss, Toby whispered, “I’ll call.”

~§~*~§~*

CJ waited for the phone to ring that night. It didn’t. There was no call from Becca. {That was a good sign.} She finally called the airline; the plane had arrived – on time. {Why didn’t I answer? I made him doubt my love.} If there was one thing CJ didn’t doubt, it was her love for Toby Ziegler. However, the thought scared her. {If I’m going to New York to be near Becca, that’s one thing, however, going to be with Toby was comp – unbelievably wonderful. It is going fast, true. Toby is who I want... just what is keeping me in California?}

The next night Toby’s phone rang. A cantankerous voice answered, “Ziegler – who wants what now?”

“You never asked.”

“Claude... I’m sorry, I just – I was gonna—”

“Just ask me Tobus.”

“I love you – will you come to New York, and make me the kind of man I need to be?”

“I will... can’t promise when – but I will...”

“I love you, Claudia Jean.”

“I love you too, Tobias Zachary, more and more every day.”

~§~*~§~*

As time progressed, David watched his wife and brother go insane – without their needed cure. Finally, one day at work – he picked up the phone.

“Jeans, it’s Astro. Becca and Tobs are going slowly, bonkers. You are the only one, who can solve the problem – I’ve done all I can do. Make the needed calls and I will cover everything.

A ticket will be waiting for you at LAX on December 23 – it’s Toby’s birthday, as well as the last day of Hanukkah, and I can’t think of a better gift.”

“I don’t get a say in any of this?”

“You have. Said you would come – now get here and stop being scared. You’ll have one night with Toby, and then surprise Becca for Christmas Eve – be a sport... help me out here.”

“You have a deal.” CJ smiled, “Will you at least pick me up at the airport? You’re right, I am petrified, and not of Becca.”

“He loves you...”

“I know, and the feeling is mutual – that’s not enough reason?” She laughed.

“It’ll be fine – you’ll see.” David smiled. “Love you – thank you – see you soon.”

~§~*~§~*

The 23rd arrived, and CJ found herself on an early morning flight to New York. The plan was, to be in the apartment, and settled by the time Toby returned home.

Later, that afternoon, David called Toby’s office. “Hey. I have a surprise for you waiting at the apartment – Happy Birthday, Little Brother” there was a click before he could respond. Toby gazed at the receiver and decided to head home. He entered, and stared in amazement. There was a trail of women’s clothes, leading from the front door to his bedroom. When Toby arrived, he found CJ, dressed only a skimpy bra, and underpants, lying on the bed.

“Happy Birthday, Zack.” CJ reached for his hand, and asked softly, “Do you feel like going ‘South’?”

As Toby sank on to the bed, he cupped CJ’s face. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“David called. He wanted it to be a surprise a combination birthday and Hanukah present. You and I have until tomorrow night when we surprise Becca. Until then…”

“This is for David.” Toby said sadly.

“Listen to me, I love you – and that thought scares me to death... I would have arrived with or without David’s call – but he made it financially possible faster.

Look at me; I’m home.”

As he caressed her face, Toby whispered, “For good? You won’t disappear after the holidays...”

“That would be correct – you, my dear Tobias – are stuck with me.” She pulled him into an embrace, and whispered, “I couldn’t think of a better place to be stuck.”

~§~*~§~*


	5. Beginning, The

Part 5

After a deep, smoldering kiss, Toby whispered, “Neither could I. What do you want Claude?”

“Whatever you have to give... since it’s your birthday, I believe you should choose.” She giggled.

“They always say that the best gift – is one you’d want to receive yourself.”

“Zachary? What are you up to now?”

“I told you – about 5’ 10”.” Toby laughed. “Now, close your eyes – I’ll be back.” When he reemerged, Toby whispered, “It’s up to you – which way do you want me to cross the border?”

CJ gasped, “I know I said whatever you want – I lied, just hold me. I missed you.”

Toby smiled as he settled on the bed. “Is this one of those times that you don’t want me to listen to you?”

“Partial hearing loss would be good.” CJ grinned, as she turned to methodically unbutton his shirt. “Tsk, tsk – T-shirts make it difficult for quick access.”

Toby whispered, “If you’d let me know – something could have been arranged. Therefore, I’m completely innocent. However, I see you’ve made my job, extremely easy tonight – which takes away all my fun.”

“Oh, Baby... did you want to unwrap your present by yourself?” CJ smiled, as she got up.

“What are you going to do?”

“This wasn’t really your present... you came home early…do you want it, now?”

Toby slowly nodded, as he watched CJ slip into the bathroom and shut the door. A few minutes later, he heard, “Now be good – and shut your eyes.”

As CJ stood in front of him, she whispered, “Open, Zack.”

Toby’s mouth went dry as he took in the sight in front of him. CJ dressed in a red, lace up bustier with matching panties.

“This would be your present.” CJ smiled seductively, “Do you like it?” She turned around slowly, so he could get the full effect.

“ It’s absolutely stunning. Are you sure I’m not dreaming?”

“This, in fact, would not qualify as a dream – I am here... for good. More than that, I love you. Although I wouldn’t mind you if you took your time, I would like to at least have you touching me sometime before New Year’s.”

“Come here, Jeano...” Toby stood, reverently took her in his arms, and laid her on the bed. After a very passionate kiss, he slowly, began to untie her. As new skin was exposed, Toby kissed, and licked his way down CJ’s body. Once he disposed of the bustier, they locked gazes as he slowly began to remove her pants.

“Oh, my God... Zack – not yet...”

“Claude? What’s wrong, Sweetheart?”

CJ cried, “I know we said... and I told you to choose... but, I’m so nervous – this is such a big step for us... I have never been so thoroughly and completely in love with someone so fast in my life... I will not even try to pretend that I’m ignorant of what we’re about to do, but it’s never had the same meaning… To be quite honest, the only way I ever survived my end was to pretend it was you... now it’s real... and my life – our lives are about to change – forever.” 

“SShh, it’s all right – just you in my arms... knowing that it’s for more than a night, or weekend is enough right now. We have all the time in the world. Look at me – I love you... you love me, and it will happen. Let’s go back to the original plan, and hold each other.” Toby smiled, “I can kiss too, right?”

“I’d be offended if you didn’t...” she whispered.

~§~*~§~*

Just then, the phone rang. Toby laughed, “I’m going to kill him. David? Could you pick a worse time to call – I was right in the middle of…”

“Toby? It’s Becca – David is still at work. Did I call at a bad time?”

“No Becca, I was just in the middle of… playing with my present from David.”

“I was wondering if we could draw you out for dinner. Please? I think we both could use it.”

As he covered CJ’s mouth, he said, “I’m sorry Honey, not tonight. I know it’s been rough...I tell you what – you let me stay in and play tonight, and I’ll be over tomorrow, I promise.”

“You have a deal – we can even call Jeannie... find out when she’s coming next.”

Toby twirled a strand of her hair around his finger whispering, “Yes, Honey. We will. See you tomorrow.” Toby hung up the phone, and smiled. “That was Becca – she wants to know, the next time you’re coming.” He whispered, “So would I... as I recall, all it takes – is a kiss.”

~§~*~§~*

“Well, what are you going to do?” CJ smiled. “Because right now, my dear Zack – it’s not going to take long at all.”

Toby grinned, and breathed into her ear, “I love you...” slowly, he kissed his way down to her mouth. After outlining, her lips with his tongue – she granted him entry and he explored thoroughly.

CJ moaned, from a place deep inside her.

When Toby looked up, he saw tears streaming down her cheeks. “Claude – what’s wrong? Talk to me please? Come here, sshh – you’re okay. Talk to me.”

“I feel like the biggest tease in the world – you must understand something. Never in my life have I run to something, it was always away. The fact that has changed and I have changed so quickly, in such a short time, scares me. In a good way.”

“Jeano?” Toby smiled.

“Another few seconds, and I would have come... but I...” She held his face in her hands. “First, I wanted to do this” CJ rolled Toby on his back. After kissing his eyes shut, she slowly worked her way down his body. “I have missed you... us.”

“You don’t have to do this.”

“Yeah, I do. Not for the reason you think – you need to understand, I’m here because I need you. It wasn’t David’s call, or even that you asked. It’s because I am not me without you. You said once, that I took a piece of your heart when I first left. Every time we are together, I lose a piece of myself to you. I am only complete, when we are us.” As she removed his shorts, she kissed his scar. After several minutes, CJ whispered, “Zack – I’m home.”

Soon, he came and pulling her up for kiss whispered, “I love you – welcome back.”

~§~*~§~*

“God, you are beautiful and now, it’s your turn.” Toby whispered.

“I want you so badly – but can you start from the top please?”

Toby smiled, “You realize, that if I start over – it could take longer?”

“I’ve wanted you – this – for five years. If you think, I was responsive before– just wait.”

He breathed into her ear, “Slow and steady wins the race?”

“Oh, God – yes!”

Very slowly, and methodically – Toby began his torturous journey down her body. “Suppose I...tell you... that all your... voicemail messages are saved... and that when...” he reached her breast, and latched on as if his life depended on it.

“Don’t stop Toby – please – I need you... this so much!” CJ held his head in place. Once he finished, she whispered, “You were saying.”

“I was saying, that whenever... I can’t sleep... or, I just need to hear your voice... I listen to them.” Then, he whispered, “Look at me, Beautiful Girl.”

CJ’s eyes fluttered open, and found Toby outlining her pants, with his tongue. “Are you ready?”

CJ nodded, and said a silent prayer of thanks, as Toby did away with her underwear. Gently, he covered that area with kisses – and continued to move south.

“Toby!”

He smiled, and laughed softly, “Did you not say this was my birthday and that I could choose? Did you not agree that slow and steady wins the race?”

“It is, I did, and you’re right – it’s just... tell me what you do, when you listen to my messages...”

He smiled again, “Patience…just think of my kisses as the water lapping against you in the pool.” Very slowly, he began to work his way up her inner thigh. Just as CJ began to relax, Toby licked her center.

Her eyes flew open, and he realized he had taken her by surprise. “Now, think of the jet stream…relax for me, Beautiful Girl and come…” Gradually, he introduced his tongue and then his beard. After quite some time, she climaxed screaming his name. That glorious sound was enough to make him ready for more.

After pulling himself up to her ear, Toby breathed, “When I listen to your messages, I close my eyes – and, just by the sound of your voice – have the most intense orgasm – until tonight.”

Once she recovered, he brushed up against her center, and whispered, “I’m ready, if you are.”

“I’m always ready for you...”

The rest of the night, and the next day they spent in each other’s arms. Their activities ranged from making plans for that night to making love. Somewhere in there, CJ was able to teach Toby the finer points of entertaining in the dining room.

~§~*~§~*

Later that evening, Toby and CJ headed for Becky and David’s. After he parked at the corner, Toby said, “I want you to get out here. Just in case Becca sees me drive up, I’d rather she not see you. You have the plan right?” He smiled.

“Of course Pokey” she grinned as he blushed. Are you sure she has no clue?”

“Absolutely certain... now shoo, Beautiful Girl... I love you.”

“I’m going... and I know, as you have said it quite a few times in the last 24 hours... but, Heaven help me, I love you too.”

~§~*~§~*

Toby knocked on the door, and entered. “Anybody home?”

Becky entered from the kitchen, “Tobs! You made it – I’m so happy to see you. You doing OK?”

“As well as can be expected – all things considered.” After hugging her Toby continued, “Where’s David?”

David appeared, laughing, “Right here – being dragged into this Christian holiday kicking and screaming – same as you.” As he kissed Becky on the cheek, “and I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Have you heard from Jeannie?” Becky asked.

“Just a little while ago, I told her, that you were feeding me and would call tonight. She said to use her cell. She’s having dinner out.”

David wiped his face, to keep from laughing. “Why don’t you call Sweetheart? Before dinner.”

~§~*~§~*

“Hello?”

“Jeannie, it’s me – Merry Christmas!”

“Becca! You too, I’m almost home – what’s up?”

“When am I going to see you again?”

Suddenly there was a knock at the door.

Toby and David were nowhere. “Damn – hang on... I’m not expecting anyone – who on Earth...”

“I’m home.” CJ grinned as David and Toby reappeared.

Becky dropped the phone, and fell into her arms. “You’re home. Really? When – how – I don’t understand.” When she turned to David and Toby, she saw them smiling. “You – both of you did this.”

“Sort of,” Toby said as he approached and kissed CJ. “My birthday/Hanukkah present is your Christmas present...”

“You were playing with...! Tell me I didn’t do what I think I did yesterday!”

CJ and Toby beamed, while Becky turned bright red.

~§~*~§~*


	6. Beginning, The

Part 6

CJ leaned into Becky’s ear, “Trust me when I say, if you had called a few minutes later – it would have been worse.” CJ smiled and continued, “Come on, I’ll help you with dinner.”

“Right behind you – don’t touch anything.” Becky laughed. As she went to David, she gave him a kiss. “Thank you – I love you more than words can ever say” to Toby, she whispered, “So you had a good birthday?”

Toby beamed, “Very satisfying. Thank you – I owe you. Now – get... I believe you have some catching up to do.”

“I do, if you’ll excuse me.” As she walked in to the kitchen, Becky said, “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

“I’m stirring – I can stir.”

“You can barely boil water.” Becky laughed, “Now, sit – I believe you have something to tell me.”

“Me? What on Earth...”CJ asked innocently.

“First and foremost, both of you have been basket cases since the wedding. My brother-in-law, said that his birthday was ‘very satisfying.’ I’ve obviously called in the middle of something…more than once; Toby hasn’t smiled this much in years, and you’re glowing.”

“You’re right. There was something that sparked at your rehearsal... and then...” CJ blushed.

“Then? You are leaving me there... that’s just not fair – this is me! Talk – now.” Becky smiled.

“...Your wedding night... Toby was gentle, loving, and oh so sexy. That night, was absolutely amazing...”

“...Yes, yes it was...”

“When I asked him where we were... Toby told me Paradise.” CJ smiled shyly.

Becky shook her head; “You two are hopeless...” she smiled.

“I told him about Ben, because he wanted to know. It seems that Ben jumped him, at the... Oh, damn.”

“What are you talking about?”

“I wasn’t supposed to tell you.”

~§~*~§~*

“Too late for that,” Becky said, taking the pot off the stove. “Enlighten me, just what has my sainted brother done to my family now?” Becky asked, as her voice hardened. “First, he tried to threaten you and now, he’s hurt Toby!”

“What’s going on?” David asked as he entered, with Toby on his heels.

“That’s what I’m trying to find out. It seems that Benjamin has been up to his old tricks.”

“Dear God – what has he done now?”

As Toby slipped his arms around CJ’s waist, she said softly, “Sorry – I slipped.”

As he kissed her tenderly, Toby whispered, “It’s all right – sooner or later, it would have happened.” In a normal voice Toby continued, “I’m all right... really. Ben knew that there was no stopping your wedding, and wanted to keep ‘his girl’ from making the same mistake. When I refused to stay away, you can fill in the blanks. It wasn’t that bad. David? You remember my scar. That’s where he hit me... Claude saw it and …silly me, I attended the wedding without a roll of pennies.”

“Toby, may I see you in the other room, please?” David smiled.

Toby kissed CJ and followed. “Yes, oh, wise one?”

As David continued to smile, he said, “The scar is ‘below the blush line’... are you trying to tell me that on the second night you …”

“David Nathan Ziegler – you take that back – now – you know better than that. Legs and hips don’t count.”

David laughed, “Oh, they count – you just didn’t want to think about it.”

“I mean it – take it back David or so help me...”

Just then, CJ entered. “Zack, what’s wrong?” After taking his hand, she led him to the sofa.

“David Nathan Ziegler, what did you say?” Becky asked harshly.

David observed them and whispered to Becky, “Watch this.”

~§~*~§~*

“Zack? Talk to me. What happened?” CJ kissed his palm. “It can’t be that bad.”

“He said that you... and I... didn’t stay North of the Border, as long as we did... that I took you South that first night at the apartment...”

“Look at me. I knew what I was doing…”

He leaned in to whisper, “That, Beautiful Girl is the understatement of the year. “

CJ blushed, “Zack, look at me. Is David telling the truth?”

Toby drowned in her eyes.

CJ held his face in her hands; “We are the ones who decide what is right and wrong for us. Did anything that night feel wrong to you?”

“God, no.”

“Does the truth matter to anyone but us?” CJ soothed.

Toby shook his head again, and said, “But he insinuated that…”

CJ glanced over at David, and smiled. “Look at him – do you think, he said it for any other reason, except to pull your chain?”

Toby shook his head again. “I was just…”

“You were protecting me – I know, Baby... and I love you for that, among many other things.”

~§~*~§~*

The concession to the evening would be that David and Toby stay home and play Chess while CJ and Becky went to midnight Mass.

Upon returning, they went into the bedroom briefly. Becky bent, and grabbed a bag. “Here. Consider it a Christmas present.” Becky grinned.

As she looked into the bag, CJ beamed, “Becca!”

She laughed, “It’s left over from David’s Hanukkah present... I bought an extra – just in case.”

“So, our good Jewish boys, like this, do they?”

As she leaned over, Becky smiled, “Find out how much.” She then walked into the living room. “Hey guys. Who’s winning?”

~§~*~§~*

“Zack... Becca gave us a present...”

“Jeano...so did David...” Toby smiled, as they got into the car. “Close your eyes, and be a good girl.” A few minutes later, Toby whispered, “Keep your eyes shut, put your arms around my neck – and trust me.”

“Always and forever.” A few minutes later she asked, “Where are we?”

“Paradise… patience, Beautiful Girl…we are in Paradise…Merry Christmas, Claudia Jean... I love you... now, open your eyes.”

“Toby! How did he... on such short notice?”

“David has a friend in Reservations…we are here all week.”

He and CJ stood, in the middle of a Waldorf Towers penthouse. “David tried to get us into the Astoria, but they were booked… we have more furniture.” Toby smiled.

“Are you thinking of entertaining in the dining room, Mr. Ziegler?”

“Anywhere you desire, Miss Cregg.”

“If we are going to do this, I want it right. I need someone with a very gentle touch, to help me with this zipper.”

“I’ve been told, that my touch is very gentle,” he whispered as he approached. Toby cradled her face in his hands, for a few minutes, and murmured, “I’m never letting you go again.”

As Toby reached the ‘blush line’ CJ whispered, “Don’t you dare stop! My first mistake was to leave you behind.” When she turned, her dress slipped to the ground, leaving her standing in only underwear – if you could call it that.

After removing her bra, Toby became mesmerized. He whispered, “Love those front closures – fantasy must wait – right now, reality is much better.” Toby held CJ in his arms, as he methodically suckled one breast and then the other.

He then sank slowly to his knees covering her stomach in kisses. As Toby reached CJ’s panty line, he looked up at her lovingly and ran his tongue under her waistband.

“Oh God, Toby... you’re not... playing fair – need the bed – please Toby. Need to be able to hold you.”

Toby picked CJ up, and carried her to the bedroom, where she proceeded to slowly undress him. As the shirt was removed, she whispered, “No T-shirt...”

Toby grinned wickedly, “I stayed home, remember? Moreover, I told you, as long as the plan includes being around a beautiful woman... something could be arranged.” 

They kissed deeply, and as his pants slipped to the ground, CJ’s eyes widened. “Oh... Toby!”

“Let me repeat this” Toby said with a smile, “There are benefits to not going to Mass. In addition, beginning now, there is a no underwear policy for the next week,” breathing into her ear, Toby continued, “at least. Now, Beautiful Girl…it’s time your wardrobe was brought up to code…”

The next hour or so, was spent in each other’s arms, doing everything that they imagined since they were on Becky’s couch. It’s strange, what a simple caress could do.

~§~*~§~*

After they recuperated, CJ laughed, “Now, who gets his fantasy first?”

“Well,” Toby murmured, “considering that it’s your holiday… why don’t you go first…but, may I just hold you for a while?”

“Are you all right?”

“Yeah, I just still can’t believe – that this is real.”

CJ laughed, “Last night, this morning and just now weren’t real enough for you, eh?”

“It’s not that. Well, okay maybe a little – it’s just that so much, was like living out a dream for me. Only, when I wake up, you’re gone.”

“If only I hadn’t run. Do you know that I can still shut my eyes, and feel the touch of your lips – all those years ago? Baby, if you trust me, I promise never to run again.”

“Oh, wait! I almost forgot. Toby retrieved something from his pocket …this is from David.” After Toby handed her the envelope, CJ read:

Jeans,

Thank you, for making Toby and Becca so happy… The effect you have on them is amazing to watch.

Loving you forever,  
David

~§~*~§~*

CJ began to cry, as she held it to her heart.

“Jeano? What is it – did he upset you?”

CJ shook her head, and proffered the note. After reading it, Toby gathered her in his arms. “SShh, Sweetheart it’s ok…it’s all right – I never like to admit David is right but he is in this case. Since Thanksgiving, we’ve learned there were other things besides work. While it’s true – I spent a lot of time thinking about you, in general, family became important again...

When David and I witnessed the kind of relationship you and Becca have…she’ll do anything to see you happy and you’d bend over backwards to fix broken fences…we realized what we’d lost…we have agreed to try to be the brothers we once were to each other. 

You are responsible. Do you understand? First, you gave my heart back and now my family…I love you so much and for so many reasons, but those Claudia Jean, are at the top of my list.”

CJ cried harder, as Toby chuckled softly, and drew her in for a tight hug. “Cry it out Sweetheart, I’m right here.”

~§~*~§~*

While Toby held her, CJ cried until she slept peacefully. As Toby ran his hand through her hair, he was able to finally believe that CJ wasn’t some apparition that would disappear with the sunrise.

He may have believed, that doesn’t mean, he slept. Toby would much rather spend a peaceful night, watching his angel sleep, then actually sleeping himself – after all, why else did he drink coffee?

~§~*~§~*

“Good Morning, Beautiful Girl.” Toby said with a smile.

CJ stretched, “Good Morning... oh – Toby I – I didn’t mean to fall asleep. Why didn’t you wake me?”

Toby laughed, “We had a long day yesterday, and an even longer night, the night before. You needed to rest. Besides, I enjoyed watching you sleep.”

“You must be exhausted... I’m sorry.”

“Don’t apologize. If it is a choice between you, and empty arms – I’ll choose you every time. Besides, holding you – is the best drug known to man – I may not have slept, but I’m rested. Now, what are the plans for today?”

“We don’t have to leave the room?” She asked with a devilish grin.

“Not unless you want to go somewhere.”

“Are you hungry?” She smiled sweetly.

“It depends... what’s on the menu?”

“Well, I’ll permit you to choose lunch – if you let me pick dinner.” She whispered.

“Are you on the menu?” Toby breathed.

“That’s the special today – how would you like me? Will that be hard to get, over easy or, shall I surprise you?” She purred.

“I love surprises...”

“Now, let me think...” CJ beamed, as her hand slipped down to caress him.

“If you don’t hurry – I’ll change my mind... and you, my dear, will never make it out of this bed.”

“What makes you think I want to…if at any time, you need to change your order – just let me know. I’m very flexible.” CJ gave him a chaste kiss, slipped out of the bed, and disappeared.

As Toby took a deep breath, he threw off the covers, and followed a few minutes later.

~§~*~§~*


	7. Beginning, The

Part 7

He waited patiently in the living room, after throwing on his clothes from the night before.

Toby gaped when CJ appeared. Her hair up in a twist, and wearing the Catholic Girl outfit that Becky had given her. The top tied underneath her chest, and the skirt, especially on CJ, was hardly there at all. As she sat and crossed her legs, it left very little doubt, that the ‘no underwear policy’ had taken effect.

Toby smiled, and approached, “Hello. What’s your name?”

“I don’t talk to strangers,” she whispered.

He caressed her face. “My name is Toby Ziegler.”

“I’m CJ…CJ Cregg.”

“Nice to meet you, Miss Cregg... now that we aren’t strangers, where do you live?”

“I attend Barnard, but they just started to make us wear these stupid uniforms. There is a jacket too, but it scratches.” She smiled shyly.

“What is your major?”

“Communications with a minor in Political Science. I worked on my first campaign today...”

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your friends?”

“No one is around…plus, I bolted. Have you ever kissed someone so hard you actually had a – please forgive me…I’ll be doing Hail Mary’s forever… Why am I here? I have to study – I have two make-up finals when classes resume, and I need to do well on them.”

Toby grinned, “Which classes? Maybe I can help…I’m an excellent tutor.”

CJ smiled shyly, “That’s not necessary – I’ll manage.”

“You’re too beautiful, to be left alone – it’s not safe – please let me help you benefit from my experience.”

“Communications and Chemistry” CJ smiled. 

“Not a good thing, when it’s your major. I was a Communications major too, and Chemistry just requires a little patience and the right partner.” Toby cocked his head, and whispered, “Would you like me to help you?”

“You really wouldn’t mind?” CJ brightened as she uncrossed her legs.

“Not in the slightest. Where to – the library or somewhere private?” Toby whispered as he ran his hand up her inner thigh. “Private places can be so warm and inviting…don’t you agree?”

“MMmm HHmm… but may we stay here for right now? It’s gorgeous.” CJ collapsed on the floor.

“If we stay here, do you promise me to be good later, and study?”

“Am... Always good... Mr. Ziegler.”

“Do you come alone?”

“Yes, Sir...”

“Why did you choose me, Beautiful Girl?”

“I’ve watched you... explain something to a student... hands so expressive... had to meet you... let your hands express to me…” As her hand slipped under her skirt, CJ moaned.

“We are going to perform a Chemistry experiment. Do you trust me?”

“Yes, Mr. Ziegler.”

“Will you do as I ask?”

“Yes, Sir.” CJ nodded.

“Now, in Chemistry 101 the basic equation is: organism + stimulus = reaction.” Toby knelt at her feet, and placed one leg over each shoulder. “Now, first we start with a living organism, for purposes of this exercise, that would be you.” He smiled as he took her hands, “If I replace your hands with mine, and then add my mouth, that is the stimulus… will you react for me, Miss Cregg?”

“Only you, I promise – oh... don’t stop… Mr. Ziegler, please – I’m ri— Oh, God!” After catching her breath, she continued, “We could hide for the rest of the afternoon... stay right here…& experiment…we have… several other… theories to test.”

“We could – but right now,” Toby breathed, running a hand along her inner thigh, “we need to concentrate on Communications.” 

CJ moaned, “I’m…most able… that is, I mean…where do you…want …MMmm…oh, God…to take me now?” 

~§~*~§~*

“Well, we could go to your dorm room or, if you trust me,” caressing her side, Toby whispered, “my place.”

“MMmmyy dorm is closed…staying with a friend…Mr. Ziegler, will trust... you... always,” she murmured.

As he brushed her knuckles with a soft kiss, Toby slowly led her to the room. “Now, Beautiful Girl, Communications is really simpler than it sounds. There are five forms, visual, electronic, written, verbal, and nonverbal. An example of visual would be if I took out an ad in the New York Times to declare my love, after meeting an amazingly beautiful woman.” Toby stared at his shoes, but his hand drifted to her upper thigh. “Electronic would be for instance, if I were to send her an e-mail to tell her what she does to me at night.” Toby slowly began trace lazy circles on her leg. “An example of written might be if I sent a letter to said amazing woman instead.” Toby smiled as he leaned over to whisper, “Verbal communication, is, for example, if I whisper in her ear, how totally life-changing she has been for me.” As Toby held CJ’s gaze he said, “The most important is nonverbal. It could be nothing more, then a look, a touch, or even a gesture. It requires both parties be in tune with each other.”

“That’s the one where I get confused.” she breathed.

“Do you want me to explain very slowly?”

“MMmm…yes… slowly…”

“Close your eyes and feel. Sometimes, touch can be the most basic form of communication. Blind people depend on it, to read, walk and sometimes, understand.

Everyday, touch communicates the most basic needs.” Toby traced patterns on her upper thigh and CJ shivered.

~§~*~§~*

“Are you cold, Miss Cregg?”

“MMmmnnoo…don’t let it stop,” she moaned. “…Touch communicates needs…” CJ murmured, as she placed his hand under her skirt.

Toby smiled, and as he slipped to the floor continued, “Also, it can be used to communicate want. Such as, when a child falls, he wants to be held, soothed...” just then, Toby gently kissed her elbows, and kneecaps, “and for cuts to be kissed and made better.”

CJ whimpered, “Touch communicates want...”

“Finally, it can communicate desire… in many different ways.”

“I… want to… understand… all the ways… please, Mr. Ziegler – help me.” She begged.

“I love an eager pupil…and you, Miss Cregg are very eager. The one that we are going to concentrate on right now is the erotic touch. Should we take this skirt off, before something happens to it?”

“Must… take… it off…only one.” She breathed.

As the skirt vanished, Toby smiled and locked eyes with CJ. Slowly, he began kissing his way up her inner thigh. When Toby reached her center, he gently excited her, as CJ moaned in pleasure.

As he placed a finger to her mouth, Toby whispered, “Nonverbal means silent…sshh, that’s my good girl.”

CJ’s mouth slipped open as Toby gently outlined it with his finger, and she began to suck.

Toby moved upward, not ready to end it yet. As he kissed small patterns on CJ’s stomach, Toby ran his hand up her side and felt the sudden intake of breath as he slid into her.

Toby smiled. “Excellent, Miss Cregg…nonverbal communication…Now…” slowly, Toby unfastened her blouse and began kissing the newly exposed flesh. Finally, he latched on to her breast and suckled as CJ quietly let herself go.

“Miss Cregg…you were very good …& just from our session today, my feeling is that Chemistry will not be a problem… “There will be a quiz when you least expect it – just to make sure that you understand thoroughly – you must always be ready.”

“Yes, Sir… thank you for being so thorough...” CJ whispered.

“It’s not worth it otherwise. May I ask a favor, Miss Cregg?”

CJ smiled.

“After your exams…will you be bad for me?”

~§~*~§~*

As CJ caressed his chest, she whispered, “... I can do that, now … some people, claim I’m better when I’m bad. Now, if you will meet me in the library, and pretend you don’t know me, that is where I misbehave the best.” After quickly redressing, CJ slipped out the door.

Toby smiled, as his imagination went wild with possibilities, and followed. When Toby found her on the dining room table, he beamed.

“Oh, hello.” She smiled innocently.

“Hi, who are you?”

“Claudia … you are…?”

“Tobias.”

“Nice to meet you, Tobias … but, you better not hang around… I am in trouble.”

“If you don’t mind, I’d like to stay” Toby whispered into her ear, “bad girls excite me… why are you in trouble?”

“I went too far…”

“Do you like the library, Claudia?” Toby grinned.

“I love it – it forces you to be quiet, concentrate… and provides plenty of room to spread out.” As she proceeded to demonstrate, CJ laughed, and said, “See? There’s plenty of space…no windows…& the door locks.”

“How convenient.” Toby approached, and whispered, “You have very beautiful hair, do you know that, Claudia? It would be even more beautiful down.”

“Do you think so?” CJ smiled wickedly as she released the knot, and her hair cascaded around her shoulders.

As Toby caressed CJ’s neck, he continued, “Now, suppose you tell me how you went too far?”

“It’s kind of hard to explain.”

“Would you prefer to show me?” As Toby cradled her face in his hands, he whispered, “Please?”

~§~*~§~*

“Well…I guess so…when I study – I always perform better, if it’s hands on. I have a final exam in Communications… I think I understand everything, but I wanted to make sure.”

“It’s always good to be certain of these things…that’s my major…may I help you?”

“As I understand it, nonverbal communication can be a look, touch, or gesture.” She took his hands, and placed one on each thigh.

“That is correct.” Toby smiled, as he gently began to caress. “Does this bother you – the skirt, I mean.”

She nodded. As CJ slowly unbuttoned his shirt, she whispered, “You smell good…”

Toby smiled. “Oh, Claudia… that is verbal… show me how good I smell.” Very slowly, Toby unfastened the skirt and began caressing her intimately.

As his shirt slipped to the ground, she covered his neck and shoulders with kisses.

Toby whispered, “You got in trouble for this? Is this all you want?”

CJ shook her head, and brought his hands up to untie her blouse. As it fell to the table, Toby began to nuzzle. With one hand, she held Toby in place when he began to suckle. With the other, she unfastened his pants and began to explore.

“Again, there… is nothing … you need?”

CJ tried to grasp him and move closer to the edge of the table.

“No, Claudia. You are confusing need with desire. Desire is for the bedroom – not the research room. Suppose, I give you another example of need – and then, we can go somewhere more comfortable – and make sure you understand desire. However, this will only be after very thorough review session.”

“Please, Tobias – help me… to understand… the difference,” she purred.

“It’s really just a matter of speed. Need is immediate, while desire can take hours. I suppose, that they are really quite similar,” his voice dropped to a whisper, “Especially if the need is mutual. Do you need me, Claudia – the same way that I need you?”

“Nonverbal… communication... Tobias… must be… shown…”

Toby stooped in front of her, and pulled CJ closer. As Toby’s eyes locked with hers, he whispered, “You are a beautiful girl, and I have needed this… since I first saw you. However, if this is not what you need let me know, squeeze my hand. Once for yes, and twice for no, are we understood?”

CJ nodded her head, and squeezed his hand once.

“That’s my girl…using gestures to communicate.” Toby lowered her to the table gently, sank to his knees, and pulled her closer. CJ squeezed once. As he smiled, Toby began to gently excite her again, when all of a sudden – she squeezed his hand – twice and hard.

Toby’s face fell, “Jeano? What is wrong? I thought you... I never intended to do anything...”

CJ kissed Toby deeply, and after cupping his face in her hands, whispered, “I am of the firm belief, that is true.” CJ smiled and continued, “I was about to show you how I went too far...”

“Yes... you were…”

“Now,” CJ whispered, as she reached inside his pants. “Tobias? I learned to always go after what I need to be happy…” she whispered, as she caressed his groin. After lowering his pants, CJ sank to her knees and ran her tongue around his erection. “This is what I need… do you need me that way?”

Toby grinned.

CJ laughed, “Remember, everyone is gone – so we can make all the noise we want.”

After several minutes of exquisite torture, Toby came, screaming her name. As his breathing came under control, Toby scooped CJ in his arms, and whispered, “Now, we will have an extensive review session in desire… I love you, Claudia – so very much.”

“Does this part have to be fantasy?” CJ whispered.

“No, Beautiful Girl. It will be very, very real.”

“Does that mean that I don’t get an extensive review session?” 

“Your session will be very long and hard – are you sure you’re ready?”

“For you – always,” CJ whispered.

~§~*~§~*


	8. Beginning, The

Part 8

Later, as they cuddled, CJ laughed, “Do you realize that we’ve gone over 24 hours without one telephone call from either Becca or David?”

“I threatened my dear brother, with a dark room, and spotlight if such a thing were to occur.” Toby smiled, as he twirled a piece of hair around his finger. “How is my bad girl this morning?”

“Is she the one that you enjoyed the most?” CJ breathed.

Toby cradled her face in his hands, and whispered, “... I don’t… look at me – if you think for one minute, that I didn’t enjoy – every bit of the last few days, whether real or fantasy, you’re mistaken.”

“I just thought that since… and I… I wanted to prove that…”

“I don’t need you to prove anything… What can I do to get through to you?” Toby fell silent. After a few minutes he whispered, “I’m going to try to say something, and I’m not sure that it will come out right…or, even if you’re ready to hear it…but…”

“Toby?”

“Put your head here, do you hear that? A strong, steady heartbeat – I’ve only really been alive since Thanksgiving. It’s a miracle – you’re my miracle… my gift from God. Do you understand? I love you more than…you said the other night that it scared you how quickly you’d changed…I know the feeling. It scares me how much I want to change….

You will have my love and devotion until the day we die, except… I’ve been a bachelor too long… I’m not sure that I know how to be part of a couple – I want to, more than you realize.

If I ever… hurt you… made you run again, I don’t know what I would do…I wish I could make the kind of commitment to you that Becca has with David…you deserve that and so much more…but…”

“Zack…sshh…I’m here. Right here. I’m not running anywhere except to wherever you are again. You have my heart – my soul…I love you so much that…now you listen to me…I don’t need a ring to be committed. If we weren’t to be, we’d be with other people by now. Since, Thanksgiving there’s only been you… In the last five years, every time I tried to find someone else, it just didn’t work…I felt empty even dead without you. Where’s my smile?”

Toby beamed.

CJ grinned, “Complete with dimples!” after kissing each one, CJ, traced his lips with her tongue.

Toby kissed her deeply, and whispered, “Is my good girl ready for her quiz?”

“I was told… must always …be ready…”

“ That’s true... however… if you know what to expect… and when… it takes away…”

Just then, the phone rang as Toby muttered expletives into her neck. “SShh, it’s gonna be okay – I’ll get this.” CJ murmured into his ear. “Ziegler School for Wayward Catholic Girls, may I help you?”

Becky giggled, “I told you, it would work.”

“It did, very well and …uumm…aahh… oh, Toby… still is…”

Becky flushed, “I’m going now, suitcases are down at the front desk – if you need them – love you.”

“More than –” 

“It’s time for the oral portion of your exam, Miss Cregg…” the line went dead.

~§~*~§~*

“Sounds like Jeannie is getting more action out of that outfit then I did…and I didn’t think that was possible,” Becky said as she slid into the car.

“Oh, now that will not do…” David kissed her, “I make it a policy never to let my brother win…come, let’s have fun catching up. Mrs. Ziegler, you were so good the other night, can you be bad?”

~§~*~§~*

A little while later, Toby laughed, “So, who got the short end of the stick that time?”

CJ smiled, “Becca – that’s all right. She deserves every bit of it,” CJ stretched slowly. “Our suitcases are downstairs. Why don’t we go to dinner?”

Toby pouted. “I’ll have to put on underwear…”

“I won’t tell…”

“I’ll be right back.”

~§~*~§~*

{Paybacks are Hell.}

“Ziegler – who wants what now?”

Toby laughed, “It’s nice not to be on the receiving end for once…”

“Better make it quick, we are getting ready to inspect the flip side of the Catholic Girl outfit – you have three minutes… go.”

“Jeano wants to go to dinner. I need some place romantic – preferably a private room – can I drop your name anywhere?”

“Already taken care of – drop by ‘Windows on the World’ at 10 and be surprised.”

“David, I…”

“Don’t say a word. I’ve never seen either of you this happy…Love each other and enjoy. Philippe knows the plan from there. Oh, by the way don’t worry, suitable attire is in the case – have fun… who knew these girls could be this bad… later, Little Brother.”

~§~*~§~*

Toby called the front desk to request their bags. While he waited, he went to the bathroom to put on a robe. {God, Claude was beautiful, when she slept.}

Just then, there was a knock at the door.

“Here are your bags, Sir.”

“Yeah. Hold on one minute.” Toby got $10 from his wallet, “That’s all – thanks.”

“Toby? Who was at the door?”

“I didn’t mean to wake you... our bags are here… we have to be at ‘Windows on the World’ at 10, all thanks to David.”

“Oh, my… I have dibs on the shower!” CJ said, as she dashed out of the room.

~§~*~§~*

The door slightly ajar, Toby shed his robe, and decided this was better than a peephole. “Young Lady, haven’t you been taught, always to close the door?” Toby asked as he slid in behind her.

“I was taught that doors, are to keep people out... I want you in.”

“Where do you want me?” Toby asked as he ran hands up her sides.

“Oh, Toby…” as she took his hands, CJ placed one on her left breast. The other, she guided down between her legs. “Please…”

“Turn around…” Toby smiled. “If you face this way, then I have both of my hands for this.” He whispered as he caressed her breasts.

“Toby!”

“ Of course, I would never forget that this goes in here…MMmm…perfect fit…”

As one arm slipped around her waist, he began to suckle her left breast, while still massaging the right. As soon as CJ had adjusted to that pattern, Toby slowly began to thrust.

“Toby... the restaurant… must get ready to g…Oohh…To—by.” They gripped each other, shared an explosive release and melted to the floor.

~§~*~§~*

CJ wore an ankle-length, emerald green halter-top, with a slit that went the entire way up her leg. A beaded white silk wrap covered her shoulders, and she wore 6-inch stilettos on her feet.

As they entered, Toby heard, “Siggy! How are you, my Freudian looking friend?”

“Flippy!”

“David told me you’d be coming by with a very spec…Pardon moi…”

Toby grinned, “Philippe Dastier this is Claudia Jean Cregg. Claude, this is Flippy.”

“A distinct pleasure, Claudia.”

CJ blushed, “Merci, Philippe.”

“Sig, here are the keys to the place – compliments of David.”

“Where exactly is this place?”

Philippe leaned in, whispered, “Officially, it’s off-line until the day after tomorrow. So, take your time – it’s an experience. Oh, and I suppose” Philippe gave a good-natured sigh, “if you come back on New Year’s Eve – I will see you get our best table, and the most privacy.”

~§~*~§~*

As they exited the building, a carriage drove up. “Toby Ziegler? I was told you were to come with me – I will take you to the place – I’m a friend of your brother’s.”

Toby laughed, “David has quite a set of connections.”

“I’m Peter Jobson’s brother – my name is Rob, we’re like a fraternity. We will go once around the park. Do you want some hot cider? There should be plenty of blankets – and now, I will shut up.”

“David really loves you – you do realize that right?” 

“Toby! He’s married to my best friend.”

“I don’t mean it that way. He wants you – us to be happy. It’s more than just me, and it’s not because of Becca. Didn’t you tell me that he came after you, the night of the rehearsal? He wants to see you happy. If you make me happy – which you do – that is a bonus.”

As she caressed his face, CJ whispered, “Shouldn’t we be using this time, for another review in nonverbal communication?”

“What do you wish to communicate?”

CJ took his hand, moved it along the slit of her dress, and breathed, “Just how much I want you…were you a good boy…a very good boy?” after making sure they were under blankets, she unzipped his fly. CJ discovered, to her great delight – that the ‘no underwear policy’ was still in effect. 

“We are in public – Jeano…”

“Covered in blankets and fully clothed – no one will suspect a thing. Ask for once more around the park. Please, Baby?”

“Rob? Will you make one more turn around the park – we’re in the middle of ‘a thing.’” Toby smiled. “Now, we were…”

“About to nonverbally communicate.”

~§~*~§~*

“I’m afraid that’s not possible, Mr. Ziegler, you’re here.”

“Oh…” CJ whined.

“That’s ok, the only thing I wish to communicate to you is extremely verbal.”

“Then we were saved by the driver.”

“Do you need saving?” Toby whispered. 

“Not if you are my villain…” CJ said seductively.

Toby smiled, “Thanks Rob.”

~§~*~§~*


	9. Beginning, The

Part 9

Once Toby opened the door, his eyes widened. They were in the planetarium. Purple comforters and pillows lay on the floor with a picnic basket beside them. His unspoken dream was about to come true. He would make love to this beautiful woman under the stars and still not officially be outside. Toby turned to CJ and said quietly, “My name is Tobias and you are coming with me.”

“Excuse me, but I’m waiting for someone.”

“You don’t seem to understand – there isn’t a choice.” With that, Toby threw her over his shoulder and headed for the makeshift bed. Once settled, Toby whispered in her ear, “I will never hurt you. Remember – if you want to stop – squeeze my hand twice. Okay?”

CJ squeezed his hand once, and Toby smiled. “What’s your name?”

“CJ…”

“Oh, a mystery …I love mysteries…gives me something to sink my teeth into. What does CJ stand for?”

“I don’t have to tell you!”

“Oh, so this is the game we play…you don’t have to…but you will be screaming mine by the end of the night...”

“You are awfully sure of yourself aren’t you?”

“In this particular case, I can assure you – you will not be disappointed.” Toby blew in her ear.

CJ swallowed her groan of pleasure.

~§~*~§~*

“What was that?” Toby smiled. “Do I excite you? I think I do.”

“In your dreams!” 

“No…but you can show me what I’ve been missing – what does he call you when you’re wicked?”

“You are an absolute –”

“Tell me your name…CJ is such a ‘good girl name’. However, this is not your average ‘good girl’ dress. This is more of a ‘wicked girl’ dress. You want to be wicked for him don’t you?”

“Of course not!”

“Because you want me now? Crave my touch…” he caressed her sides. Because you know I will take you to the absolute height of ecstasy and be there to catch you as you return?”

CJ repressed another purr.

“HHmm…no bra... and if a truly wicked girl...” Toby roamed under the fabric of her dress and smiled. “No panties either... and so wet... did I do that?”

“Yyoouu…didn’t do anything!”

~§~*~§~*

“Oh, but I did... I can tell...” Toby kissed her neck as he brushed his hand over her right breast and felt it harden. “You’re shivering. It started when I first touched you.” Toby caressed his hand over her other breast. He smiled at her immediate reaction.

“You beast!”

“I can be quite beastly… would you like to see how beastly I can be CJ?”

CJ squirmed.

Toby parted her dress, and began kissing her inner thigh. As his tongue met her center, she moaned in pleasure. Just as she was primed to climax, he stopped.

“Go to He—!”

Toby smiled and crept up to her ear. “Heaven? That was my flight plan for tonight…however, if you want to take off with me, if you want me to be the only pilot certified for flight in your craft – tell me what CJ stands for…” Very slowly, Toby covered her neck with kisses, and outlined her collarbone with his tongue while his hand resumed caressing her intimately. “Tell me…”

“It sta—ands for… To—bi—as!”

“No, Beautiful Girl, that’s my name…I need to know your name.”

As CJ lay spent in his arms she whispered, “Claudia Jean.”

“That’s a very beautiful name... for a very beautiful girl.” Toby took her hand in his and placed it on top of his groin. “Do you feel what to do to me, Claudia Jean? How much I want you? Do you want to go to Paradise with me…where I will lavish all my attention on you? Do you Claudia? Will you come? For me.”

“Yes…”

“What do you want?”

“MMmm... To—by…” she squeezed his hand twice.

~§~*~§~*

“Claude, Sweetheart what’s wrong?”

“I need a little reality... where are we?” CJ snuggled into his arms.

“The planetarium.” He brushed a kiss on CJ’s forehead. “Look, we even have sustenance.” Toby peeked inside. “It looks as if Becky had a hand in packing.”

“Oh, no. Tell me no...”

“There are, in fact, only strawberries, grapes, sandwiches and wine coolers.” Toby smiled.

“Are we taking bets as to whether or not it is in the room when we return?”

“One can but live in hope.”

“Toby!”

“SShh… first, you dressed this way for me didn’t you? Not Tobias, or even some faceless stranger – you wanted me. Needed to be wicked for me, and only me – didn’t you my Beautiful Girl?”

“Yes, Toby.”

~§~*~§~*

CJ placed her hand inside his pants, “Did I really do this to you?”

“Only…you…do this to…Oohh…Claude!”

CJ smiled, “Do you need some help?”

“Help…your help…yes…desperately.”

CJ gently unbuttoned his pants and threw them to the side. Then she tenderly captured him in her mouth. After several minutes of exquisite agony, he whispered, “Claude I’m gonna…” 

As she ran her tongue up the underside of his shaft, CJ breathed, “Feed me.” After a few minutes, he came in a rush, and CJ swallowed.

Once he recovered, Toby said, “You’re amazing…I want…” As he caressed her face Toby whispered, “I want to be wicked too…make you shiver and warm you again…is that what you want, my girl?”

“MMmm HHmm always and forever…don’t ever let me go.”

“Never, I promise. If you help me with my shirt I will tell you my plans.”

Slowly she undid each button, kissing the flesh as it was exposed and taking time to caress every inch of his amazing body. 

“You… were about… to tell me… your plans.”

“Ah, so I was…to touch you all over…hear your screams…see you come only for me…taste your excitement… feel your warmth as I slip inside you and take us to Paradise.”

“Oh...MMmm… how long does this trip take?”

“It all depends on you. We can fly – or take a pleasure cruise.” Toby crept to her ear and whispered, “With you, I’ve always dreamt of a private cruise. Where we stop in all our favorite spots and take our time. Would you like that Beautiful Girl? Does it sound exciting?”

“MMmm HHmm ... Want to… come with… you.”

“Oh, you will…I promise. However, first you must surrender to me. Do you trust me Claude?”

CJ mumbled something incoherent.

“Jeano – Baby what’s wrong?”

“I don’t like to surrender – it scares me. In real life, it scares me.”

~§~*~§~*


	10. Beginning, The

Part 10

“Claudia Jean Cregg – look at me... I will not hurt you – ever. Don’t you believe me?”

“I want to... so badly... but – with Ben…”

“I’m missing something... you told me he never hurt you!”

“What I said was he ‘never succeeded’... hold me, please.”

Toby placed her head on his chest, and caressed CJ’s hair. “Go on, Beautiful One. I’m listening.”

“We were alone in the house. Ben cornered me in my room. He said that I teased him long enough and it was time to surrender... he unzipped his pants, and hiked up my skirt… if Becca hadn’t come home when she did…”

Toby held her tightly as tears flowed. “I’m right here... never letting go – you’re safe. Cry Sweetheart, that’s my angel.”

As her tears stopped, she continued, “I want you so much... want to go wherever you will take me... but I can’t surrender. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Baby I do. However, will you trust enough to let me take you on an unforgettable journey.”

“I want to, but...”

“We have all the time in the world Claudia Jean. I will go very slowly. We will stop, if you need to, I promise. I would never do anything you didn’t want me to do – you’ll be in control.”

~§~*~§~*

CJ smiled, “You definitely aren’t Ben.” Slowly, she lifted her head, and drowned in his amazing chocolate eyes. “When I look at you, how can I not trust?”

He rolled off CJ and whispered, “I’ll be right back.” Toby then proceeded to dress, while leaving the shirt open.

CJ stared. “Toby? What’s wrong?” 

“My beautiful, amazing girl – I didn’t want to be tempted... look at me Claude.” As he took her head in his hands, he gazed into CJ’s eyes, and continued, “Unless that’s your plan – you once told me that I was the only one you wished wouldn’t listen. Are you tempting me?”

CJ smiled, “Maybe... what do you think?”

“I think, even without trying – you’re succeeding… do you want me to be wicked for you... Tell me.”

“ I was taught that ‘… if you know what to expect… and when…’” 

“Does this mean you’re surrendering?” Toby smiled.

~§~*~§~*

“Semantics... if I do it willingly, it’s submission.” CJ smiled, “Now,” taking his hand, she placed it at the slit of her skirt. “Take me, Toby… I want you to be wicked... but slow... and talk to me... because as long as it’s you, I’m safe.”

“I’m sorry... but we’ve always agreed – ‘no dessert first’. Roll over. That’s it... Now, I believe I promised to touch you all over... didn’t I?”

“You did...”

“Claude... your dress, it’s...”

CJ smiled, “The word you’re looking for is backless.”

“That would be the one...did you know, that in the right circumstances, the most innocent touches can be erotic?”

“Really? That’s {deep breath} fascinating.”

He traced the outline of her back with his finger, and followed with a trail of kisses Toby proceeded to cover her back that way. Once he reached the small of her back, the kisses turned to licks. He then switched positions, so he could slide his hands around to her chest where he gently caressed her breasts. “It’s me – only me... just relax into my touch…that’s my good girl.”

After several minutes, CJ moaned. “Lower – don’t stop there...”

Toby kissed his way up to her ear, “Not yet.”

“Toby?”

“I categorically refuse to go South of the Border, until I’ve seen all of you... do you understand me? It’s not don’t want to, but...”

“Toby? There’s a hook on my left hip, and if you unfasten my halter... I...” She could feel Toby smile against her back, and wished she could see his dimples. As both catches released, CJ felt the dress fall to her sides. After stretching, she rolled over and whispered, “Hey, Handsome... I thought you were going to be wicked…”

Toby Ziegler was speechless. “…I thought that you were beautiful in that dress – now, you’re breathtaking.” He smiled, “I was right put my clothes on... I couldn’t be wicked – yet...”

CJ smiled.

“Would you like to explore, Ms. Cregg?” 

“Later, right now – I’d much rather have you kissing me.”

As CJ changed her mind and reached for his chest, Toby tickled her. “You had your chance, Miss Cregg – it’s my turn…you’re going to like my turn.” 

She landed on the pillows laughing Toby loosely grabbed her arms. “Say the word, and I will let you go.” 

CJ nodded. Her giggles soon turned to moans as Toby began to kiss her. He started with her eyes, and slowly worked his way down to her mouth. Toby then kissed his way up to CJ’s ear, “Baby, open your eyes – you have such beautiful eyes. I want to see them. I want you to see what you do to me.”

CJ shook her head, “I was also taught that ‘touch can be the most basic form of communication’. Show me – what do I do to you Toby... let me feel your excitement.”

He took her hands in his, and after kissing each finger and palm, placed one over his heart, and the other over his groin. “Laugh for me Beautiful Girl. Do you feel that? Do you feel your ability to jumpstart my heart &…other areas…just from hearing you laugh? Take my shirt off, Jeano – please, and open your eyes. People also communicate with their eyes – sometimes more.”

Her eyes open, now turned a misty gray with desire begged him not to stop. Toby took her face in his hands and gently kissed her as he outlined her lips with his tongue until he was permitted entry. As the kiss deepened, CJ slowly moved her hands to remove his shirt. When they finally had to break for air, CJ whispered, “Toby… Toby! Look at me. I want you to take me to Paradise. Very slowly.”

“Claudia Jean, I never want to hurt or scare you – Paradise must wait.”

“There’s a difference. When I looked in his eyes, all I saw was anger and dominance. With you, it’s nothing but love and tenderness. I trust you – love you and know that you aren’t Ben. Take me – take me to Paradise. You have my permission to use whatever route, you desire.” CJ smiled.

Toby grinned, “My next goal was to hear you scream was it not?”

CJ nodded.

Toby crept up to her ear, and whispered, “Screaming is usually due to torture – in this case, of the most exquisite variety. Are you ready?”

“Always, Darling Boy – only for you.”

Very slowly, Toby kissed his way down CJ’s neck. He made his first stop on her shoulders to cover them with kisses, and inhaled the true essence of CJ {she was amazing}. Then, he slipped to her side as he suckled her right breast, while gently massaging her left. Somehow, Toby managed to free himself from his pants, and gently rubbed against her side.

When she whimpered, Toby chuckled, and began making lazy patterns on her stomach. When his hand finally dipped between her legs, he found her incredibly wet and ready. “Do I excite you?”

“Yes... tremendously... I want you.”

“Yet, you don’t understand that part of the excitement is the anticipation. You told me to pick whatever route I desired – the trick to that is desire can take hours... do you have hours Miss Cregg?”

“Oh, God – yes!”

“Then, my desire would be to drive you wild...”

CJ smiled, “That kind of desire works both ways.” She gently rolled to her side, and took him in her hand. As she traced her wetness with his tip, she whispered, “Do you feel that? How ready I am for you? To think with one move – both of us could be soaring. Oh, my Darling Boy – what to do?”

Toby laughed, “I trusted you. Now, give me your hands, and let me...”

“I thought you wanted to hear me scream…see me come…&…taste... my excitement.”

“I do...”

CJ smiled wickedly, “As you once said, ‘there is more than one way for that to happen...’ now, sit back, and watch…” Her hands slipped between her legs, began to move in lazy patterns, and CJ moaned his name. “I’m coming Toby, make it with you.”

“Before the night is out, it will be – I promise. Right now, I want to see you in all your glory. Come for me. Please Baby, just come.” With a few more gentle caresses, CJ screamed his name, and came with a rush. Before she could recover, Toby took her hand, and sucked on each finger. “Claudia? Do you see what you do to me?”

“Yes, Toby...”

“Will you do something else for me? Please?”

“Zack? What’s wrong?”

“I promised to touch you all over, but your dress prevented that...”

“No rear entry Toby – I’m serious!”

“You have nothing to worry about – I promise. The thought hadn’t even occurred. Even if it had, I would have cleared it with you first – you’re in control, remember?”

“MMmm HHmm.”

“Turn over, that’s my girl. As I was saying earlier, the most innocent of touches can turn erotic. For instance, while kissing the small of your back, my hand could innocently slip down and caress your gorgeous backside that has been taunting me, all night. Is that what you want my beautiful but wicked girl? Do I have your permission?”

CJ nodded.

When he stopped, CJ begged, “No, not yet – please – oh, To—by please!”

“What do you want, Beautiful Girl?”

CJ blushed as she smiled, “It hurts – will you kiss it and make it better?”

Toby smiled, “Then – I will tell you of our further adventures.” As he returned to kissing the small of her back, he mumbled, “This is where chocolate would be so handy.” As CJ purred, Toby slipped further down, and hummed in pleasure, as he began to cover that area with soft kisses.

~§~*~§~*

“Toby! Oh. God I need you…take me…please don’t say no again!”

“Where does my Beautiful Girl want to go?”

“Anywhere you will lead me…please.”

“That was the magic word.” As he rolled her over, Toby whispered, “Is my Beautiful Girl still ready? Excited?” He smiled, as his hand dipped between her legs, and he felt the silky softness. “Oh, yes... quite.” Quietly, he replaced his hands with his tongue and gently began to move. As CJ screamed his name, Toby drank in all that was Claudia Jean Cregg.

As she came down to Earth, CJ closed her eyes just as Toby slipped up to her ear. “Did I exhaust you?”

CJ shook her head.

Toby kissed her deeply, as he traced her opening with his tip. “Do you feel what you do to me? Is my Beautiful Girl ready again?”

“Always for you.”

As he filled her, CJ’s eyes opened, and locked with his, as he slowly began to thrust. “It’s only me – and I love you so much. Are you sure you’re ready?” 

CJ nodded.

As they established a rhythm, it took very little time for both come screaming each other’s name.

~§~*~§~*

He returned to CJ’s ear and whispered, “Baby, look at me...”

CJ turned her head and grinned, “Hey... you must be hungry. Would you like some food?”

Toby smiled at her. “Drink please.”

“Wouldn’t you like me to feed you too? You really do need something...”

“Do you promise that it won’t all make it into my mouth – and you will go in search of the run away fruit – do you promise Claudia?”

“Are you finished being wicked?”

“Oh, if you think I’m done with you... you are sadly mistaken. However...”

“Zachary – look at me.”

“I don’t want it to ever be over... I want to see your eyes... I need...” Toby mumbled something.

“What do you need Toby?”

“You.”

CJ smiled, “You just had me... is my wicked boy ready for more so soon?”

I don’t mean I want you to go down on me – that’s not it… we are more than sex ... at least I hope that’s the case.”

“Tobias Zachary Ziegler!”

“You ran. I closed my eyes at night, and you were all I saw... dreamt about... I’d see you in crowds, but you’d vanish, just as I reached you. At David’s wedding, I couldn’t believe my eyes, when my fantasy walked through the door. You have no idea how much self-control it took to just hold you that night. When you left, I never thought I’d see you again. After my trip to California, I lived off the memories of that weekend. When you didn’t answer my question about coming with me – I was so close to not giving you a choice.” He caressed her face, “It would have been simple really...”

Tears were streaming down CJ’s face. As Toby dried her cheeks, he continued with a smile, “I was allowed another carry-on.”

“You’d have had a willing volunteer. I was so scared, and excited. I never thought that anyone could love me that way.”

“Claude, I need to see your face every morning. Hear your laugh and know that it isn’t a dream. I need to know that I belong to someone – to you... and that I won’t wake up with empty arms. I feel as if I’ve been wandering aimlessly for years,” Toby caressed her face, “looking for you, the woman to complete my heart. 

I want to walk in the house at night, and have you present me, with a half-baked pie – that you made yourself – only for me. I want to be your teacher.

I want to take you to the amusement park, and have you cling to me during a scary ride, or laugh as I go screaming down the waterslide – I want you to be there for everything.

I need to feel your lips on mine, to hear your gasp in my ear as I kiss your neck. I need you to feed me heart, soul and stomach. Is that all right? I still don’t know, if I can make the same leap as David – but with any luck, one day I will, and I want you with me. Don’t leave me please.”

As she caressed his face, CJ said, “Oh, Toby – I promise. I love you so much. I will stay as long as you’ll have me. I’ll do as you wish,” she laughed, “within reason. I’m yours.”

CJ snuggled into his embrace, and whispered, “Tell me about the stars...”

Toby laughed, “You have the wrong brother – I can tell you what makes a good candidate, cook a decent meal, and I can even argue the pros and cons of school prayer. However, for anything outdoors, you have to deal with David, and since that would require letting you out of my sight – it’s not an option.”

CJ smiled, “It’s all right, because I’m content right where I am... are you hungry?”

“Only for you...”

CJ smiled, “I don’t know, I’ve been very bad today...”

“Well, in my experience – you’re better when you’re bad – will you be wicked for me? Oh, so wicked my Beautiful Girl?”

CJ nodded, “I will do as you wish... I love you.”

~§~*~§~*


	11. Beginning, The

Part 11

As CJ and Toby took a minute, to redress – she was able to take a cleansing breath. “Now, Sir, how may I be of service?”

“That, Beautiful Girl, is a loaded question.”

CJ smiled, “I have been known to go off.”

“May I watch?”

CJ grinned, “I was... I was hoping you’d pull the trigger... but we could do both. Would you like that, Sir?”

Toby nodded, “Oh, yes... very much.”

“Toby, look at me. As much as this sounds like fantasy, it’s real and I will never leave you – do you understand me?”

“But, I...” 

“I’m not saying that your Catholic Girl has gone forever – in fact, I’ve heard that Claudia may need an in-depth session in Anatomy – what I am saying is tonight isn’t meant to be dream, or fantasy. I’m doing all of this for you.”

Toby grinned, and nodded.

“Even though I didn’t say it, you know the same goes right.” He whispered.

“Yes, Darling Boy. I do... now where was I? Oh, yes… First, I need to get rid of the dress.”

As her dress pooled on the ground, Toby’s eyes grew. He’d just seen her naked, but there was something about her towering over him, that made it unbearably erotic. “Do you see how excited I am? How excited, you can make me – just by being so close?” As he was about to touch her, CJ smiled and moved. “Look, don’t touch – yet...” Her hands slowly circled her nipples; CJ sank to the ground, and into her touch. She made leisurely strokes down her body, as her hands settled, once again, between her legs.

After watching her for a few minutes, Toby lost his willpower. He quietly slipped beside CJ and replaced her hands, with his. When her eyes shot open, he whispered, “Hey... Beautiful Girl.”

“You…cheated…” CJ smiled.

“In fact, I did not – I just wanted to assist...” as he ran his tongue just above her center, he breathed, “ You do still want my assistance – don’t you?”

“Yes... of course, I just thought...”

“Don’t think – just feel.” Toby moved his tongue slowly over her center, and after a few minutes, ventured into the silky cavern that was readily welcoming him. “Ready, Aim…Fire – please, Claude!”

After several minutes of erotic torture, Toby’s tongue curled and hit her G-spot, CJ cried, “To—by…that was… the… magic… word.” CJ gasped.

“Now, tell me, Beautiful Girl – do you want to do wicked things to me?”

“So many things...” CJ smiled, reached down, and lovingly brought him to life. “Where do I start?”

“Anywhere you desire.”

“For what I truly desire, we need the room....”

Toby blushed all the way to the hotel.

~§~*~§~*

As soon as their door shut, CJ laughed, “I just love it when you blush – even the tips your ears turn red.”

Toby nodded, “Yes…they do.”

“Is it because you’re nervous?” CJ smiled.

Toby squeezed her hand twice.

“How about being excited?”

Toby squeezed her hand once.

“ Am I the only one who make you this excited?” As her tongue rimmed his ear, she urged, “Am I…?”

“... For as long as I can remember.”

“Toby, I need to make sure you realize something. Look at me. There is more to our relationship than sex. All those things you said earlier, and so much more. I realize I don’t have to go down on you, but you must know that I need to right now. You are what I need, what my body craves…has been screaming to have for 5 years – do you understand?”

“I do – I don’t know what I did to deserve you – but I do.”

CJ pulled him toward the bed. As they entered the room, she brightened, “Oh, good. They did as I asked.” The bed made in crisp satin sheets, and another set was in the corner. “Come, let us explore the possibilities... and my Darling Boy – there are plenty. Now, lie down and stay.”

~§~*~§~*

“But I’m still...”

I’ll take care of that and you... patience, you must have patience. We are on a return trip to Paradise, where I will cater to your wishes, fulfill your fantasies and no one will find us until we are ready to be found...”

He relaxed and closed his eyes.

CJ straddled him, “I want to be wicked... however, I’m afraid you’re not finished. Open your eyes, do you see anything you might have forgotten?”

As Toby obeyed, he found himself just inches away from CJ’s breasts. They were sensuous and his. He was so close, that with one movement. He could have her in his mouth.

She slowly unbuttoned his pants, and began to explore, “I know you’re hungry, and I’m aching to feed you – please!”

“You sound desperate do you want something?” Toby asked, as his tongue circled a nipple.

CJ gasped “You... know... what I want – you’re being wicked.”

“Yes, I am. Tell me, what may I do to relieve your ache?” His tongue circled the other nipple, and CJ purred. “Do you like that? Do you want more? I do... I could do this the rest of my life and be happy.”

“Tell me what you want. I am putty in your hands. Please...”

“Claude, I don’t want...”

“... To hurt me... I know... you don’t understand... just now, when I looked in your eyes... I wanted it to be you who hiked up my skirt... you won’t hurt me – I know. Anything you want you to do, as long as you talk to me – by all means, feel free.”

“I want you to moan in my ear, exactly what is you want me to do you. I’m your slave... my only desire is to pleasure you.” Toby whispered.

“First, stand and drop your pants...” CJ smiled at his obvious state of arousal. “Are you excited to see me?”

Toby nodded, and stepped closer.

“Is it because you understand how much I want you? Or is it that if I were to merely brush your tip, you would lose control?”

Toby tried to speak, but found no words.

“Come to me – let me drive you wild... I want so much to...” CJ suddenly began to shake.

Toby gathered her in his arms, “Jeano tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s just in my fantasies…”

“Tell me your fantasies... I’m right here... talk to me, Beautiful Girl.”

“... We always talk dirty... but that’s not us... will never be us... and”

“Oh, Beautiful One, if you think that we don’t talk dirty. You are wrong... it’s just we do it differently. The sexiest thing in the world is to be in a group of people with you. At the wedding, you had a certain way of flirting, without flirting... absolutely drove me crazy. Do you see how excited I am for you and how impatient you are for me? Would you like to know what I really want right now?”

“Yes.”

“Look at me Claudia Jean, and understand that my fantasy is nothing more than to taste your breasts, to have you feed me, the way you will – God willing – one day, feed our child. I’m so hungry – starving for any nourishment, you can give...”

As she took the receiver off the phone, she whispered, “I’d say, to kill the other phone and then Darling Boy, come to me, and let your fantasy become our reality.”

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Toby pulled up his pants, and with a deep sigh, went to answer. “Ziegler – who wants what now?”

“Room Service... I... someone stopped…& wanted ... they left a note – Sir.”

“Yeah... hang on.” he knocked the other phone off the hook, grabbed $20 out of his wallet, and headed for the door. Toby smiled, “Here, and thanks.”

The young man beamed, “thank you, Mr. Ziegler, and Happy New Year.”

{With Claude in my life, there is no doubt that will be a happy year…for the first time.} “Yeah. You too.”

As he rolled the cart to the room, Toby dropped his pants again and handed CJ the note, “here... taking any guesses?”

CJ grinned; the envelope read ‘Toby and CJ’. Inside was a note. 

Here’s to getting to know each other – all over again.  
Have fun.  
Love always,

David and Becca (by proxy)

CJ laughed, “Maybe a game of Truth or Dare?”

Under the silver dome were in fact, strawberries, champagne, and chocolate sauce. Toby beamed, “That would be a resounding no.”

“Oh, God – Toby – hurry! In seconds, he was in her arms. “Food later.” As he sank onto her chest, CJ lost all conscious thought while, as promised, they slipped away to Paradise. 

CJ cradled his head, and whispered, “ Are you hungry, Baby? Take as much as you need... That’s my good boy... my Darling Boy... we have a long night, you will need nourishment. That’s it Zack – take all that I have... oh, Baby – that feels so good…don’t stop, please!” After what seemed like an eternity, CJ forced herself to take Toby’s head in her hands and whisper, “Toby, look at me.” Without breaking contact, his eyes drifted to hers, as his tongue swirled her breast. “It’s not that I want you to stop... but you must know that the more you do, the more wound I become – can you handle it when I un-spool?”

Toby kissed her breast, and raised his head. “I can handle anything you throw at me... if you doubt that I will catch you, as you shatter – and put my most beautiful jigsaw together... you are mistaken.”

CJ continued to cover his head with kisses, as she spoke softly. “I’m crazy about the roundness of your head.”

The tips of his ears turned red. 

“It is my turn.” CJ smiled, “Don’t you want to know what I want?”

Toby nodded, “Tell me.”

~§~*~§~*


	12. Beginning, The

Part 12

“I want you inside me.”

Toby crawled up to her ear, “Actually, that’s not fantasy…but it will be reality… as well as the fact that it would qualify as me being wicked – it’s your turn – I want to be ravished... I’m very sore already... can you help me? I’ve learned that there’s no use going into this sort of thing in less than perfect condition. Will you heal me, Miss Cregg?”

As CJ kissed him deeply, she said, “I learned that chocolate could cure all ailments. Did you know that Darling Boy?”

Toby shook his head, “I, in fact did not. Would you care to enlighten me – please?”

“Tell me where you hurt... “

“All over…however – what really hurts is...”

CJ laughed, “Behave yourself – you really don’t want my Chocolate Therapy there – it’ll get uncomfortable later. Don’t worry. You’ll not feel neglected – I promise. Now, lie on your stomach.”

Toby whimpered.

“Patience... I have special plans... Do you perhaps need something else tended to first?”

“First... yes, please... I need...a friend tended to…”

CJ brushed her finger across his tip, and he moaned. “Is he in pain? Does he ache?”

“... Aches, yes...”

“I know a technique to relieve his ache... would you like me to use it, my Darling Boy?”

Toby nodded and sat on the bed.

“I promise it’ll work.”

He grinned, “Will you take good care of him?” 

CJ nodded, curled on the floor, at Toby’s feet and began by gently running her tongue around his scar. “Relax – I’ll take care of everything.” 

~§~*~§~*

“Is he feeling better?”

“Thank you nurse.”

CJ beamed, “Now that is taken care of... perhaps you would like a massage?”

Toby grinned inanely and nodded.

“Where would you like to start? 

“Anywhere…”

CJ crept to his ear, “Well, I think it’s time for a surprise – don’t you?”

“Yes ma’am.”

“Roll over.” As Toby obeyed, CJ continued, “Now, tell me Darling Boy, where are you the most tense?”

“Shoulders and neck very sore... knots in my lower back... and then…”

“Is that the way you want me to Cross The Border, Darling Boy?”

“Please... did you say something about…chocolate?”

“I did... It has healing properties. However, first we start with a massage. As her fingers dug into his shoulders, he groaned in pleasure.

“Claude, that feels so good…for—get the choc…”

“Aw, that takes away…”

“I didn’t…tell you... what else... Becca sent... did I?” Toby panted.

“In fact, you did not.” CJ smiled.

“There’s another bag... I wonder what’s in it?”

“Be a good boy, and I’ll be right back.” 

After a few minutes, Toby approached and said, “I realize that being good is no fun. I would rather be wicked.” As he placed his arms around her waist, Toby whispered, “What did you find?”

“Treats... unless you’re good and return to the bed, you’ll never find out what kind.”

“Oh, but I will... right now, my friend, feels the need to repay you...” Toby’s hands, slipped under her skirt, and began to caress. “Is there anything he can do?”

CJ shivered, “Oh, God – Toby... I’d... it’s... not... fair!”

“Claude, look at me.” CJ turned in his arms, “Do you still want me inside you?”

CJ nodded. “But I…” 

As he caressed her face, and kissed his way up to her ear, he breathed, “It all comes out fair in the end…tell me Beautiful Girl, do you still want me to hike up your skirt – did you mean that?”

“Yes... yes, I did... but... it doesn’t make sense.”

“Tell me, tell me what doesn’t make sense.”

“Hold me.”

“I am. Now, talk to me.”

~§~*~§~*

“Some nights, I have nightmares about that night... and wake up screaming. Other nights, I have fantasies about it being you. So gentle, kind and loving, I know that you would never hurt me. However…”

“Tonight is meant to fulfill fantasies, remember? No nightmares allowed…Claude, look at me, and listen very carefully.” As he caressed her face, he continued, “Fantasy can become reality. You proved that, the other night when I walked in, and found you on my bed. I’ve been dreaming of you for years – please, Sweetheart. Let me do what I can.”

“Okay.”

“Claude, did anyone ever tell you, that you were a tease?”

“No, Toby. They didn’t. How is it exactly, is that I tease you?”

“By remaining half-dressed, since we returned, you refuse to let me experience, the treasure held under your skirt.” 

~§~*~§~*

As he placed her on the bed, Toby whispered, “Does my Beautiful Girl want to be surprised as to how I cross the border?”

CJ nodded.

“Close your eyes, Beautiful Girl.” As he knelt at the foot of the bed, Toby placed one leg over each shoulder. Slowly, he began kissing a trail up her inner leg. As he began to move under her skirt, he whispered, “It’s only me. Your skin tastes so amazing... incredible. Are you able to undo your clasp, Sweetheart?”

After a few minutes of fumbling, there was light. “Hey.”

“Hey yourself. Are you ready – ready for Paradise?”

“Oh, God – Tobs – always...”

Toby gently licked and kissed her center, whispering, “Open wide for me Beautiful Girl.” 

CJ reached for his head to guide him, as she rocketed into another world.

As CJ returned to Earth, she whispered, “For a man who talks to his shoes, you communicate well.”

Toby kissed his way up to CJ’s ear, “Oh, but Beautiful Girl... you have yet to experience my thrust.”

CJ inhaled sharply, as Toby entered her. “Please... continue... and don’t ever stop.”

“Let me see your eyes... they turn the most amazing shade of gray, when you’re excited.”

Her eyes fluttered open, “God you’re sexy. Do you have any idea what to do to me Tobias Zachary Ziegler?”

Toby shook his head, and smiled, as he thrust gently, “Would you like to tell me Claudia Jean Cregg?”

“You make me feel…beautiful, sexy…wanted and wanton…Wanton, only for you. Toby, look at me.” As she caressed his face, CJ continued, “You make me… want to surrender. Please, Zack!”

Toby smiled, as he thrust again, “Are you sure?”

CJ nodded slowly, “More than I’ve been... of anything in my life. Look at me; I was a fool to return to California in the first place. I want to belong – only to you.”

After a few more thrusts, both started to grow in anticipation, and readiness. “Are you ready, Baby? Are you ready to come with me – and be mine forever?”

“Please... hurry... I... love... you.”

With one final thrust, they exploded into emotional bliss and all was quiet.

~§~*~§~*

“Zack?”

“Yes, Jeano?”

“Did you just propose?”

“I... well I mean... sort of – you said the other night, that you didn’t need a ring to be committed...”

“I don’t.”

“So could it have been a proposal that one day I propose?”

“Yes, it could.”

“What will you say?”

As she kissed him on the cheek, CJ whispered, “The only thing I am ever able to say to you. Yes, Darling Boy – I’m yours.”

~§~*~§~*

“Jeano?”

“Yes, Zack?”

“What do you want?”

“It depends... are you finished being wicked?”

“I need to rest... what did you have in mind my most Beautiful Girl?”

“I thought I’d feed you... would you like some strawberries, Baby?”

Toby nodded. “Will they be freshly dipped in chocolate?”

“That can be messy...”

“I trust you, to keep me clean.”

“I will do my best, but my Darling Boy, I promised to chase runaway fruit – have you changed your mind? Do you want me to behave?”

“Behave... I... No. Please – I didn’t mean... Would you be wicked – wicked only for me?”

CJ nodded to the corner, “See that? The extra set of sheets – we can be as messy as we want…”

“There is only one set... means we can only be messy once...” Toby smiled, “You know, we left the sandwiches and grapes at the planetarium... do you think we traumatized, the hotel staff enough?”

“I believe that we can behave ourselves long enough for food to get here... and as for the maids, they have their own key – just ask to have the sheets left in the living room. No need for any embarrassment.”

“I’ll be right back.” As he reentered the living room, Toby finally took in new details. He beamed, as on the desk, there was in fact, a fruit basket {it hadn’t been here this morning.} – with a card from David to ‘enjoy any way you want’. As his eyes skirted around the room, he saw another bedroom. After sticking his head in, he found to his great delight, that both rooms had an extra set of sheets.

~§~*~§~*

With a fruit basket in one hand, and the extra sheets under the other arm, Toby returned. “No call needed. This basket was on the desk, and the sheets were in the other room – either they couldn’t tell which room was occupied, or they were being generous.”

CJ grinned, “The basket being from –”

“David – to ‘enjoy any way we want.’”

“He’s going to blow our cover.” CJ laughed.

“Have we really had a cover since the wedding?”

“I never told Becca that we... knew each other before...”

“Why not? She is your best friend – did something happen. Something that I don’t know about?”

“You just said it. She’s my best friend – knows everything... I wanted something to myself... ourselves. I love Becca I really do, but we have been friends a long time and she’d want details... details I’m not ready to give – are you?”

Toby shook his head.

David, figuring it out, is one thing – but, if she... you think that Becca was bad the wedding!”

As he placed the fruit basket on the cart, and rolled it beside CJ’s side of the bed, Toby kissed her deeply. “I’m tired of talking about Becca – I’m hungry, and need you to feed me... will you be a wicked girl? My wicked girl?”

“Come to me, and we will chase runaway fruit together. Does that sound like fun, Darling Boy?”

~§~*~§~*

“Together… yes.”

As Toby settled beside her, CJ smiled, “Would you like this plum?”

“I hate plums.”

“Oh, but you will like these plums… I promise. Open up... like a good boy...”

“I’m actually...”

“Bad... with the ability to be quite wicked.” CJ smiled. “As punishment, you have to watch me – and not be given the chance to help clean up...”

Toby gulped, “If... if I take a bite, will you chase the juice... please?”

“Good boys get rewards...I promise.” CJ smiled, and taking the fruit in her hand, traced Toby’s mouth with it. “Take a bite for me... just one tiny bite. Wasn’t that good? Do you want some more? Eat it all…I will lick the juice as it dribbles into your beard…come on, Baby…that’s my good boy…my Darling Boy.”

Silence.

“What do you want me to do next? I can be inventive – would you like that?”

“I’m all clean.”

“You are, because you are my good boy – my very good boy... good boys stay out of trouble, and keep clean. Then, when they finally un-spool... they can be so wicked… and become oh, so dirty…would you like to be dirty? For it to be me who makes you dirty?”

“You... me... dirty – yes. Oh, please – yes!”

With a smile, CJ whispered, “Hang up the phone, while I’m gone.” She then jumped up and grabbed the bag, and started out of the room.

“Claude! Where do you think you’re...”

“Patience, always have patience – for I have a surprise... a very special surprise.”

~§~*~§~*


	13. Beginning, The

Part 13

A few minutes after Toby placed the phone in the cradle it rang. “Ziegler – who wants –”

“Hey.”

“Hey...”

“Do you have any idea, how much I love you?”

“I believe, tonight demonstrated that quite well.” Toby smiled.

Silence.

“Beautiful Girl, are you there?”

“I am, and I was just wondering...”

“Yes?”

“Which is more exciting? To come, because of a recorded voice, or because the actual voice is on the phone, whispering in your ear.”

“Claude... would it be... your voice?”

“Would you like that Darling Boy? What would you like to hear? What I want to do to you or, what I want you to do to me?”

~§~*~§~*

Silence.

“Toby?”

Silence.

“I can’t do this... we aren’t this...” Toby said.

“Toby, I…”

“We are us... and neither one of us... at least the us I know – would do this with each other especially with the other so close. Have you opened the bag?”

“I know what is in it, but not yet. Toby what are you up to?”

Toby sighed, “Stay right there, and close your eyes.”

CJ obeyed, and as she heard a click – shivered. After saying a quiet prayer of thanks, she could do nothing but wait.

When Toby arrived, he froze in the doorway, the sight of her amazing body, left him inarticulate.

“Toby? Say something, Baby.”

He slipped beside CJ on the bed. “What I want to do is…” Toby ran his hands up her sides, and around her nipples. “…Is to totally rock your world…just by touch…is that what you want?”

CJ nodded. “I want nothing more, however…”

“I hate however!”

~§~*~§~*

“Me too.” CJ kissed him lightly, “However, we’ve been holed up for days and you just know Becca and David have been trying to call – must be killing them…watch.” CJ placed, the phone on the cradle, and it rang immediately. “CJ Cregg, wanton woman how may I help you?”

“She lives!” Becky laughed, “so, we haven’t seen you in days – how about a breather and some coffee?”

CJ laughed, “When exactly do you leave for your honeymoon?”

“January 2.”

“When you get back, you’ll be sure to tell me – if you’ve ever let David out of the hotel room.”

“Touché – it’s the Ziegler Look – will do it every time. Coffee?”

“Give us an hour, we’ll meet you at ‘Windows on the World’ … I promise – an hour!”

~§~*~§~*

“Now what?”

“Now, we must behave.”

“I don’t like to behave…”

“I know…but if we behave now, we can misbehave later.”

Toby crept up to her ear, and whispered, “Are you sure?”

I’m positive... why do you doubt that?”

~§~*~§~*

“I never asked you, why you disappeared.”

“… I…”

“Why? I was so sure that our kiss would lead somewhere. Yet, when I came in the next day you were gone.”

“I was scared… never in my life, had I kissed anyone with that result. I could lose myself so easily... I just ran – as far and fast as I could.”

“Like you ran from Ben?”

“For an entirely different reason! With Ben, I was afraid he’d hurt me. With you I knew you’d own me…”

“Why did you come back this time?”

“I told Becca I would...”

“No. I would have bought that if you hadn’t called me weeks ago, and told me to ‘just ask’ – why?”

“I thought I’d lost you, when I didn’t answer in the airport... then you didn’t call I just – needed to hear you say it or give you the chance to say ‘I did, and you blew it.’ I needed to realize the entire weekend wasn’t a dream... you aren’t the only one who wakes up with empty arms.

“I did ask, and you still stayed away...”

“I was frightened! I knew what I felt... how I felt... but to tell you the truth, I wasn’t positive I’d done the right thing, until I saw you face, the other night. It was then, that I knew I was home.”

~§~*~§~*

“Becca and David almost killed me when I deplaned, without you. Becca wouldn’t speak to me at all, and David just insisted that I was too frightened to follow my heart…”

“Toby?”

“God, you were sexy in that Yankees shirt…never had I seen a baseball shirt look so amazing…”

“Really?” 

“Yeah... I wanted you so badly... wanted to go south... when you seemed so surprised that I would say yes, if you asked me to move... I… managed to convince myself, that I would enjoy the weekend, and give it one final shot at the airport. When you said nothing, my heart broke. You returned for David.”

“You said you’d call but the phone never rang. I was so scared when I realized what I’d done, so I called. You asked again, and I said yes – is any of this sounding familiar?”

“It still took a call from David...”

“Why? Why wasn’t the call from you? ‘Jeano, you said you’d come – stop stalling – I’m miserable.’ I would have been on the next plane, Tobus... but more importantly, if you’d only acted on being allowed another carry-on, none of this would have happened.”

~§~*~§~*

“Let’s not do this... right now – I just want to know…if we can misbehave as long as we behave…do you know how erotic that can be?”

Toby... oh... I told... Becca... only an hour... we can’t...”

“No, but you can listen…then as each accidental touch occurs…each glance goes a little too long…you will know it is a promise for things to come. Now, listen to me.”

“Kiss me, Toby.”

“Not yet. This was only the appetizer, now we must behave. However, for good girls there’s a scrumptious desert…when we return... can you be good?”

CJ nodded slowly.

“If you do misbehave…which even the best girls have been known to do…you will be punished…but my dear, you will find that there is pleasure even in my punishments.”

“Yes, Toby.”

~§~*~§~*


	14. Beginning, The

Part 14

Shortly after they arrived at the restaurant, Becky smiled and said, “I call Girl’s Night – let’s go. I haven’t seen you in days, there are sales, and I know you have a lot to tell me. You can fend for yourselves right boys? Play nicely.”

CJ leaned in, and whispered, “Fashion show later – and then you will decide if I have been good or bad.” 

“Yes ma’am.” Toby whispered, as he gently placed a stray piece of hair, behind her ear.

David shook his head, and ordered two beers. “Don’t mess this up.”

“David – I’d – you’re the one who made the call.”

“Because you refused...”

“I didn’t refuse – I asked twice…sort of, when I went to California – she didn’t say anything...”

“Tobias Zachary Ziegler, look at me. Can you honestly tell me that you asked Claudia before you were sitting at the gate?”

“... I... she wanted to go below the blush line... I told her, when we did it would be because she had come home for good...”

David’s voice dropped to a growl, “You made this about sex? The two of you, couldn’t hide it at the wedding, how much you wanted each other – loved each other. Why wait? Why Toby?”

“Mama always told us...”

“To find someone to love and be happy – that’s all she wanted...”

“We are happy – she knows I love her and doesn’t need a ring to be committed... I can’t do it yet, Astro – I just can’t.”

“Why?”

“With that gorgeous creature to come home to everyday... that face to wake up to every morning, and the body to go to sleep with every night – I wish I knew – I really do.”

“I’ll say this one more time: do not screw this up. If you upset Jeans, then it upsets Becca – and I do not want either of them upset. Do we read each other?”

“Yeah, we do. You are confident I can’t do this without your help – that my being Toby Ziegler, automatically equals failure. Maybe you’re right, you always did things better than I... hell, you arranged for the room, the planetarium – the food – I did nothing except work with what you’d given me.”

“Toby, I was –”

“ I’m not hungry anymore – if you will excuse me.”

“Where are you going?”

“Back to my apartment – if I’m going to ruin her life, I might as well do it now.”

{Becca will kill me.}

~§~*~§~*

“So tell me...” Becky smiled.

“Tell you what?” CJ asked innocently.

“How did you do on the oral portion of your exam?” Becky laughed.

CJ blushed, “Quite well – I had an excellent tutor.”

“Really? Do tell...”

Just then, Becky’s phone rang. “Hello, Love – what’s going on? ... You’re kidding... what have I told you about,” looking at CJ, she continued, “where is he? Understand... yeah – you too. Yes, even after you do things like this. I’ll be home later.”

“What happened?”

Becky shook her head, “David opened his mouth, and words came out.”

“I thought they were getting along.”

“They do – they adore each other – until Astro gets protective.”

“Of me?”

“An extension of me, but I think he feels responsible for your happiness since he called you in the first place.”

“He didn’t – I called Toby – told him ‘just ask’.”

Becky gaped.

“He tried to, twice, sort of – once at the apartment, and again at the airport, but I was in shock... by the time I realized, I was home. He told me he’d call, but never did. So –”

“You called him?” 

CJ nodded. “Then dragged my feet – until David’s call. He said both of you were miserable, and I should ‘get here and stop being scared’.”

“Well, somehow, Toby thinks he’s ruined your life – or will with time – so he’s back at the apartment. Thought he better start now.”

“I have to get to him. You have a spare key right?”

“I do, but as hard as it is, you can’t do that. Give him some space – he’ll come around. It’s not you – it’s my husband.”

“Why is so hard for you to believe – that I may actually know what I’m doing. You and David don’t have the corner on happiness! I just got him in my life after...”

“After what?”

“No way! You will have to get used to the fact, that there will be some parts of my life – you don’t have to know about. Here’s how it’s going to work. You can either give me your spare key to Toby’s apartment and drop me there, or, you can drop me at the hotel, where I will find a cab to take me to the apartment, and be forced to break down the door... either way, I’m ending the night with him in my arms. Get used to it! Now, will you cooperate, or do I break the law... I will do it. You know that.”

Becky sighed and turned the car in the direction of the apartment. Neither spoke, too afraid that they would make things worse than they already were. As they arrived, Becky silently took the key from her ring, and after giving it to CJ, whispered, “Good luck – I love you.”

“I know – same goes – more than words... but you have to trust me on this.”

“I do. Now, go make him see straight.”

“Hey Becca? Can you hang out a few minutes – just to make sure I’m right?”

Becky nodded. “If you’re not back in 10, I’ll assume the best.”

~§~*~§~*

CJ entered quietly, Hurricane Toby had struck. Tables overturned and shelves wiped clean – their remains visible all over the floor, like wounded soldiers. As she cursed David, CJ placed the key in her pocket and made her way to the bedroom. There, she found Toby asleep on the bed. His cheeks and eyes were red from crying, and on the nightstand, a formal photograph of them taken at the wedding.

As she knelt beside the bed, she whispered, “Hey, what are you doing here?”

“David said that... I don’t want you to... you better run... now.”

“Is that really what you want?”

“It’s the best thing – really.”

“I don’t think it is…”

“You don’t know me…what I’m capable of…I fail at everything…I’ll hurt you…please don’t give me the chance…run Jeano…now.”

“The fact that you’re calling me Jeano – indicates you really don’t want me to go. You asked me to come. I did – I love you, and could care less what David thinks.”

“He’s always right... always wins... I want you to go Claudia Jean... it’s what’s best.”

“Damn you!” CJ threw the picture against a wall. “This is our chance to finally be happy, and you’re blowing it – why? Why didn’t you just let me go back California and stay there?” 

“I just don’t...” 

“Go to Hell! I’m so unbelievably tired of everyone, telling me what to do. No one ever asks me what I want… I’ll be at the hotel until I can arrange a flight back. Goodbye Toby.”

With 30 seconds left on the clock, CJ was in the car, crying uncontrollably. “I’m sorry... let’s go back to the room and you can tell me what happened.”

~§~*~§~*

When CJ calmed down, she said, “I’m going back. I know, I told you I’d be here, and that won’t change. I’ll take the red-eye often as I can. However, I can’t live in the same town with him so close and not...”

As they settled in the room, Becky asked, “Did he really ask you to leave?”

“He told me to run.”

“Sweetheart? Look at me…do you want to run?”

CJ shook her head. “Not if it means being without him... I can’t do it again...”

“Okay... I’m getting a headache... you need to fill me in… I promise, no meddling – I may kill him – but I won’t meddle. Talk to me – please?”

CJ gave a defeated sigh, “We met years ago…my feelings for him scared me…so intense so fast…I ran. The next time we saw each other, was at your rehearsal.”

“You said, nothing happened that night.” Becky smiled.

“Nothing did... we really did just talk” CJ smiled shyly, “and cuddle.”

“You really are in love with him…aren’t you?”

CJ nodded.

“It’ll be all right – I promise.” Becky kissed her lightly on the cheek. “Now, get some rest. I’ll see you in the morning.”

~§~*~§~*

As she pulled up outside the apartment, Becky prayed. “Lord, for the meddling I am about to do, make Jeannie grateful. Amen.”

As Becky unlocked Toby’s door, she surveyed the disarray. {He really is a mess} as she entered the bedroom, she said, “Toby? Wake up.”

“Claude? Is that you?”

“Wake-up Toby – it’s Becca. We need to talk.”

“Where is Claude?”

“You... you don’t remember yelling at her before... telling her to run?”

“I would never... she’s my... oh God, it wasn’t a nightmare? Becca help me – I can’t lose her... not again! I told her to run – she said something about everyone making decisions for her life, but never asking what she wanted... what do I do?”

“I believe you just answered your own question, Tobs. Now, she is at the hotel – why don’t you go talk to her?”

“She doesn’t want to see me... not after what I said.”

“I think you might be surprised. See, she told me that she couldn’t afford to lose you, ‘again.’ Go to her Toby – make each other happy. Now, I go to deal with your brother.”

~§~*~§~*

By the time, Toby returned to the hotel, CJ had gone to bed. As he entered the bedroom, he found her, wearing his CCNY jersey and sobbing softly.

“Claude? Jeano, Baby…”

“Zack? Is that you?”

“Yeah...”

“Are you all right?”

“I will be... as long as I haven’t ruined it... I can’t afford to lose you again. I don’t think my heart could stand it. But, I need to know what you want.”

CJ opened her arms, “You. All I want right now, is you to hold me... talk to me... what happened with David?”

“He told me not to screw this up... when I look back on it, I know what he meant. However, what I heard was that I was a colossal screw up.”

“You are not...”

“Just listen... without him, I wouldn’t have you. He bought me the plane ticket to California. I can’t afford this room – you really think they would close the planetarium for me? I don’t think so. I couldn’t even think to order food... I’m no one compared to him. He is the Great and Mighty David Ziegler Astronaut Extraordinaire. I’m his brother Toby, Speechwriter and Political Operative to the losing candidate of your choice.”

“You’re overlooking something. David didn’t bring us together, God did. You said it the other night. ‘You’re my miracle… my gift from God.’ it goes both ways. As long as I’m with you, I couldn’t care less what the room looks like. David is a nice guy, and makes Becca very happy – but he’s not you. Toby, you are the only man with the ability to make me melt from the inside out…”

~§~*~§~*


	15. Beginning, The

Part 15

“But David thinks that…”

“I really don’t care what your brother thinks... but you obviously do, so tell me.”

“He thinks I held ‘Going South’ over your head – I didn’t did I? I mean, you knew what I meant – didn’t you?” 

“I’m going to hurt him! Baby, if I hadn’t arrived – would you’ve called?”

Toby nodded. “I was going crazy – it wouldn’t have been long... so much I needed to say... I’m just sorry he beat me to it... he always wins.”

“No, he doesn’t – hasn’t and will never win where we are concerned – do you understand?”

Toby nodded again.

“I’m not sure I can say this right... I told you but you don’t remember... I felt truly blessed when you said Going South ‘is the ultimate act of love and giving of oneself to another.’ It’s not that the other isn’t intimate, and giving – but…”

“Claude?”

I would much rather know with all my heart – that the man, whose mouth I let under my skirt... is going to be there and loving me forever, instead of out the door after a one night stand. The truth doesn’t matter to anyone except us – and only we know what the truth is, right?”

“Right.” As he caressed her face, Toby whispered, “I don’t think I deserve you... but, I’m glad God does.”

“Being ‘deserving’ has nothing to do with it…we were meant for each other. I told you that already. Now rest…that’s it close your eyes and sleep my love.”

~§~*~§~*

The next morning, Toby woke to an empty bed. As he stretched his arms, he called “Jeano?”

All he heard was silence. As he went to investigate, he found a note in the living room:

My Darling Zack,

I love you very much – so much that I refuse to be in a relationship, where you can believe for even one minute, David is responsible.

I’m not running away... just waiting for you. Come for me Darling Boy... come.

Love always,

Claude

~§~*~§~*

“Becca? I need your help.”

“Tobs! What’s going on?”

“Claude’s gone.”

“Oh, Toby. I’m sorry…”

“I told her what David, and I fought about... and now, she’s gone.”

“Without a word?”

“I woke to a note.”

“Let’s hear it.” As Toby read, Becky smiled. “Toby, listen to me. She’s not gone – she is waiting. You told me last night. She said something about people not asking her what she wanted. She is telling you. Jeannie wants you. Go get her.”

“I don’t have any money – how would I...”

“Let me give you ticket money...”

“I will not take David’s money – not for this...”

“This has nothing to do with David, it’s me. Claudia is my sister, don’t you think I want to see her happy? You make her happy Tobs – I’ll call Continental and have the tickets waiting for you. Now, go. You can pay me back.”

“I love you too – I have to do this by myself – do you understand? Without her I have nothing.”

“Yeah…I do. Go do a job.”

“Thanks.”

~§~*~§~*

CJ could do nothing except stare at the food in the kitchen. She knew she should eat, however just wasn’t hungry. {What if I messed up? I just told him everything was fine – everything was fine, except he didn’t think so. I had to do it this way – just had to otherwise...}. Suddenly, there was a knock the door.

As CJ opened it, she had to smile. Toby was staring at his shoes. “May I help you, Sir?”

“It seems that... you keep stealing my heart. I’ve checked with every doctor I know, and all say it is impossible to live without one’s heart. Will you come home with me, and make me alive?” He looked up, met her gaze, and said, “I love you.”

As she took his hands, and backed in to the living room, she said, “I don’t suppose I really have a choice... I can’t have murder on my record can I?”

“You... you’re wearing the sweatshirt...”

CJ nodded, “I told you, it makes me feel as if you’re holding me.”

“I was holding you, but you left.”

“Yes... and you followed. Aren’t you hungry?”

As he ran his hands under her sweatshirt, Toby caressed her breasts. “You are all I need.”

As they fell on to the bed, he continued to stroke her nipples, and CJ arched into his touch. “Are you hungry? Is baby hungry? I’m extremely happy to feed you... but I’m sure… you need…real fo... oh Toby... feels so good...”

“Actually, I’m very hungry... airplane food stinks…does my Beautiful Girl have any ideas?”

CJ nodded, “I ordered food... but couldn’t eat.”

“Did my girl order comfort food?”

“MMmm HHmm… cause I knew I should eat…but by the time it got here I still wasn’t hungry.”

“Will you nibble if I feed you? It’s important to keep up your strength.”

“Yes.”

“That’s my good girl. What did you order?”

“Spaghetti... with stuffed meatballs... and extra sauce... must have cooled by now though.”

Toby raised an eyebrow, as he walked over to test the temperature. “Just right.” He brought it to the bedroom, he whispered, “Separate containers, Claude?”

CJ nodded, “For some reason I have never been able to stand meatballs soaked in tomato sauce. So I order extra sauce, and ask for the meatballs on the side.”

“Oh, but Beautiful Girl... they can be... so orgasmic... if eaten properly.”

“Toby? What are you doing?”

“We are eating. I will take the meatballs – on the condition that you try just one – like, a good girl.”

CJ bobbed her head and inhaled sharply as Toby grazed her cheek.

Toby dipped a meatball in the sauce, making sure it was thoroughly covered. As he held it up to CJ’s lips, he whispered, “Close your eyes, stick your tongue out, and taste – don’t bite, just lick.”

As CJ obeyed, Toby continued, “Now – forget it’s a meatball, and pretend it’s me. Can you taste it? The tangy yet sweet pre-excitement on my rough skin?”

“MMmm…MMmm HHmm…”

“Now, take me all in and suck ever so gently... until I tell you to bite.” After what seemed like minutes Toby whispered, “…Now…”

CJ’s eyes shot open, as the gooey cheese filled her mouth.

“Do you taste me running down your throat? Now chew carefully, and swallow.” As she did, Toby continued, “That’s my good girl – always trying new foods. Do you want another?” 

“I have all I want in my arms. What do you want?”

“Well, I was thinking about...”

“Zachary?”

“It seems to me – you enjoyed my meatballs quite a bit... will you eat another? I hope that later, it will be more than just ground beef and cheese...”

“MMmm…oh, Toby…help …to rock…my world…by touch…”

“I did promise didn’t I, Beautiful Girl?”

“MMmm HHmm…so close…so wound…just kiss me…oh, God, Toby – please!”

As Toby, outlined her face in kisses, he gently caressed her breasts. “Is my Beautiful Girl prepared to soar?”

CJ nodded slowly.

Toby kissed her deeply, exploring every inch of her mouth thoroughly. When he felt her stiffen, he broke for air and whispered, “Come for me Baby, just come.” As he kissed her again, he slowly caressed her nipples. Toby soon swallowed her moans of pleasure, as she released.

~§~*~§~*

“MMmm…Tobs? How long…before we… have to be… in public.”

“We have until tomorrow night. Is that all right?”

“Anything you want, Zack…anything.” 

“That is a dangerous…& yet such an exciting thing to say to someone who has come to seduce you. Do you mean it Claudia? Will you surrender to me?

CJ squirmed, and nodded slowly. “Talk to me, Tobias – just talk.”

Toby smiled, “I didn’t see any plates, but then I didn’t look too hard either... do I have your permission to eat in bed?”

“Out of the container? You aren’t even going to share?”

“You might not like my concept of sharing... you see, you were very bad this morning... only a note...that Becca deciphered.”

~§~*~§~*

“Is that how you arrived so quickly? Help from your sister-in-law? We are right back where we started!”

“That’s what I said to her…she gave me the tickets in exchange for…”

“Tobias Zachary…”

“The apartment...”

“Toby... you didn’t need to –”

“Yeah, I did... you told me come for you... and that’s how I would like to pay for it. I’ll change the deed, when we return. You scared me, Claudia!”

“I’m sorry Toby.”

“Sometimes sorry, doesn’t cover it and you must be punished.”

CJ shivered.

“However, there is always pleasure, even in punishment... are you ready?”

CJ bobbed her head, mutely.

“Now, first we need to get rid of this sweatshirt.” He ran his hands down her sides, and gently but swiftly lifted the shirt over her head. “This is better on so many levels.” For a few minutes, he straddled her, mesmerized – able to do nothing more, then stroke her nipples.

CJ, for her part, came up with a full body blush.

Toby smiled, “Why, Claudia... what a beautiful color you turn. Since you seem to be out of plates – may use you?”

“Oh, God Toby – this is punishment?”

“Oh, yes. There will be moments, when you are just on the edge of bliss… only to crash down… you have to hear, feel and watch me – before you have the chance to experience.” As he grazed CJ’s earlobe, he whispered, “Have you ever noticed how slowly I eat? It’s pure torture. Sometimes, I wonder what it would be like to be my plate, as I lick it clean... you have to tell me one day.”

~§~*~§~*


	16. Beginning, The

Part 16

“First, I want to show you some tricks in the kitchen. Do you like to learn new tricks, Claudia?”

CJ nodded.

“Now, remember the key is concentration. We need to warm the food just a little – so it’s not too hot for you, and not too cold for me. Some things become very hot, very quickly – did you know that?”

CJ nodded again, and shivered.

“Are you cold? Do you need me to warm you? I can get you quite warm.”

“I’ll... be... fine... thank you.” CJ panted.

Toby smiled, “Now, you need to stir the sauce... remember to concentrate... we don’t want this to get too hot – do we?”

“No, Toby...” CJ’s voice quivered, as his hands ran down her sides and settled between her legs, gently caressing.

His tone changed a little. “Claude, remember we go only as far as you’re comfortable…regardless of what I say you are in control.”

~§~*~§~*

“Tobias...”

“Yes, Claudia...”

“... I want you so badly.”

“Ah, my love, but, you must keep in mind that wicked girls don’t always get what they want. Will you remember, Claudia?” 

CJ nodded. “Will you teach me to be good? I want so much to be good…”

Toby smiled, “It’s time to check the temperature. Do you know how?”

CJ shook her head.

As he took her hand, he whispered, “Use your fingers to get some sauce... is that too hot?”

“No.” Toby guided CJ’s hand to his mouth. After sucking her fingers, he whispered, “Just right. Now, why don’t you go in the living room and wait for me?”

“... Want you.”

“Oh, Beautiful Girl – it’s against the rules but, because you were such a good student, I will tell you a secret – does my girl, like secrets?”

“Very much.”

“I want you too…covered only in tomato sauce…it would taste so amazing in the small of your back…”

“If…if we break the rules, and …I go to the room…will you come?”

“Not right away…this could get too hot…”

CJ rimmed his ear, “I’m too hot now, and you haven’t seen wicked yet… You don’t know how out of control I can get…punish me after I finish…please?” CJ purred. 

It was Toby’s turn to shiver.

“I bought things. Does my Darling Boy want to see? I believe you’ll approve…please Toby…let’s finish what we started yesterday. Don’t do this…” 

Toby turned, and as he caressed her cheek said, “I know I gave you another impression last night, but I never meant to send you away. How could I do that to someone who sends my ability to breathe AWOL, every time I see her?”

CJ blushed, “Every time Toby?”

“Yes, ma’am... now, what was that we had to finish? Oh yes – what I wanted to do you. Now, I believe you already know the answer to that question – so all that remains is where.” Toby lifted her on to the table and continued, “We can be comfortable in the bed, or I could touch you, right...”

CJ laughed, “Don’t even think about it, Ziegler. In 5 minutes, come to me Darling Boy.”

Toby’s eyes gleamed, “Really?”

CJ took his face in her hands. After tracing his mouth with her tongue, and a deep drugging kiss, she asked, “What do you think?”

“HHmm… my polling data indicates that you want me... and that we should leave the sauce for later…did I receive false information?”

“You’ll have to explore that possibility, won’t you? However, I believe you’ll find that your data is 100% correct... hurry Toby.”

~§~*~§~*

He entered a few minutes later, only to find CJ wrapped in her bedspread crying. He curled beside her on the bed, “Jeano? What’s wrong? Talk to me.”

“I bought something after you left last time… once I saw it I – didn’t think we’d ever use it. Now... I...”

“You what? Tell me.”

“It doesn’t look the same on me, as it does on the model... she was very… and I’m not... I ruined it.”

“Claudia Jean, look at me.” As CJ turned in his arms, he whispered, “I don’t care about the model – only you – and I know, that even if you had a sack dress on, you’d be beyond sexy. Let me see it, Baby – please?”

CJ sighed, “Oh, all right... it came with a matching G-string – but I found something better at ‘Frederick’s’ last night – do you want to see the whole outfit?”

“How many times do I have to say please?”

After she kissed him on the head, CJ whispered, “Close your eyes – and be sure to keep them that way...”

“Jeano, what are you doing?”

After a few minutes CJ murmured, “I’m Claudia Cregg. You are?”

“Toby. Tobias Ziegler, ma’am.”

“Mr. Ziegler, the blind may use touch to see as well as communicate. Is that correct?”

“I’d... yes ma’am... I’ve heard that...”

“So, tonight – I’ll take you on a short guided tour. Is that clear?”

“Yes... yes, ma’am.”

“Only after we are finished, will you be permitted to explore. Do you like to explore?” CJ smiled.

“I do – very much. Would you be my guide, and make sure, I don’t get lost?”

CJ nodded, “Yes, that can be arranged, but because this is such a ‘hands on’ tour, I have to make sure…”

“Only my mind is dirty – I promise.”

~§~*~§~*

CJ shuddered, and after taking his hand, continued, “With the loss of one sense – the others are heightened... this is especially true for touch and hearing.”

“Really?”

“Yes. Shall I demonstrate?”

“Please.”

“Let’s start here. Gently, she placed his hand on her shoe, “What do you feel?”

“Soft... like feathers.”

“Good. Next, move your hand up a bit.”

“Smooth... nylon – maybe silk.”

“Excellent.” Suddenly, he heard a snap.

~§~*~§~*

“Oh, God, Claudia!”

“I told you that I had yet to be wicked…”

“So, you did…please Baby, I want my sight back…”

“But you’ll miss the lesson on Smell and Taste.”

“Oh, but Beautiful Girl, you’re wrong…I won’t miss a thing... I can already smell your perfume, and was going to taste you regardless…baby still needs to be fed.”

“MMmm…open your eyes.”

Toby stopped breathing at the sight of her. The shoes had marabou feathers; she wore black and red silk thigh highs, a garter belt, and black lace crotchless panties. His eyes then met hers and strangely, he started to breathe again, because all that remained was a sheer black top, also lined with marabou feathers that barely covered her chest. Not able to think for himself, because all blood had already gone south, he breathed, “Because of or with?”

“With Darling Boy, after the last 24 hours…with…”

~§~*~§~*


	17. Beginning, The

Part 17

“Tobs? Are you all right?”

“... Yeah, just thinking.” His hand remained under her top caressing her nipple.

“I like the way you think... come up with anything Earth-shattering?” CJ smiled.

Toby crept up to her ear, “I did come... quite nicely, thank you. By the way, if you didn’t feel the Earth shatter – we have another problem.”

CJ smiled, “This is California... that was a tremor... welcome to my world.”

“That wasn’t what I was talking about and you know it Claudia Jean!”

“You’re right, I do, and I’m sorry. I was teasing.”

“It’s not funny…I…”

“Tobs? Baby, tell me, please.”

“You aren’t the only one who had an orgasm from the kiss. It was the most incredible moment of my life. Tell me the truth, why did you disappear was it me or Ben?”

“I…oh, my God…Toby, I never…I told you…they were two different things. Yes, I ran from the campaign because I was scared of my feelings. However, I disappeared because I was scared of him.

I’d gone back to Becca’s because her mother was dying and I needed to say goodbye. It was then that he…he threatened me, again…I had to leave I just had to…Becca and I still kept in touch, but I never returned, until the wedding. I was so scared but not of you of Ben. Please understand. I need you to understand.”

“SShh…that’s it…let it out…I’m not going anywhere. That’s it Angel…relax.”

~§~*~§~*

Once she calmed, CJ said, “You’ve seen my fashion show… Will I still be punished?” 

“Oh, no… You are too wicked... it will have to be torture... of the most exquisite variety. No touching or participating... simply feeling.”

“Toby, there is a bag in the corner... bring it to me, please?” As Toby obeyed, CJ continued, “Becca and I saw this in a store the other night... and she dared me.”

Toby pulled out a pair of fluffy handcuffs. “No, I won’t do it!”

“Tobs? You need to understand – because I didn’t until the other night. As long as I’m afraid – Ben wins. I can’t do it anymore. You couldn’t hurt me, if your life depended on it. Take me Toby please…let me surrender. I want you to own me... please Baby. Please.”

“Claude, look at me, and tell me that this isn’t because you think it’s what I want... you know that I never want you hurt... or to be the cause.”

“I don’t want this emotional baggage any more... I want you to be the one who throws it out the door... I’m tired, sick and tired of being afraid. I want you – don’t you see... if I can turn my nightmares into fantasies, I’m free.” As she took his head in her hands, she continued, “Take, torture, and release me, Zack – please…”

“Baby, I still want you... covered in sauce... but it’s probably cooled by now...”

“That’s all right, what about my clothes?”

Toby smiled sheepishly, “I forgot – was so anxious. Now, lift your arms and let me take it off.” He was very careful, to go exceptionally slow. He grazed her sides, with an achingly soft touch. Toby took the cuffs in his hand, and after kissing it, gently secured her right wrist, before repeating the actions again with her left. “If they start to hurt, you’ll let me know – right Beautiful Girl?”

CJ nodded, and she sucked in a breath.

“I can’t make up my mind – which way to Cross the Border – and since I can’t ask you, it leaves me no choice, except to do both. As I go down, I will take off your clothes, and on the way back, I will feast on the trail of sauce.”

Inwardly, CJ shuddered, in anticipation.

~§~*~§~*

Toby covered her face with kisses – everything but her mouth. As he worked his way back to her ear, he whispered, “Such a sexy prisoner, are you absolutely positive this is what you want?”

“So positive... so very positive...”

Toby covered her neck, and shoulders with kisses, slowly moving down to her breast, where he stayed for quite some time. Each was spiraled, licked, and kissed repeatedly. As CJ arched into his mouth, Toby realized that this was no longer torture and stopped. Toby, rubbed his beard and CJ whimpered. “Prisoners are marked…with certain indelible symbols. Is my prisoner, my beautiful, wicked prisoner ready to be marked – my mark?”

“Your mark, oh God – MMmm... Can’t think straight...”

“You’re enjoying this too much.” Toby crept up to her ear, “Remember, I told you there would be moments, when you were just on the edge of bliss…”

“…Only to crash down…yes, Sir.”

“This is one of the times... do you understand?”

“Yes... yes, Sir. I do.”

“What are the things you are allowed to do?”

“Hear, feel and watch…Sir.”

“But not…”

“Experience.”

“You broke one of the rules…didn’t you Claudia?”

“I…I couldn’t help it…felt so good…Sir.”

“Oh, Claudia… I should figure out another reprimand.” As he caressed her face he continued, “…but I broke the rules too…”

“What…what did you do…Sir?”

“I fell in love with the prisoner…and I protect, not punish...not like this, those I love.” His tone changed, “Jeano look at me, while hearing you call me ‘Sir’ is quite a turn-on…I can’t do this…to see you tied up like an animal is killing me…I’ll fight off whatever dragons you need to be slain but I don’t want to make love to you I want it to be with…please Baby?”

“Oh, God – yes…Sir.” 

~§~*~§~*

As he unlocked her wrists, Toby brought each hand to his mouth and kissed it gently. “Feel better?”

“MMmm HHmm…thank you, Sir…” As she placed her hands on his shoulders, CJ could feel the knots. “Toby…why don’t you let me try to apologize” she then rolled him over, and pinned him on the bed. “You are so tense – let me take care of you. I can make all the tension go away.”

“It’s not that I don’t want to, but it’s almost 12... and we’ve got an 5 p.m. flight...”

“Cancel the tickets... I don’t want that hotel room if it means you being uncomfortable. David and Becca are leaving on their honeymoon in a few days, you don’t have a campaign to get back to, and I haven’t found a job. No one will call; there is no room service to come to the door. It’s just us.”

“As tempting as it sounds – and trust me, it does, we have to go back – Becca’s worried about you. I’ll call the hotel and have our bags sent to the apartment. Once we get there, I am not letting you go.”

“After all, I was promised the opportunity to explore... I love to explore... and it looks as if you have uncharted territory. You’re going to get very hot in those silk stockings... and your lace garment is making me hot…”

“Do you want to do some exploring now, Sir?”

“Oh, yeah, you have no idea. However, there are other ways to explore. Now, what are we going to do about the kitchen?”

“I’ll call Carol... the Sisterhood sticks together.”

~§~*~§~*

When they arrived at the airport, David and Becky met them at the gate. David said, “So, Jeans, I see my brother dragged –”

“Don’t even start with me…that name is off-limits until further notice! Your brother’s name is Toby – use it! You make Becca happy, and I’m very grateful. However, read my lips. You will not mess with my life. Yeah, you’re right – Toby did insist that we return. I wanted to avoid you. Oh, One Who Is under the Misguided Impression That You Are Responsible for My Happiness – I came to New York, because I promised Becca and Toby. Yes, you kicked me on to a plane – but you are not responsible.”

“Claudia, I –”

Toby stepped up, and growled, “That name is off-limits as well – permanently. Sweetheart? Let’s hail a cab.” Toby placed a protective arm around CJ and they headed for the door.

“Jeannie! Wait!” Becky yelled, and she looked at David she said, “You. Stay…so help me, if she isn’t talking to me because of this, our honeymoon will be very cold…” As they met halfway, Becky asked timidly, “Are we all right?”

“We could never be otherwise... unless you really ticked me off.” She laughed. “...I love you... have a wonderful time on your honeymoon, if I don’t see you.”

“Jeannie? This... I mean I’ll... and we... you’ll still be around for the baby, right?”

“Wild horses couldn’t keep me away... but I need time to cool down... he can’t control me... Toby, yes...” CJ smiled. “David... not so much. It’ll be all right – I promise. Toby is waiting I have to go.” CJ gave Becky a kiss, and headed in his direction.

~§~*~§~*


	18. Beginning, The

Part 18

“We’re home, Sir.” CJ smiled wickedly.

Toby closed the front door behind them, pinned CJ to the wall and brushed hair out of her face. He whispered, “We have to look into one of those French Maid costumes.”

“What makes you think I didn’t…Sir? Would you like me to change …clean up a bit… you made an awful mess.” CJ grinned.

“There will be an entirely different kind of mess if I watch you clean.”

“Does Sir need another job done…of a personal nature? I’m talented at many things…”

Toby sucked in breath. 

“Just tell me what to do, Sir…my… my name is Claudia…”

“Claudia is a beautiful name. Are you a good girl, who wants to be wicked... or a wicked girl who wants to be good?”

“I’m your girl – I’ll be or do anything you desire... Sir.”

Toby caressed her hair, “What I desire, is first, for you to call me Toby – we’re going to be getting very intimate.”

“Yes, Sir – Toby – my friends call me CJ.”

“I’d like us to be friends – very special friends. Would my girl like that?”

CJ nodded, as she crawled next to him on the bed. “Would that be like ‘friends with privileges’? I don’t have any... you would be my first.”

“Would you like that, CJ?”

“Very much. You look exhausted... what took your energy?”

“A round-trip to California in 24 hours.”

“Are you too tired, to undress?

Toby nodded.

“Do you want me to help?”

“Please.”

~§~*~§~*

As CJ unbuttoned his shirt, Toby slowly began to reciprocate.

“No! Zack, don’t!” CJ leapt from the bed, and ran into the other room. By the time, Toby found her, she was crying.

“Jeano, what’s wrong? You’re scaring me.” As he knelt beside her, Toby tipped her head up. “This isn’t you. What happened when you were out with Becca – did she say something? Everything seemed fine at the airport...”

“She didn’t say or do anything... all she did was be herself. I love her with all my heart – always have and always will – but...”

“But what?”

“I…”

“Talk to me. Please, Jeano. Come on – please Baby?”

“We…we tried on all the same outfits. She looked like she just walked off the runway, and I looked like a flamingo trying to play dress up. You deserve someone gorgeous – like Becca, to go on your arm to all the fundraisers that you have –”

“Okay, enough. Now you follow me.” After taking her hands, and placing them around his waist, he headed for the bedroom. After they settled, he continued, “For your information, I think that the flamingo is a beautiful bird. It’s so graceful, confident, and has gorgeous feathers.”

“Zack, I’d...”

“SShh… I had my chance with Becca... we met on a campaign, and I introduced her to David, remember? She wasn’t my type. Is David your type? Would you prefer a good-looking man with hair and a fancy title?”

“No, Zack.”

The only person I have ever wanted... truly, is, was and will always be you. To me, you are the one who just walked off the runway... at the wedding; you were the only person I saw. Becca must have been beautiful, but all I remember is you.”

As he slowly ran his hand under her blouse and over her breasts, Toby smiled. “See? They react, just as they should. I love you – very much. Now, the only thing I need, is you in my arms…no French Maid…no ‘friends with privileges’… just Jeano and Zack...is that all right?”

“MMmm yeah…it’s perfect…I love you Zack.”

“I love you too Jeano more and more everyday.”

~§~*~§~*

Toby opened his eyes, and looked for CJ, but found no one. {Not again... please, not again}. As he entered the living room, Toby smiled as he saw CJ in the maid costume. “Good Morning.”

“Good Morning Sir, may I help you?”

“No, I… I guess not. You see, I was looking for the woman who I spent the night with last night. The one, who I thought I had finally convinced, didn’t need to be somebody else... if you see her, would you tell her that for me? Thanks.”

{Damn, I can never get it right.}.

CJ walked into the bedroom and found Toby, lying flat on his back, with unshed tears in his eyes. “Toby? Zack, Sweetheart?”

“Do you have any idea how much you scared me? The thought of the life without you has been unfathomable since the wedding... I just had to believe that one-day, it would happen.” CJ sat beside him on the bed, and began to wipe his tears.

“No. Listen carefully; I don’t need the costumes to fantasize about you. I do that every time I close my eyes. All I need is you. Don’t get me wrong, they’re exciting, once in awhile... but not as exciting as you.”

“Zachary... help me out of this outfit...” as CJ crept up to his ear, she continued, “It has a zipper down the front – that requires a very gentle touch.”

As he brushed his hand across her cheek, he breathed, “My touch is very gentle... don’t you agree?”

CJ nodded slowly, “I do... oh, yes. Toby... I do...”

~§~*~§~*

As her outfit slipped to the ground, Toby whispered, “There’s my girl.”

CJ smiled seductively, “I’m extremely thirsty... do you have a drink for me?” CJ moved her hand down his body, and settled between his legs. “Maybe with a straw?”

“I don’t know…that’s my only one.”

“Please, let me apologize... I was raised a good Catholic girl... and we do penance on our knees.”

“Stop, now!”

“Toby, I don’t understand. I...”

“No, you don’t... take a long walk... come back when you figure it out. I’ll be right here – waiting.”

“Toby... I...”

“Go. Get dressed and go.”

~§~*~§~*

As she walked around the city, CJ wondered what she’d done wrong. She relived the last 24 hours, and came up with nothing. {He knows I love him, and he loves me. Where’s the problem? I’ve shown him every way I know how...} CJ could think of only one person with answers, and as much as she hated it... she needed his help.

After taking a deep breath, CJ knocked on their door. When Becky answered, CJ whispered, “Hey, am I interrupting?”

“Not a thing... what’s going on?”

“Honestly? I don’t know, and as much as I hate to ask, I need David’s help.”

“ Jeannie, where’s Toby?”

CJ fell into her arms. “He sent me away. Told me I needed to think... he didn’t tell me about what...”

“SShh. It’s going to be okay... we will get it all worked out... Astro? The door is for you...”

“Ziegler – who wants... Claudia Jean...”

“Hey...I... I need to apologize.”

“So, I’m allowed to run your life now?” David laughed.

CJ smiled, and shook her head, “Not for what I said, but for how and where I said it – you didn’t deserve a public lashing.”

“Yeah, actually I did... but that’s not why you are here – is it?”

“How did you...”

“Toby. He thought you might turn up here. Come on, let’s sit down.”

“Astro, he sent me away...”

David smiled on the inside, at the use of his nickname and knew he was forgiven. He grinned, “Did he take you to the airport and buy your ticket himself?”

“No... He told me to come back when I figured it out... I can’t.”

“Have you tried?”

“I don’t know what he is that he wants me to figure out. I love him – he knows that. The same way I know he loves me.”

“Jeans, listen to me, you have all the answers – you just need to remember... how do you know he loves you?”

“He told me.”

“Think planetarium, what else did he tell you?”

“He said that ‘we were more than...’” CJ blushed. “That he wanted me, and ‘never wanted to wake with...’ oh, God…I did it to him – twice…how could I?”

~§~*~§~*

“How could you, what my Beautiful Girl?”

“Toby – how did you...”

Toby knelt beside her, and whispered, “My fence mender... now, the quicker you tell me what you did – the quicker they can get back to whatever we didn’t interrupt...”

CJ laughed as she finally noticed that David’s shirt buttoned extremely crooked. “I let you wake up with empty arms... I’m sorry, Baby – take me home, please?”

“Your wish is my command... and there, you will be reminded of positive virtues of holding.”

“We’d better get moving. Thank you both very much – and I’m very sorry.” CJ grinned. “Please continue – but not until we leave.” She leaned into David and whispered, “ I love you. Thank you, for making Becca so happy.” As she kissed Becca she whispered, “Thank you for Toby – I love you.”

Toby said, “Thanks guys – sorry – have a wonderful time... it looks like you’re getting a good head start. Call when you return.” He gave Becky a kiss on the cheek, and they ran out the door before David could catch him.

~§~*~§~*

The return trip was in silence, albeit companionable. Once inside, Toby said, “there’s something you have to understand. To me, we can make love without making love. Do you remember the meatballs?”

CJ nodded in understanding.

“I can, and even want, to be naked with you – without it leading to sex. If we do, because we can – it becomes mechanical. However, to do it because that’s what both of us want is extremely exciting. Do you understand?”

“I’m not saying we can’t cuddle, fondle and even grope.” Toby smiled. “What I am saying is it doesn’t equal sex nor does it mean you have to go down on me to prove your love…”

“Toby Ziegler! I do not do that!”

“…I’ve watched it happen, especially the first couple of nights…I just … don’t want to be a chore…”

“You could never be a chore…but I understand…I never want us to become cheap…rote…mechanical whatever word you wish to use… I do love you, Tobias Zachary Ziegler and that’s all that matters to me.” 

~§~*~§~*


	19. Beginning, The

Part 19

As he held her, CJ whispered, “Toby?”

“Yes, Beautiful One.”

“I... I know I sound like a broken record, but even after seeing Becca beside me this morning... you still want me?”

“She’s my sister-in-law!” Toby laughed.

“Someone as beautiful... as sexy... there’s so many other women, who could and would –” 

“Come with me... let me show you something.”

“Toby? I thought we weren’t...”

“I just want you to understand that you are sexual – without always having to be sexy…” Toby caressed her face. He pulled CJ in front of the full-length mirror. “Look at you. Dressed in a running suit, and still able to drive me crazy.” CJ stiffened in his arms, and turned away.

“Claude, Jeano – Baby. What’s wrong?”

“If... if I am so sexual and even sexy... why do you keep sending me away?”

“I don’t... at least I don’t mean to – I didn’t know what I said, the other night... it was only after Becca came to see me that... I came straight to you. You’re the one who left.”

“You... thought that I returned because of David…I needed you to know that wasn’t the case. Yes, he made it financially possible to arrive when I did. I believe you said it best: ‘I was going crazy – it wouldn’t have been long... so much I needed to say.’ I needed you to be responsible. Do you understand?”

Toby nodded.

“Still, you sent me away again, this morning – I was so confused!”

“To think... to think. 

~§~*~§~* 

“Toby? Can we start the nonsexual sex later? I need you right now…I know a very good boy, who never his chance to explore... come, take me to bed and we’ll correct the error…want my…good boy…my clean boy…to get very dirty…I…”

“…Still don’t understand…look at me and listen carefully…I’m going for a walk…I will be back. Because despite it all I can’t breathe without you.”

“Toby? What don’t I understand? At least tell me that much…”

“There is more than one way to make love…I don’t know how many times I have to tell you. I want you more ways than between the sheets. I’d like to believe there is more to us than that…if there’s not…we’ll figure it out, but I pray there is. Look at me,” Toby guided her face up to meet his gaze. “I love you and I am coming back…do you understand?”

CJ nodded, as tears ran down her face.

“Don’t cry... think.”

~§~*~§~*

A few hours later, Toby opened the door. As he passed the kitchen, it was an absolute disaster. Toby started to call out, just as he heard voices.

“I’m... I’m sorry to call you over here – I know I’ve bothered you once today. But –”

“Where is Toby, Honey?”

“Went for a walk – and he wanted me to think... and I tried what he wanted. I really did... except I failed.”

Becky looked up, just as Toby walked in, and gave him sympathetic smile. “Come on, I’ll help you.”

“I don’t want your help!”

Becky looked up to see Toby put a finger over his lips.

“What do you want?”

“To be you – you can do everything. Not only that, you look gorgeous – have you ever seen us side by side in the mirror? It’s like night and day. You’re so beautiful, talented and can do so much I can’t.”

Becky smiled, “I know, it sounds funny – I always wanted to be you. Guys were always after my body – they were after your mind. You were so amazing in high school. In college, I never thought I could compete. You can do the one thing, I could never do. Actually, I’ve never seen anyone do. You make Tobias Zachary Ziegler, speechless. Do you have any clue how hard it is take that man’s words away? I’ve never seen anyone do it – until the rehearsal dinner.

Jeannie, listen to me, that man loves you – he would do anything you asked...”

“He deserves someone beautiful, like...”

“Sweetheart, you are beautiful... I wish you could see that! Even if you can’t see it, Toby can, and does. When he sees you, his smile is so bright, it could light 15 city blocks.”

“He wants me to be able to cook – I tried – and failed.”

“I believe, all I required, was a half-baked pie – for the record, there are two half-baked and one burnt... you, my dear, have met and exceeded your quota.” Toby grinned.

“With that, I will go...” Becky smiled.

As the door shut behind Becky, CJ whispered, “Toby. You’re back... I tried to – but it didn’t work...”

“You forgot didn’t you?” Toby asked.

“Forgot what?”

~§~*~§~*

“I said I wanted to be your teacher...” Toby placed his arms around CJ’s waist, “Let me teach you.”

“Everything, Toby…I want to know everything.”

“First, it can get quite hot, in the kitchen. So it is best, to dress accordingly.” Toby smiled, as he lifted the apron over her head to remove her running jacket. As he replaced her apron, Toby ran his hands up her sides, and whispered, “Is that better?”

CJ moaned, and whispered, “MMmm… still a little warm…”

“Well…” Toby ran his hands under the apron to lower her sweatpants and breathed, “Better now?”

“MMmm…MMmm HHmm…but I thought you said…”

“That there was more to us than between the sheets. Do you see sheets, my girl?”

CJ shook her head slowly.

“Do you see a bed?”

“No…”

As he turned her in his arms, Toby whispered, “Do you see us?”

“Yes, Sir.”

~§~*~§~*

“Now, I’ve wanted to show you how to prepare my favorite meal... will you let me take control?”

“Yes, yes, Sir. What would the meal be, Sir?”

“You... only you. You were so good today... my girl tried something new. Claude, you think you failed, but you didn’t. What kind of pie did you burn, Angel?”

CJ looked down at the ground, “Pecan.”

“My favorite... I would love some later, because you made it – just for me. I know in my heart, that will be the best pie that I ever had.”

“Toby... I’d...”

“SShh…The first thing is to follow all directions. Look, right here, it says: ‘Kiss the Cook.’” After Toby kissed CJ gently, he took her face in his hands and whispered, “Now, all the ingredients are together, so it’s just a matter of getting things warmed up.” Toby ran a single finger down her spine.

CJ moaned, “MMmm…”

“Now, tell me my girl, I want to make another kind of mess …” he rimmed her ear, “do you?”

“…Very much…but I thought that…”

“Baby do you want me or are you letting me do this?”

“Want…oh God, without a doubt…want.”

“Me too…we’ve conquered the bedroom and the dining room…where to next?”

“I really want you here…but it could be painful, and” CJ smiled.

Toby grinned, “What was to follow the ‘and’ Beautiful Girl?”

CJ nodded. “It’s just that I…never mind… never mind.”

~§~*~§~*

Toby whispered, “If I promise to catch you, as you melt into my arms…it would be quite exciting… but, that’s not what you want – is it?”

“I... I’m not in control – Sir.”

“Oh, but this is an independent study. Claude, sweetheart – it’s Toby, what you want?”

“Last time, you sent me away...”

“Never again... I promise... what do you want Angel?”

“I want my good, clean boy with a dirty mind, to have the chance to explore my private place. Under the right conditions, the environment can change within seconds. Zack, I want you – please Baby, make me come.”

“Claude? Do you really think that Zack can be dirtier than I can? Because, I can become very dirty... shall I demonstrate?”

CJ shivered, “Please do.”

~§~*~§~*

“Now, first we need to leave the apron in the kitchen – always return things to their proper place. Do you understand?”

“Yes... yes, Toby.”

As he stood in front of CJ, Toby silently stroked and caressed her nipples. “To me, you are amazing. Look at the way you come alive, just for me.”

“Yes, oh, Toby yes – only you.”

Toby leaned into her ear, and breathed, “Now, go to bed and wait. I’ll be right there.”

CJ’s breathing stopped. {Oh, God, not now…anything but} “Yes, Toby.” CJ’s voice quaked.

“Claude, look at me…what’s wrong?”

“I don’t want anything to be wrong, but it isn’t working…”

“Ben?”

~§~*~§~*

“If you can believe it…for once no.”

“Claudia Jean, what don’t I know?”

“I…I have two brothers ... they did hurt me. Daddy didn’t believe me – ‘his boys wouldn’t do that’… that is why I went live with Becca’s family.” As she caressed his beard, she continued, “It’s not the act, I promise. I do still want you... it’s just that what you said, was exactly what they used say and I froze.”

“I’m sorry, Baby.” As he lifted her on to the counter, Toby continued, “Sit right here and distract me... such a beautiful distraction.” He gently covered each breast with kisses, before lowering her to the table. “Just relax. As soon as I’m finished, I will take you where you need to go and I will follow.”

~§~*~§~*

After a few minutes, CJ sighed, “It’s not fair.”

Toby turned and smiled. “It is not correct, to use the pronoun before using the noun to which it refers.” He kissed her nose, “What isn’t fair, my girl?”

“I had to take my clothes off – and you didn’t.”

“I was teaching.”

“Yes, and teachers set the example – don’t you think?”

Toby approached the table. As Toby caressed her hair, he whispered, “Do you want to level the playing field? Claude, look at me. Do you want to explore?”

“Desperately.” CJ sat up, and slowly began unbuttoning his shirt. As it slid to the floor, She helped Toby out of his pants and he kicked them out of the way. “Now, you are mine.” 

“Not here – not yet. This table will be too small. We need space to spread out. Not to mention, that you promised I could go first. The teacher ‘sets the example’ remember?”

“I... I do.” CJ smiled and shivered.

“Put your arms around my neck, and trust me.”

“Always and forever.”

Toby placed her on the carpet. “Are you comfortable? Or, do you want me to get something for you?”

“I’m... I’m fine…thank…thank you.” 

Toby sank beside her, and immediately became captivated, “Oh, God how I love to explore your body…”

“Why? When you could have any woman you want – why choose me?”

“Not this again... I told you...”

“... That you didn’t want Becca; she wasn’t your type... I know. I’m trying to figure out is, what makes me so special?”

“You really don’t know... don’t you listen to Becca?”

“I do but she’s not you...”

“Claudia Jean Cregg, I want you to pay attention. I would never lie to you.”

“Okay...”

“You’re right, you’re not beautiful. Look at me… you’re exquisite. Forget the bridesmaid dress... your bedtime attire in California, was… indescribably erotic. When you ate the meatball... I almost embarrassed myself. More then that, it’s your mind... I’ve never met anyone who would go toe to toe with me – and excite me the way you did the way you do.”

“Toby…I” tears began rolling down her cheeks again.

“Come to me…that’s it…that’s my angel…just rest…oh how I love my Beautiful Girl.”

~§~*~§~*


	20. Beginning, The

Part 20

Toby held her while she cried, and as she lay in his arms, CJ played with the hair on his chest. After several more minutes, she whispered, “Toby?”

“Yes, Angel?”

“I’m hot. Please help me.”

“Do you need a shower?” He smiled.

“Don’t want cold shower…only you.”

“I was going to try and make this a little more comfortable.”

“No…don’t care…don’t make me beg.”

“…It could be exciting.” Toby grinned. “Besides, you were never punished appropriately for disappearing, and whereas, I do claim to be partly responsible…you still scared me. I believe, the official name is ‘mental anguish.’ I think that punishment in kind should be enough – don’t you?”

“Toby, what are you doing?”

“Remember what I said, you’ll have times when you are just on the edge of bliss...?”

“Only to come crashing down... yes, Sir.”

“I love it when you call me that. However, don’t forget we are us.”

“Yes, Sir, Toby Sir.”

With a feather light caress, Toby drew a line down the center of her chest.

CJ began to squirm.

“Why, I’ve hardly touched you and yet you seem to want something already.” Toby whispered in her ear, “What do you want?”

“Nothing... nothing, Sir.”

“Are you sure – you look…uncomfortable.”

“No… no, Sir. I’m fine, thank you... Sir.”

~§~*~§~*

“Claudia Jean, look at me.”

“Yes, Toby?”

“I’ve wanted to make sure – that the cuffs are in California – you burned them right? Because I never want to see them again.”

“Yes, Toby, Sir. I threw them out.”

“What I said before about you always being in control – still stands. Okay?”

“Okay. Toby?”

“Yes, Angel?”

CJ took his face in her hands, and said, “It’s your turn to look at me. I know as well as I know myself – that you would never hurt me on purpose. I believe you said, ‘the thought never occurred to me.’ I love you.”

“Always and forever.”

“Now, Sir? You were in the process of torturing me, I believe...” CJ smiled.

“You mock me.” Toby grinned, “Why, that means that I need to slow down.” Again, he drew an invisible line down her body, this time, beginning in the center of her forehead, and going as far as her invisible panty line. He whispered in CJ’s ear, “I must stop right there because if I go any further, it would pleasure you and I can’t have that – not yet, can I?”

“Yes, Sir… No, Sir…whatever you say, Sir.”

Toby began fondling her left breast, while gently covering her right with kisses. As he began to swirl his tongue CJ arched into his mouth.

He stopped suddenly, kissed her breast with the lightest of kisses, and whispered, “Not yet. I have so many things that I want to do... but none of them are possible right now, because...”

“I... was... bad... Sir.”

“Yes, you were... what do you need to do to rectify that?”

“I’m... sorry... so very sorry... Sir. I want to be a good girl – your good girl... will you teach me, Sir?”

“I’m sorry, that’s not the answer I was looking for...”

~§~*~§~*

“I know you want me to beg, but I’m scared. I don’t want to stop... but I’m scared... Sir.”

“Claude, Honey it’s me. Come here.” Toby opened his arms.

CJ moved into them, and relaxed. “Hi.”

“Hey... did I go too far?”

“No… I really don’t want to stop, but for some reason I became scared... Sir.” CJ smiled.

“Well, perhaps if my bad girl just said please...”

“Don’t make me right now…please.” CJ smiled, “I just want to be teased. Not tortured…teased by you. The gentle brush of your beard drives me crazy…your kisses that go away before I have a chance to deepen them. Your husky voice as it whispers in my ear, promises for later…Please, Toby…Sir…don’t stop yet.”

“Claude, look at me.” In her eyes, he saw the true answer. They were misty gray and begging him not to stop. She was ok…this wasn’t fantasy…he could and would continue… “Now let’s see, where was I?”

“You wanted me to beg, and I refused…Sir.”

“So you did.” Toby crept beside her ear, and rubbed against her. “Do you feel how excited you make me?” Toby caressed her face, “How much I want to be inside you?”

“MMmm HHmm…yes, Sir.”

“Now that can’t happen because…”

“I…was…bad…but you shouldn’t…suffer because of that…Sir…there…there is more… than one way for you to be inside me.”

~§~*~§~*

“Does my bad girl, want to become wicked and do dirty, dirty things?”

“Want to be... so very dirty... but only if...”

“Claude, are you all right?”

“I want to be as dirty as I can...” CJ caressed his beard, “but only if... is this what you want?”

Toby opened his mouth, but no words came out. Finally, he was able to whisper, “please... oh God, Claude. Please.”

“ What do you want, Baby?”

“I…I really don’t care…just…want…you.”

“Does my good boy with the dirty mind… want to explore?”

“Yes…but, first, I want us to be freshly soaked…come and we will get clean…before making each other dirty.

~§~*~§~*

After they emerged from the shower, CJ whispered and smiled, “…Who wants to be dirty first?” 

“Would that be in mind or body, my Beautiful Girl… because a dirty mind… is a terrible thing to waste…don’t you agree?”

“Yes…yes, I do... what... what was your dirty mind contemplating?”

“You. It’s always you.” As he settled next to her ear, he continued, “Ever since we met, my mind has gone to delightfully sinful places with you.”

“Promise to take me some of those places... I want to go where we can’t be found.”

“I promise.”

“Okay. Toby…do some of those things, you only fantasize about... I want to be your dream girl.”

“You are my dream girl. We’ve done absolutely nothing in my dreams that we haven’t done, in reality.”

CJ nodded slowly. “MMmm…Okay.”

“You have many private places where I love to play… are there any others?”

“MMmm… not telling... come play with me and explore the possibilities…Please?”

“So many possibilities... does it matter where I begin?” Toby grinned.

“How do you do that?”

~§~*~§~*

“Do what my girl?”

“Make me feel dirty without touching me.” CJ whined softly.

“I told you there were ways to ‘make love without making love’ …didn’t I?” Toby whispered.

“Yes, I’m sorry for not believing you…Sir.”

“All is forgotten. Now that you’ve seen other ways to make love, would you like to be my dirty girl?”

“... Aren’t... you going to explore?”

“Of course... I was only hoping that since I...”

CJ smiled and whispered, “Did my boy make a mess?”

“I’m so very close to spilling…something…and I remember your face as you ate the meatball. I want to be the reason for the sated look this time...”

~§~*~§~*

“Tobias Zachary!”

{Damn... I said that aloud didn’t I?}. “Yes, Claudia Jean?”

“Don’t you know that you are always the reason for the sated look on my face?”

“Like you, I don’t believe myself to be the sexiest person in the world.”

“To me you are and to you I am – isn’t that all that matters?”

“It should be... it’s just that...”

“If you’re thinking that I only fell in love with your words... or that Ben was right…that would be incorrect. Look at me. It wasn’t your words that curled my toes when you kissed me. I fell in love with you. It’s your passion... the way your hands move, when you’re trying to get a point across... your eyes as they turn from brown to black, when you get excited... it’s your voice... Toby – you could make a cookbook sound exciting! It’s...”

“I will have you know that cookbooks are very exciting.”

“Uh-huh... right.” CJ grinned, “It’s also the fact that...”

CJ crawled into his arms, and buried her head in his chest as she spoke.

Toby laughed. “No fair – mumbling is disqualified as a confession.”

“... When I caught you staring at me in the floor, I had a very quiet but effective orgasm.”

Toby blushed to his ears as he whispered, “I thought if I looked at you... my secret – our secret would be so obvious. Tell me, why do you think that I disappeared to change? The feeling of your arms around my neck, and head on my shoulder overwhelmed me.”

~§~*~§~*

“My boy had a dirty mind that night... didn’t he?” CJ whispered, and smiled at him.

“MMmm HHmm… I never thought anyone could make me that dirty...”

“What do you think now?” CJ whispered.

“I... I’ve had a hard time keeping clean.”

“Does my boy want to be clean?”

“Only... only if you are my maid...”

“Do... do I need a uniform?”

“Not all the time.” Toby caressed her face, “Right now, all I need is you – Claude – to keep me clean.”

CJ crept up to his ear, and whispered, “I have a question, Sir. Is there a reciprocal service available? You see, sometimes... I get very excited and have accidents... would you help clean me?” CJ rimmed his ear, “Would you?”

“I would do anything for you... anything.”

~§~*~§~*

“Right now, it is you who needs help – tell me what to do.”

“MMmm… aching for your touch...”

CJ smiled, “You didn’t take care of that in the shower?”

“Don’t tease... Platonic showers with you torture me... and something with Panasonic on it just isn’t the same.”

“Why didn’t you take me in the shower?” CJ grinned.

“Same reason you didn’t want the kitchen.”

“Ah. Well, let’s see what I can do.” CJ gently removed Toby’s towel and watched him spring to life. She laughed, and said, “Here’s our problem.”

“Claudia Jean!”

She returned to Toby’s ear, “So, I was thinking... if I’m going to be cleaning – does my boy... the one with the dirty mind, want to explore?”

Toby nodded enthusiastically. Under hooded eyes, he said, “Will you feed me, first?”

She smiled. “Does baby need to be fed before Mama gets busy?”

“Jeano? I need you.”

“Zack, what’s wrong?”

“Sometimes, the last few days, I feel that, we were so busy being other people – the other forms of us – we forgot that we are in fact, us. Zack and Jeano or Toby and Claude. Anybody else just gets in the way.”

“All right... Toby? Come to me. Are you hungry?”

“I’m starving.”

“Well, there’s burned pecan pie, or me...”

“When given the choice, my answer is always the same. Without a doubt – you.”

~§~*~§~*

“Toby… only the names change…in the end, you are always the reason for my excitement…I want you no one else.”

He crawled into CJ’s arms and gently caressed one breast while flicking the other with his tongue. “Open your eyes, I want to see what I do to you.”

CJ’s eyes opened briefly, only to flutter shut in ecstasy. “Aahh…III…Oohh…To—by!”

Toby smiled, “...Just think... I almost took your words away.”

“MMmm... Yeah... but right now...”

“Wait…not yet…humor me for a minute and trust me?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Go fill the tub.”

“Shall I get in?”

“No, sit on the edge and wait,” Toby smiled. “I want to do this right…finally…”

~§~*~§~*


	21. Beginning, The

Part 21

Several minutes later, Toby entered the bathroom, only to find CJ sitting on the end of the tub, lost in thought. He smiled, “Hey.”

CJ startled and slipped into the water. “Damn.”

“Are you all right, can you stand?” Toby smiled.

“... There’s always been this thing with me in water...”

“Yes, there has... suppose we get you out of here. Will you permit me to help you?”

CJ nodded, and smiled, “I... I think it’s twisted...”

“Put your arms around my neck, and hold on.”

As CJ, placed her head on his shoulder, she whispered, “You smell good enough to eat.” As she nibbled his ear CJ continued, “May I Toby? Please... I’ve tried to be so good.”

“You... can’t do... anything... until we... reach our destination.”

~§~*~§~*

After settling on the duvet-covered mattress that Toby had assembled in front of the fireplace, he kissed her gently. “Now, tell me what is going on in that beautiful head of yours…you didn’t even hear me enter the bathroom.”

“Never mind. It doesn’t make sense.”

“Tell me, what doesn’t make sense, my girl.”

“I want... I want this to be our first time... for everything to be fresh and exciting... for you to still want me... I want you ... I want you to be my dirty boy. Come; play in my private place. Take your time to explore other possibilities. Make me so excited that I create a mess. Cleanse me. Teach me to be good.” CJ began to cry, “I don’t ever want to disappoint you again... don’t ever let me go. The last few days have been... not again Toby – please. I’m begging you!”

“SShh…that’s my Angel. No one is going anywhere I promise.”

“But, you said…”

“Jeano, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing....”

“Tell me.”

“You... you said it. The night of the rehearsal, ‘Can you honestly look at me, and say that if we had explored whatever force there was that day, we would not be together?’ The reason we didn’t explore it is…I ran.”

“Don’t do this... come sit in the chair.” Toby led her to the armchair, and knelt at her feet. “This is my promise.”

“Toby, what are you doing?”

“I’m reaffirming my proposal to propose, completely conscious, sober, and free of afterglow.” Toby smiled, “One day, when God deems us ready, I will take your hand and say ‘Claudia Jean Cregg you make me smile, when no one can, take away my words by walking in the room and most importantly fill my heart with feelings I can’t fully express yet…I’d be lost without you… marry me.’”

Tears streamed down her cheeks, and smiling she whispered, “To which I will respond, ‘Tobias Zachary Ziegler, I am yours.’”

~§~*~§~*

Every time you walk in the room, it’s fresh and exciting. I touch you, and my blood pressure goes through the roof... whenever we make love, I find something new. Your eyes turn a different color, your squeal is just a little higher, and I find a new place that makes you purr. As he caressed her face, Toby whispered, “Right now, however, you need a thorough exam, to make sure you’re not hurt anywhere else.”

“MMmm HHmm… but no rectal, okay Toby?”

“Okay... Claude? Open your eyes a minute.”

CJ’s eyes opened, and Toby inquired quietly, “Your brothers?”

CJ nodded.

“You never have to ask again... I will never hurt, my Angel.”

“I know, however, I think I hit my tailbone. You can check that can’t you.”

“I can... now where do you want me…?”

~§~*~§~*

“I want you to wait... you need to be taken care of, don’t you? Look, you are so swollen... is this tender?”

Toby squirmed as her finger ran over his tip, “... Very...”

“That’s okay... do you want me to use my special touch?”

“Oh, God... yes, please.”

CJ crept up to his ear, “This could get quite messy... I’ll clean you up – thoroughly – all right?”

“Yes, yes ma’am.”

“Are you comfortable?”

“I... I want to see your technique... and your eyes. So much can be communicated through the eyes.”

“Sit here.” CJ switched places with him. “Are you relaxed?”

“Thank you, much better.”

As CJ kissed his inner thigh, he moaned. She whispered, “This won’t take long.” After a few minutes of her lapping and gently sucking him, Toby came in a rush. As they locked eyes, CJ continued to suck as Toby came back to Earth. Once he relaxed, she didn’t move, but rather stayed where she was, gently cleaning him, with her tongue while never losing eye contact.

~§~*~§~*

“You’re amazing.”

“Thank you... do you want anything else... Sir?”

“I want to hold you.”

“I’m not sure that’s appropriate and the chair is rather small, Sir.” CJ smiled.

Toby stood, and held out his hands, “Follow me.” He led CJ to the mattress, where they curled together. “Comfortable?”

“Very... thank you…Sir.”

After several minutes, Toby whispered, “You are quite beautiful... and I just love your hair down.”

“Thank... thank you Sir.”

“Now, tell me, what you want.”

“It’s... it’s really not proper – Sir.”

“Claude, it’s me... what else do you want, Angel?”

~§~*~§~*

“MMmm… I want you...You know...”

Toby laughed, as he turned off all the lights, except a single desk lamp in the corner. “Are you all right?”

“Yes, Sir.”

“Now, lie down and close your eyes.”

“Yes Toby.”

As he slipped beside her, Toby whispered, “What do you want first my girl?”

“You…don’t make me say it again...”

Toby began to trace her opening with his fingers.

“No.”

He smiled and kissed her center. “Is that better?”

“MMmm HHmm but more.”

Toby moved his tongue up and down her center.” Claude... Jeano, if you want me to explore, you have to let me in first. Come on, Sweetheart, I want to explore – and make a mess… oh, and I’m such a dirty boy…Tell me, I want to hear you say it again. What do you want?”

“I... I want to be dirty. Dirty, because of you... I want you to play in my private place, exploring thoroughly and make me come. Please, Zack...”

“Open wide for me.” Toby then blew a cool stream of air on her center, and it opened as if by magic. “That’s my Angel.” His tongue entered, and probed every inch, saving the best for last. He reached out, blindly to grab her hands, and his tongue curled to hit her G-spot. As CJ screamed Toby’s name, he lovingly reaped his reward.

~§~*~§~*


	22. Beginning, The

Part 22

“Thank you Sir, that was…incredible.” CJ smiled.

“Is there anything else, a man in my position could do for you?”

Her mouth moved several times, but no words came out.

Toby crept into her arms, “Is it possible – Claudia Jean Cregg is speechless?”

CJ smiled, “Give me a few minutes – I’ll think of something. However, I believe that it’s your turn. What would you like me to do, Sir? You say that you have no fantasies left … there must be something. What is your secret desire Sir? You can tell me.”

“Claude?”

“Yes, Toby?”

“No fantasy – just you and me, right?”

“Always and forever.”

“Okay.”

“What do you want?”

“Claude, listen to me. You remembered there was more than one way to show your love. Not only once, but three times. Don’t get me wrong…that’s not all I need for a never-ending love-fest. We will have some pie, have a leisurely day filled by very pleasurable indoor activities… and then we are going to ‘Windows on the World’ for a very late, private dinner, to see in the New Year.

~§~*~§~*

“Was that good, Toby?”

“The best Claude…absolutely the best, because you made it…. You know what else I want?”

“HHmm?”

“I... never thought about it seriously, until yesterday morning. Never, I promise. I meant it when I said, that I don’t need a costume to fantasize about you... but... you look so damn sexy, that I...”

“Do you want me to be your personal maid, Sir? Would you like to watch me clean and fulfill your every desire? You’ve been very messy, dirty and wicked.” She whispered, “Once I’m finished, I will make sure to show you, where your equipment goes...Sir. What do you want Sir?”

“That’s a loaded question my girl.”

“Yes, Sir…it is Sir…I’m feeling quite explosive…”

Toby whimpered. “MMmm...”

“What do you want?”

“Only you.”

~§~*~§~*

“Toby! I…”

“SShh…When I said that I’d only fantasized about you since the wedding…I lied. Ever since our kiss, you’d show up the oddest places with a ‘come-hither’ look on your face, which I could never resist.”

“Give me ten minutes…then follow and trust me.” With a seductive grin, CJ turned and headed for the bedroom.

~§~*~§~*

When Toby entered, he gaped, trying to speak, but words died on his lips.

CJ lay diagonally on the bed, completely nude, and licking her lips.

“Are you hungry Toby?”

“I…”

“SShh…let me feed you…come for me…be good…” CJ covered his head with kisses. “I want you inside me. Please come in and play…. That’s…that’s it…right To—by!” 

After brushing CJ’s neck with his beard, Toby nibbled her ear and whispered, “Is that what you wanted?”

“I hope it’s what we wanted.”

“Oh, yes, Miss Cregg…I was most certainly fulfilled.”

~§~*~§~*

“Do you want me to clean, Sir?” CJ smiled, “If I recall, you like to watch, and these sheets need changing badly.”

Toby beamed, “No uniform, I get to be wicked, and no games of Keep Away.”

“Catch me first!”

As Toby pursued her into the living room, he caught her and whispered, “I said no Keep Away…for that you must pay.” 

CJ crumpled in laughter onto the air mattress and cried, “Oh, Toby…not there I’m tick…”

“Ticklish? You? I must explore.” Giggles of delight were followed by moans of pleasure as Tobias Zachary Ziegler explored every inch of Claudia Jean Cregg.

‘Oh, wow.”

“Are you all right?”

“Past all right…way past it. This was supposed to be about you…”

“If you think I’m not enjoying myself…that hearing you scream my name, doesn’t make me extremely excited – we have a serious problem.

~§~*~§~*

“Are you a dirty boy?”

“Want to be…so dirty…”

“Can I watch?”

“Was sorta hoping you’d…help.”

“Oh, I will…but not how you’re counting on…” CJ rolled to the other side of the bed. “Come for me, Tobias… let me see your excitement.” As she caressed her most intimate parts she whispered huskily, “How dirty can my Darling Boy become…without touching me?”

“MMmm…Jeano….”

“Close your eyes…listen to me…and come. I love you so much, and can’t live without you.” She continued to tease herself as she said, “I never thought I would say that to anyone. I don’t need a ring; your ‘proposal to propose’ is enough to satisfy me. I will stay…until you…tell me to go. You are so tense. You need release. I love you Tobias Zachary Ziegler, always and forever. Come for me Baby. Come.”

~§~*~§~*

With those words, CJ and Toby shared a simultaneous release.

CJ smiled, “I think we need that reciprocal maid service.”

“Not yet.” Toby whispered as he crawled to her. “I want the private tour.” He sucked each finger. “I want to know what place makes what noise…how hard to press and when to push.”

“A graduate course later, I promise. Just hold me, and make love to me. I’ll show you nuances ‘because’ later, right now. I need to come ‘with’ you...”

Quietly, Toby said, “I’m still hungry... will you feed me?”

CJ laughed, “You’re impossible!” CJ smiled, “only if you let me show you where this goes first.” As he gently began to thrust, CJ smiled, and whispered, “Come; let Mama feed you… that’s it... that’s my boy – my good boy. Take all I have – I’m yours.”

When Toby took a break, he nibbled on CJ’s ear, whispering, “With your hair down, I can do things to you that no one will know, except us. Isn’t that exciting?”

“Very exciting, Sir.”

As he rimmed her ear, he whispered, “I love you too.”

“Take me, Sir…. now! I want you so badly! Mark me Tobs, make me yours!”

~§~*~§~*

“Sig, Claudia, Happy New Year.” Philippe greeted warmly. “Claudia have you enjoyed your holiday?”

CJ blushed, “Very much thank you.”

“Sig is showing you a good time, I hope…”

“Philippe watch it my friend,” Toby grinned below his beard, “Claude is going to be a permanent fixture here, so get used to it…I plan to.”

Philippe smiled, “Ah…I see…well, welcome Claudia…congratulations Siggy you finally found a keeper.”

“Thank you,” he whispered. “Do we have our promised table?” 

“A room actually,” Philippe beamed.

~§~*~§~*

As CJ settled, Toby paced. “Toby, what’s wrong?” 

“It’s not enough…you shouldn’t let it be enough!”

“Toby? You’re scaring me.”

“I’ve made my life with words…that’s all I know…have known for as long as I can remember. My love for you is beyond any form of communication.”

“Zachary…”

Toby knelt at her feet and produced a ruby double heart pendant. “Here…it was Mother’s. Wear it until I can trust myself enough to give you the ring that will make you mine forever.”

“Yes, Toby.” CJ slid into his arms and they shared a tender kiss.

After a few minutes, CJ drifted to the window. “I can’t believe another year is ending.”

Toby followed and after snaking his arms around CJ’s waist whispered; “Yet for us, it’s only the beginning.”

FINI


End file.
